The One
Member
My name is James. I am 21 years old, 5'8'', I live in Toronto, and have PIED. Bleh fuck.
I am currently on Day 30 of no Orgasming at all. I never spent much time on this site before and then I started reading the journal of iHaveSeenEvil. He has inspired me so much to start journaling so lets go!
My backstory with PIED up to this point;;
Did not start watching P until 15 and did not start M until a few months after watching P. Yes I watched P before M'ing for the first time and never knew what M'ing was until I accidentally discovered it with P. ( I know, i must seem sexually retarded to not know about masturbation until 15, but thats the way my life played out).
To make matters a shit load worse, I masturbated prone until 18 (humping pillows and bedsheets to get off with porn as assistance) ( I know,, REALLY sexually retarded). This feels really weird writing out right now btw.
Anyway, i was a virgin until 18. I lost my virginity in University. I was really looking forward to go to University in Toronto so I could meet lots women cause I grew up in a very small town. Thing was, whenever I tried hooking up w/ them, I either couldn't get hard or else it would take me like an hour to do so. When i went to google to find out my problem, i stumbled upon 'healthstrokes.com', saying my problem was M'ing prone. In a week of no M i should be back to normal. Well i took a week off M and was able to M fine with my hand now but I still used porn.
Almost 2 years then go by: I don't have sex but instead fall into a depression and have lots of social anxiety. I also watch porn everyday like an idiot! I finally decide its been long enough since I've been with a girl. I meet a sweet girl on Tinder, and when its time to fuck, it again? takes me 3 hours to finally get hard.
WTF! I thought I solved this problem. I go back to google for help and find YBOP. So then on January 12th, 2015 I ended my PMO. Thing was though, i kept M'ing a few weeks after, quite regularly. I was able to get pretty good erections, i definitely had to use fantasy to retain it.
I then met a great girl in April. My reboot was doing pretty well. Sometimes I couldn't have sex and sometimes I could. Once we even fucked 3 times in one meetup and I felt awesome! But In June she left me. And then I found out she gave me Molluscum Contagiousum on my cock (Its a pox virus, look it up, it does go away but takes time) Plus, just for the fun of it, a rash showed up on my cock too. Fuck. (i've tested for STD'S & I'm clean) This gave me tons of panic attacks and then I relapsed once to porn because of the Molluscum plus feeling shitty about her leaving me? i just needed an escape form the mental pain. I M'ed a few more time after but then decided I wanted this fixed once and for all. I've stopped all orgasm for the time being. I'm going to be journaling everyday because I feel it will help. I hope this helps people but if no one reads it, i know this well help me.
Okay, day 30? lets go.
I am currently on Day 30 of no Orgasming at all. I never spent much time on this site before and then I started reading the journal of iHaveSeenEvil. He has inspired me so much to start journaling so lets go!
My backstory with PIED up to this point;;
Did not start watching P until 15 and did not start M until a few months after watching P. Yes I watched P before M'ing for the first time and never knew what M'ing was until I accidentally discovered it with P. ( I know, i must seem sexually retarded to not know about masturbation until 15, but thats the way my life played out).
To make matters a shit load worse, I masturbated prone until 18 (humping pillows and bedsheets to get off with porn as assistance) ( I know,, REALLY sexually retarded). This feels really weird writing out right now btw.
Anyway, i was a virgin until 18. I lost my virginity in University. I was really looking forward to go to University in Toronto so I could meet lots women cause I grew up in a very small town. Thing was, whenever I tried hooking up w/ them, I either couldn't get hard or else it would take me like an hour to do so. When i went to google to find out my problem, i stumbled upon 'healthstrokes.com', saying my problem was M'ing prone. In a week of no M i should be back to normal. Well i took a week off M and was able to M fine with my hand now but I still used porn.
Almost 2 years then go by: I don't have sex but instead fall into a depression and have lots of social anxiety. I also watch porn everyday like an idiot! I finally decide its been long enough since I've been with a girl. I meet a sweet girl on Tinder, and when its time to fuck, it again? takes me 3 hours to finally get hard.
WTF! I thought I solved this problem. I go back to google for help and find YBOP. So then on January 12th, 2015 I ended my PMO. Thing was though, i kept M'ing a few weeks after, quite regularly. I was able to get pretty good erections, i definitely had to use fantasy to retain it.
I then met a great girl in April. My reboot was doing pretty well. Sometimes I couldn't have sex and sometimes I could. Once we even fucked 3 times in one meetup and I felt awesome! But In June she left me. And then I found out she gave me Molluscum Contagiousum on my cock (Its a pox virus, look it up, it does go away but takes time) Plus, just for the fun of it, a rash showed up on my cock too. Fuck. (i've tested for STD'S & I'm clean) This gave me tons of panic attacks and then I relapsed once to porn because of the Molluscum plus feeling shitty about her leaving me? i just needed an escape form the mental pain. I M'ed a few more time after but then decided I wanted this fixed once and for all. I've stopped all orgasm for the time being. I'm going to be journaling everyday because I feel it will help. I hope this helps people but if no one reads it, i know this well help me.
Okay, day 30? lets go.
