35.5 and starting fresh

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bzarfas

Member
Hi
I had some health issues that caused me to change my life about 15 yrs ago, Since that time I have been with a few women(1 fat girl) ;), 1 long term relationship/
never had an ongoing sexual relationship before or after that

For the last 2-3yrs, I've been really down.  I'm  currently dealing with depression about my "downgraded life because I am disabled, (walking problems, dysarthria(main issue), double vision, balding)

After a bad breakup in 2010,  I gained 70lbs and life sucked, I was unhappy etc, I had a fling with a MILF  and other low hanging apples/girls during this time.

I was fat and had issues in the bedroom and felt like ass all the time.(lowT+ED issues)

So I joined a contest/group challenge and lost 80lbs, via blood work, increased Total T by  2x(doubled) and my total cholestero dropped from 225-->152.

I was great.  all charged to go out and do what I wanted to do.

I looked good, felt better was making progress to get back on the track I was on. Then life tossed me another curveball, cataracts, which is tough when you have double vision. 

Medical insurance/bills issues galore, when I  finally got surgery, I had pretty much gained back  70lbs

See, to deal with life, I  turn to food.
Doing that caused me to I go from  BMI 26--BMI 38.9

Currently, Im pulling myself together.
I got a new job
I have educated(not much) myself on fapping and porn, I was a daily Fapper. I KNEW I had to quit the porn, but like the diet, I kept telling myself, "i'll start tomorrow)

The fapping when you are fat isnt even very good,  but its how Dealt with stuff.(after you fap, you eat then sleep, great way to end a day when you have no freinds and are feeling sorry for yourself all the time.

Having both low Testosterone(from being so fat) and from PIED,  caused my sex life, even fapping life to suck.

I am learning how to recover from both


1st
I have the health thing down, I am healthy(besides the lowT) but since thats  due to the weight, I'll be ok once I lose the fat. (I did this in 2011/2012, were I over doubled my T level by losing 70lbs-->I got to 180lbs BW) 
You you put on enough weight, you can actually give yourself a form of secondary hypogonadism, or clinically low testosterone.)
I gained weight because:
food makes me happy, so eat, feel good a while, (usually fall asleep) start next day
It was how I dealt with my medical condition that forced me to leave colllege and lose my social life and having dysarthia, makes that really hard to get back , plus Im 35.5 now.
So I learned how to eat right and NOT ever get fat again...I workout, eat tons of veggies, little meat and lots veggies. I'll post what I eat daily,

I am here because I need to fix this PIED I have....and lose weight(by august 8th, ~50lbs)

I will keep a journal here, I just got a job loading trucks, so the weight loss will come from having a sound diet

how do I fix the PIED?
I'll fix the PIED by not fapping and only having sex with girls?
Or can I fap, but just not with Porn or any "help"
What's the best way to handle this?

Seeing as I've used porn for about 15-20 yrs, I think this will take a while.  but what else am I going to do? My life sucks enough, I can't look at that, I have to look at the positive side of things

Any comments are appreciated.

 
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bzarfas

Member
bzarfas said:
how do I fix the PIED?
I'll fix the PIED by not fapping and only having sex with girls?
Or can I fap, but just not with Porn or any "help"
What's the best way to handle this?

Seeing as I've used porn for about 15-20 yrs, I think this will take a while.  but what else am I going to do? My life sucks enough, I can't look at that, I have to look at the positive side of things

Any comments are appreciated.
Click to expand...

so is not masterbating the way to fix pied?
 
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bzarfas

Member
CrazyGopher said:
a lot of guys have reported that avoiding masturbation is helpful. But, every body is different, and there's no guarantee it will fix your issue. The only way to find out would be to try it.
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so if no more porn/masterbation doesnt work, what else can you do?
 
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bzarfas

Member
How boring, so instead of jacking off, I am eating

ok so I'm cutting that out now also
sheesh,

I notice girls look hotter/more attractive and I have more energy and Im eating more. which isnt good
 
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bzarfas

Member
Im also using my COUNTDOWN banner to keep track of times I've O'd (I can do it without porn, I don't know if thats a good thing?)
but also for sticking to my diet
Im at 35% bodyfat not  getting down to 12%
 
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Tom_itsa

Member
Besides the physical aspect, for me a lot of energy comes from successfully dealing with my every day work, finishing what I've planned and just being productive and it has a very positive influence on my self-esteem. Of course, everyone is different but my libido and my energy relies on that very much.

My advice would be to cut off negative influences slowly but with a firm goal. I'd say that every person has a vice that keeps them somewhat sane that others might find weird or bad. I don't know if this is good advice or not, but many people have noticed that cutting off ALL the bad habits at once might be too much.

My advice (like I said, it comes from my intuition) would be to "fap" without porn and to try to do it as rarely as possible and to replace that with a hobby or with something that with time will give you the same amount of pleasure and that might boost your self-esteem. That's the path I'm going to take.
 
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bzarfas

Member
Tom_itsa said:
Besides the physical aspect, for me a lot of energy comes from successfully dealing with my every day work, finishing what I've planned and just being productive and it has a very positive influence on my self-esteem. Of course, everyone is different but my libido and my energy relies on that very much.

My advice would be to cut off negative influences slowly but with a firm goal. I'd say that every person has a vice that keeps them somewhat sane that others might find weird or bad. I don't know if this is good advice or not, but many people have noticed that cutting off ALL the bad habits at once might be too much.

My advice (like I said, it comes from my intuition) would be to "fap" without porn and to try to do it as rarely as possible and to replace that with a hobby or with something that with time will give you the same amount of pleasure and that might boost your self-esteem. That's the path I'm going to take.
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That sounds great, Tom.

Due to my medical issue(s), I don't have much going on in the way of a social calendar and I start a new job on Wednesday.  So I look forward to that. I have a family event that will take place in August, so I'm really working hard to drop the fat I've gained in the past 12-6 months to look healthy for that event/

I was riding my  recumbent bike and I got a bit of a boner(and I was just watching TV and playing poker, so I was midly surprised.  It likely was a result from the yohimbine HCL (7.5mg) that I took+coffee,  Im going into ketosis on my PSMF diet and I had a  tough time falling asleep last night, the urge to FAP, which puts me to sleep, was non-existent, as I was more hungry.    I don't know how long I slept,  my sleep schedule isnt great, and my job is a night job, so  that's not going to help.
but being so overweight is horrible for my health, both my grandpas died from heart disease and my mom had the boob cancer(and is fine 6 years later). so I am killing 2 birds with one stone and I'll be a ton better in 12 weeks
 
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Tom_itsa

Member
I wish you luck, dude. And we're all here for you. When a person is set on his/her goal completely there is nothing one can do. many things in life are kind of a drag: job, school, staying away from vice etc. and even if you slip one day keep pushing in the same direction. It's not easy but the victory will be 100 times sweeter :)
 
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bzarfas

Member
Tom_itsa said:
I wish you luck, dude. And we're all here for you. When a person is set on his/her goal completely there is nothing one can do. many things in life are kind of a drag: job, school, staying away from vice etc. and even if you slip one day keep pushing in the same direction. It's not easy but the victory will be 100 times sweeter :)
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Thanks, Tom,

I never understood when my parent would tell me,  "you can get anything you want, it just depends on how much you want it".  Which needs a translastion into something useable/something I can take action on.
My diet is a ketogenic one, right here:
http://aaron.emascc.com/diet/ebooks/Lyle_McDonald_-_The_Ketogenic_Diet.pdf
so having it laid out for me, makes it all that much more doable.

I was teased today about both my PMO and my diet goals
I was at walmart returning some stuff. While in line I was behind a girl(20s) who had a very interesting back tattoo and while Im forced to look at that, I have the smell of pizza all around me. 
I did what I had to do at walmart, grabbed a coke zero and got out of there.
sheesh
 
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bzarfas

Member
I had a  "Free-meal" on my diet, A day off the diet won't undo a weeks worth  of deficits(1000x6) 6000 calorie  deficit, and it helps me stay on my diet as I look forward to the free meal.
but I do like to eat after I O, so was able to get off fairly easily, without P.
but I still reset my countdown since it says NO PMO?
and now that I'm extra hungry and the sticking to the diet is harder BECAUSE I had a free meal, I am not doing this again
not until August 10th
 
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bzarfas

Member
I get excited by things and things are going a lot better for me since I have stopped looking at porn.
I am using girls as  my source to get love from not from the porno.
I'm still losing fat to my date on my Banner, so I'll let you know differences of being unhealthy(BMI 32, bodyfat 29%) and being healthy(bmi <25 and/or bodyfat <15%)
 
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