This is it. While not entirely new to this I am now back!
60+ years old and I have not gone without pmo or mo for more than 24 hours, over the past 45 years. It wasn?t everyday when I started (at 8 years old?) but I made up for it later. I started with magazines and progressed through all possible changes in technology. Magazines were collected, soft to hard. Those were hidden and maintained until I threw them out in disgust. Then the cycle would repeat. When VHS came out I rented players, made copies of rented videos and collected again. This process was repeated again and again. Next was dial up Internet with downloads. Finally, I was streaming everything through high speed Internet. Some days I would repeat pmo up to 3-5 times a day, edging for hours on end. I planed that each session would only take a few minutes long. Hours later I would finally o. I would then look at the clock and realize I was out of control. I never finished thinking the time was well spent.
I wasted a lot of time with this behavior.
Now for a bit of background? I have been married for 25+ years to a wonderful woman. We have two older boys who are close to being on their own. My wife has known about my pmo habit and has never been judgmental. However, she has been frustrated with my lack of ambition, my lack of intimacy, and my distant behavior. Over the years I talked to her about my concerns but was never able to stop.
Honestly, I am not sure what began this current attempt to break the cycle. I guess it was my wife saying, ?You know, you can download pod casts on sex addiction.? I started to search and then to listen. After that I found YBOP and the video that explained how porn affects the brain. I am now on my way to being pmo free.
I am still scared. I know that it will get harder before it gets better. I only recently (last two years?) had any problems with ED. I attributed it to being close to 60 but honestly; I now realize its direct connection to porn.
I want to stop. I need to stop. I am so glad to have found YBOP and Reboot Nation.