Anonymous1980 Journal - Quitting PORN for good

[Anonymous1980]

Hi All,

Today marks the day I've decided once and for all to put an end to my Porn addiction by starting a Journal which will keep me accountable.

I have tried before on my own with no support and found myself falling for the same triggers and trying again every couple of months with no success. I know that GOD forgives me as I am a sinner and weak in the flesh.

I started masturbating at the age of 11 and got introduced to porn at the age of 12 when you would sneak around to your friends house whose parents had a hidden box of Video cassettes that were porn. Since then I would masturbate at least 2-3 times a day, sometimes with Porn magazines and some time with NO porn, just with thoughts. I stopped using porn the day I started having sex with girlfriends, at that point Porn was non longer in my life and kind of vanished as I started having relationships with girls.

I really started getting addicted to porn after the first year of my marriage, the rise of Internet Boom and free access to porn was what did it for me.

I got married at the age of 21 and i am now 33, I'm happily married to a wonderful wife and 2 kids . The first year of marriage was good as i didn't need Porn in my life but one day at the age of 22 after a few drinks I couldn't sleep, so I went on-line to check some e-mails. I made one mistake that night and it was to open a SPAM e-mail that contained erotic material and woooosh just like that Porn came back into my life and i haven't stopped since. I tried stopping on many occasions over the years but failed miserably.

I have noticed how Porn has affected my moods, bringing on anxiety and depression and starting to have an impact in my career where i'm unable to complete difficult tasks etc... because all my mind could think of is Porn.

So I stumbled on yourbrainonporn.com which explains how my brain works and has been an immense relief in that I now know what my triggers are and how to avoid them, the site has given me hope that there is light at the end of the Tunnel and hopefully with the support from members on this site I'll be able to kick off this nasty evil addiction.

Every week I will be posting on my Journal to let you all know how I'm progressing and hope that i can be an inspiration to others.

From today onwards the Only Orgasm I will be having is with my wife and that's it ! NO PMO for me ever again.

I pray to GOD to help me through this period which will no doubtfully be extremely difficult but in him I trust and can't do it alone
"Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Thank you all for your support

 

[Anonymous1980]

Ok so 1 week has gone by with no porn or masturbation. It's been pretty hard it's constantly on my mind.

Some of the symptoms I've experienced so far  are:

1. Headaches
2. Brain fog- I have difficulty in concentrating at work
3. Luck of interest in just about everything
4. At night i get anxious and wake up in the middle of the night with strong urges
5. Some feeling of depression but not too acute.

All in all a good feeling that i'm on the road to recovery.

I've had sexual intercourse twice with my wife I hope that doesn't indeer my progress in anyway or form. Is anyone out there married or in the same boat, how do you manage it ?

Cheers

 

[arthur]

Hi Anonymous, let me be the first to welcome you here! I'm in a similar situation to yours: also a P veteran, also in the same relationship for more than a decade and with two kids, also many failed attempts at quitting. I'm not religious though, but in situations like this I often wish I was. I've seen in others that it can be a great resource and motivation for change.

I can relate to your symptoms, I've had them too on my first reboot attempt, particularly the brain fog. Back then I did what you did and quit both the P and the M. Made it for 21 days, after the 10th day it was quite a struggle. This time I only try to quit the P, plus all fantasies about women other than my wife. Up until now, getting a release from time to time even without sex has made it a lot easier. On the other hand, I'm only on day 10 now, so let's see?

I know some here have strong opinions about avoiding any sexual behavior during a reboot, but I think everybody has to experiment to find out what works for them personally. There isn't one "right" way to do this.