Yes I Can!

bob

bob

Respected Member
Traveled this past weekend. Was ready to act out and went into places that promote this type of behavior. Felt the same way the last time i went into a strip club. I paid my money, sat around thinking; why am I here? Didn't do anything. Might have but I didn't. Did the same thing on the return trip. Thought about it. Entered ready to act out. Didn't.

Not proud of this. It wasn't an accomplishment. I succeeded by default. Not a good way to go. Got to one point where I was looking for an ATM to get money that I typicality wouldn't spend. Ready to spend the big bucks... and I didn't. Glad but somehow I guess I wanted more of a feeling of success. Kind of stupid to even think this way.

Know I was playing with fire. Not the way to go. Not sure how to feel. Seem to be floating and trying to dock on an idea, concept or goal. Know where I should be headed. Just trying to turn around and move forward. Move forward in my mind as well as my heart. And, to be able to say that I rejected the opportunities. Not that they just didn't happen.

Rambling I know. Just sort of low.
 
J

jstock

Active Member
Don't feel bad bob, I've been looking on Craigslist, at the personals, looking at them thinking about acting, I wont. Is rather pmo, than I mess around with someone that could kill me. Hiv. I guess it's a little big of a rush. I'm proud of you bob. It would have been easy to blow a bunch of money, but you didn't.  Right now it's critical for us to stay focused. We want that high. It sucks, but we will get past it. Don't give in, I wont.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Thanks for your thoughts. Just need to tell someone.

It really is weird how controlling this thing is.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Good morning folks.

Sitting at 5 days without MO. Goal is to beat (pun sorry) my goal of 9 days back in September. Got to be the hardest (sorry again) I have ever done.

Peace
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
One more day and I have matched my best. 9 days without MO. Thinking bout lots of different things but I'm moving forward.
 
N

notgivinup

Guest
Hey Bob....just read your recent posts....glad you are here and still in the fight.
Congratulations on 8 days.

NGU
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Seems like it constitutes a pretty small goal but i will take it anyway.

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
unchained

unchained

Active Member
Doing good Bob!  In the past, when I was able to keep MO at bay, it made staying away from P much much easier.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Well, I thought I would check in as I haven't been active on RN for a while.

I made it 15 days without MO this past December. Longest I have gone in many years. Wasn't as bad as I had thought but I finally finished a big project and thought, what the heck. I was by myself and... well you know the story. Anyway, since then I MO'ed at least once, everyday. Then I read the about the potential benefits on YBOP. Some of them sound almost too good to be true. But, the some of them were backed up from research and I thought I should give it another go.

My goal will be to go 30 days without MO. Not going to start a counter or anything but I am going to work at it.

I did have another thing that happened that seemed really strange. I was out on the town with my wife (and a group) on New Years Eve and I had two different women seem to flirt with me. Mind you I am at an age where I am realistic about women automatically being attacked to me. My mind sometimes wonders about the possibilities but like I said, I'm realistic. I am also married so I don't want to stray. However, both of these women held eye contact more than the normal amount of time. I almost turned around to see who they were looking at. Anyway, it seemed strange. Nice, but strange.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Currently in a funk. I would guess that depression is setting in. Not particularly thinking about PMO or MO but it doesn't seem far from my mind either.

Not sure what to do but plod along...

 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Moving along with the elimination of MO from my life. Seems amazing to even consider. It has been so long, most of my life actually.

I read about the surprising results from this type of venture; more energy, more out going, clear headed thinking. I wonder. Is it reality? Is it possible? Last month, I went for a total of 15 days straight. Not much time if forever is your goal but a lot if you have NEVER gone that long without MO. At the end of that stint, my decision to do it seemed almost secondary. It was like it was not big deal. My mind set was that I could have gone further but what the heck. Why not.

Anyway, back at it with 5 days behind me with a minimum goal to MO less than last month. Currently 6 times for this month. It would be better to have this the start of never again... we shall see.
 
H

harry

Active Member
Hello Bob,

I'm on day 7 no MO, and I would never have considered it if I hadn't read all the negative stuff in the posts and on YBOP. I thought it was just the PMO that had to go. I know now that for me MO will just lead to the same bad behavior (dopamine rush and chasing), the same broken pattern. I need to change completely how I look at sex, pleasure, and masturbation. My goal is to have a fantasy free MO (which sound completely crazy too) where I just get off on my body's own pleasure and sensitivity. Not sure how long that will take...

Stay strong and congrats on your decision.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Thanks Harry,

Seems strange doesn't it. After all these years, working to give up something that is so ingrained. But give up we must.

More power to you as well

Peace
 
L

Leon

Guest
Bob, wanted to connect with your journal. I've been loosely following your journey here, and am encouraged by your support of others.

Wanted to say, well done, man.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
Just checking in folks. I seem to be doing well. Days are passing by and I haven't PMO'ed or MO'ed. Have had fleeting moments where it crosses my mind. However, I recognize anything on the edge might just push me over. I remain cautious.

For that reason, I came up with personal reasons to stay away. Some are serious. Some are  selfish. Others were unexpected. Some are just plain fun.

They are all my reasons to keep going.

Reasons to take on a PMO, MO free life

  • Brings me closer to my wife.
  • Stay in the moment (no need to sneaking away).
  • Sex is more intense.
  • Enjoy my time making love, (no quick, "I have to O").
  • ?Sure you can use my computer", (No hidden stash).
  • All people deserve respect; Porn is not victim-less.
  • Free porn is not free. No need to line the pockets of people who exploit others.
  • More time available, ("where did the time go"?)
  • Eliminate DE and PIED issues.
  • Waking up with an intense hard on.
  • Pleasant sexual response around attractive females.
  • Increase sense of confidence.
  • Perception that I am more desirable to others.
  • I am in control.

Positive thoughts to all who are working through this process.

Peace.
 
L

Leon

Guest
Bob, all these are excellent reasons given.

Remaining cautious, recognizing anything 'nearing the edge' is a worthy mindset.

Well done.
 
sodonewithit

sodonewithit

Active Member
So glad to read those points Bob.  I had a hella run but funked up a little with the stress of life.  It's a funny game this but I'm glad to leach some inspiration from the good guys here.
 
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