A lesson learned

Hope

New Member
Hey, okay so this is my first journal sort of thing on here. So the aim of this is to maybe see if you can relate to this sort of scenario and if so then maybe this might help you. This is my second day clean.

Did my exam today, felt a bit anxious at the end worrying whether I'd past or not...
I then started worrying about the other exams ,whether I passed them and whether
I may have to redo the enititre year. It's times like this when I realise I'd use PMO
to leviate or medicate stress. And now from my new view point I realize how illogical and pointless
it is too worry about this stuff in the first place, it won't change anything for better or for worse
, its out of my control.
I tried my best , worked my best that is all I should care about.The result I get is out of my control
now, so why should I worry about it , doesn't make any sense...
This today is a prime example how I would have used PMO before to 'temporarily' relive
the stress. But the fact is all it did was waste precious time and mask emotion. And when it
was done the stress just comes back and you end up being more stressed due to the fact that
you have relapsed which is just making it even worse...and a waste of time which could have been used
for the betterment of yourself  through a healthier more productive activity. For example;
chilling with mates, excersize, having a walk , write a journal etc

The mistake I would have made is: Using Pmo too feel good(temporarily), but what I wouldn't realize
is that I would just set myself up for more problems and stress(Binging,social anxiety,brain fog etc ). Very counter intuitive isn't it? And it's this habit
that we need to get rid off. Cue(STRESS /WORRYING/BOREDOM)------>Trigger(intension of MO/PMO)------>Action(doing PMO)

It's the cue which is the heart of the problem  NOT the intention or trigger, LEARN TO DEAL WITH STRESS A DIFFERENT WAY
AND JUST ACCEPT IT...this is life. So instead of leviating the stress with pmo, do something else. In my case it
was writing the journal, and by writing the I'm reinforcing that mindset of accepting the stress and responding
to it positively rather than reacting to it....and remember PMO is NOT AN OPTION so find another away which wil better your strengths and...
won't destroy your life.

"Problems don't go away by worrying(or using PMO), but through action(healthy activity/finding solutions to problem) and acceptance."

Life is full of stressful situations, but we got to stop running away from them and stop medicating ourselves with PMO
and start facing them and finding solutions to them in a healthy and benefical way for our future. So when you
find yourself in these situations, just stop and breathe slowly and relax then think what ALTERNATIVE ways you can
leviate this stress rather than PMO.

hope this helped in some shape or form, still new to this.
 

tschulien

Member
Hi there
I can totally relate to the fact that I used to MO whenever I was stressed, sad, bored or just in a bad mood OR out of habit. Your text was very well written and I like how you analized the problem. Being on the program for almost 13 days now, the biggest difference I feel so far is that I have more energy/don't get tired in the afternoon as I used to. Not much has happened in the libido department, but I'm positive that this is only a matter of time.

Good luck to you!
 
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