Yes I Can!
- Thread starter bob
- Start date
bob
Respected Member
I?m doing OK.
So good to see you here. Glad that you sign off with NGU. Helps as I was originally confused.
How are you doing? I haven?t spent a lot of time on here so I have kind of lost touch. Hopefully things are going well as I hope for all who are working through this.
Peace
So good to see you here. Glad that you sign off with NGU. Helps as I was originally confused.
How are you doing? I haven?t spent a lot of time on here so I have kind of lost touch. Hopefully things are going well as I hope for all who are working through this.
Peace
hope2reboot
Member
Hi Bob, see you?ve been battling this stuff for a while. Me too. I like what you said about staying humble. I sometimes wonder if that?s why some of us have this addiction....to keep us humble. As the saying goes ?pride comes before a fall? so knowing how weak we really are I think maybe keeps us humble. Keep up the good fight!
L
Lero
Guest
hope2reboot said:
As long as we have this addiction anyway, I think it's revelatory in a way. Being pushed past the limits that you think you have, and still going on. For three weeks, I've had to endure a crazy strong craving and nostalgia for the awesome dopamine release given by porn, and I thought I wouldn't be able to make it past 1 week, initially. I've been pushed by this fucking shit to the limits for 3 weeks and I've realized some stuff about myself. One is that I can do it. In the beginning, I wasn't able to tolerate more than 4 days of porn abstinence and I used to say: "Imagine going 2 weeks. That's impossible. Unbeatable." Then you see that you have the potential to actually do it. If this makes sense.
hope2reboot
Member
All the best Bob. I hope and pray you find victory! I think it?s possible for all of us no matter how many times we?ve failed in the past.
bob
Respected Member
Thank you.
I have started a 12 step program (SAA) with the hopes that this will be a decision that will take me forward in my recovery. I was brutally honest with my sponsor, telling them of my history and how I have progressed through the years. However, i still have difficulty with the concept of the higher power. In my group, it is obviously God that drives these folks. For me, its a bit more difficult. I just don't know if I can connect with that concept, even though they say that your higher power can be anything you like.
I am giving it a try and exploring all opportunities as I would like to be on the other side of this problem; at least at some point in time.
I have started a 12 step program (SAA) with the hopes that this will be a decision that will take me forward in my recovery. I was brutally honest with my sponsor, telling them of my history and how I have progressed through the years. However, i still have difficulty with the concept of the higher power. In my group, it is obviously God that drives these folks. For me, its a bit more difficult. I just don't know if I can connect with that concept, even though they say that your higher power can be anything you like.
I am giving it a try and exploring all opportunities as I would like to be on the other side of this problem; at least at some point in time.
bob
Respected Member
I'm torn. I want to be done with this obsession.
Spring of 2018 I hit rock bottom. I decided that I needed to quit. I had problems with both porn and other compulsive sexual behaviors. I knew the science to the problem as I had been on these sites since 2015. But, I have not been able to quit. It?s been almost 5 years. And it is expected to require 3-5 years away from this crap to really feel like this is done. So why not commit to the 12-step program?
I realize the theory of 12-step programs is that you are never done. Addiction becomes a part of your life. Understood. If this is negative aspect of program, I also see positives in other realms. 12-step programmer?s eventually give back.
Per the website of the Sexual Addicts Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/
12th Step of SAA:
?Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.?
I also realize going it alone was not successful. It?s impossible to beat this thing on shear willpower. Any single or combination of the following: group work, counseling, religion, research, sites like RN or YBOP, or other personal connections, will help. If I am not vigilant, I will return to the addictive behavior. The result of persistent use of high-speed internet porn or other highly repetitive and habitual sexual behaviors never really goes away. Not completely. My brain will work against me. Few if any have ever ?white knuckled? and won against our brain. I don?t think I am going to be the first.
So I struggle with the idea that I have to be identified as an addict or a recovering addict for the rest of my life. Whether I accepted the program ideals or work with other means available, I have a long road ahead.
I hope these thoughts define a journey begun.
Sorry to ramble on...
Spring of 2018 I hit rock bottom. I decided that I needed to quit. I had problems with both porn and other compulsive sexual behaviors. I knew the science to the problem as I had been on these sites since 2015. But, I have not been able to quit. It?s been almost 5 years. And it is expected to require 3-5 years away from this crap to really feel like this is done. So why not commit to the 12-step program?
I realize the theory of 12-step programs is that you are never done. Addiction becomes a part of your life. Understood. If this is negative aspect of program, I also see positives in other realms. 12-step programmer?s eventually give back.
Per the website of the Sexual Addicts Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/
12th Step of SAA:
?Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.?
I also realize going it alone was not successful. It?s impossible to beat this thing on shear willpower. Any single or combination of the following: group work, counseling, religion, research, sites like RN or YBOP, or other personal connections, will help. If I am not vigilant, I will return to the addictive behavior. The result of persistent use of high-speed internet porn or other highly repetitive and habitual sexual behaviors never really goes away. Not completely. My brain will work against me. Few if any have ever ?white knuckled? and won against our brain. I don?t think I am going to be the first.
So I struggle with the idea that I have to be identified as an addict or a recovering addict for the rest of my life. Whether I accepted the program ideals or work with other means available, I have a long road ahead.
I hope these thoughts define a journey begun.
Sorry to ramble on...
I hear your suffering, bob. Not just with wrestling with porn, but with questioning the way the recovery process is framed. Everyone's different, and what benefits one person might not benefit others, or may even be harmful. Maybe you can identify the elements that are useful to you, in whatever terms, concepts, or programs are out there, and can discard the rest?