No More pmo
New Member
Hey Guys, here's my journal. About me:
How Does PMO Affect Me?
From the times I have been on an awesome streak of nofap, I've seen what life should normally be like for me. When I go back to pmo-ing I see the prison I've created for myself. When I'm pmo-ing:
This is the time for change. I can't believe I've been so comfortable with inaction. This shit is destroying my life. If I don't fix this today I will never fix it. In 20 years am I still going to be jerking off to some colours on a screen in a dark room?
Am I still going to be the awkward needy guy in social situations?
When am I going to take responsibility for myself? It's up to ME only, I need to stop blaming others.
Okay, here are the steps I will take to beat this addiction and live a NORMAL life:
[list type=decimal]
[*]Quit Reddit altogether. Installing K9 for not just porn but no more aimless reddit browsing (where I will often find a trigger somehow)
[*]I have hired a locker at uni and will keep my laptop in there when I go home
[*]I will delete reddit from my phone
[*]I will write in my journal every day
[*]I will write in my journal WHENEVER I am tempted
[*]I Will keep a tally somewhere clear and out in the open
[/list]
Other things that I will do to help:
Okay. To readers this is probs a big jumble of random things but that's because this is mostly for me. This journal is going to awesomely show my progress from a porn addict to a free and normal human being. I wish I could speak to future 'No More PMO', I bet he's smiling and loving life.
It's time for change.
Yesterday, you said today.
Today is now, change now or change never. That's the decision I need to make. I'm at the point where I will go through heaven and hell to beat this addiction. I'm sick to death of being stuck here. Being limited in this prison. Of not being the best version of myself.
This video helped me immensely, maybe it will help you?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo#t=676
- 20 years old
- I live in Australia, studying science atm (hoping to transfer to business)
- I first pmo'd when I was 13 and have done it daily since
- I usually do it 2-3 times a day
- My main trigger is facebook, then I move onto worst stuff from there
- I have been trying nofap for over 1.5 years. My best so far is 65 days but most of the time I barely get a week. Otherwise I'm stuck in a binge until I am motivated to change
- My problem? I'm comfortable. I hate conflict and want to stay safe. When I've stopped pmo-ing I've had amazing things happen to me. I've met amazing people and had the best experiences of my life. But it's scary to start. It's scary to leave the world of pleasure that I'm caged in.
- This time I'm changing for real. I've never taken it 100% seriously. I still keep my laptop in my room and edge a bit here and there. NO! This time I'm doing it for real. 100%. Here, I'm making a big declaration: I will never look at porn or masterbate ever again.
- atm I'm on a binge. I haven't got a day of no pmo for weeks. I feel like I'm living in a dream world. My brain is foggy
How Does PMO Affect Me?
From the times I have been on an awesome streak of nofap, I've seen what life should normally be like for me. When I go back to pmo-ing I see the prison I've created for myself. When I'm pmo-ing:
- I have limited energy and am very sleepy a lot of the time
- I feel like my brain operates at 30% when I'm in social situations. I often feel like I'm a step behind the conversation. I often feel awkward and don't know what to say
- I feel really guilty all the time
- I feel like I have to prove myself to people. I crave their validation.
- I waste hours and hours every day - to the point where I get blisters (I'm on accutane so my skin is dry and easily irratated)
This is the time for change. I can't believe I've been so comfortable with inaction. This shit is destroying my life. If I don't fix this today I will never fix it. In 20 years am I still going to be jerking off to some colours on a screen in a dark room?
Am I still going to be the awkward needy guy in social situations?
When am I going to take responsibility for myself? It's up to ME only, I need to stop blaming others.
Okay, here are the steps I will take to beat this addiction and live a NORMAL life:
[list type=decimal]
[*]Quit Reddit altogether. Installing K9 for not just porn but no more aimless reddit browsing (where I will often find a trigger somehow)
[*]I have hired a locker at uni and will keep my laptop in there when I go home
[*]I will delete reddit from my phone
[*]I will write in my journal every day
[*]I will write in my journal WHENEVER I am tempted
[*]I Will keep a tally somewhere clear and out in the open
[/list]
Other things that I will do to help:
- I'll be hitting the gym harder and more seriously
- I'll be upgrading my wardrobe with new clothes
- I'm going to be active socially. Usually I never invite people to things, I let others invite me. From now on I'm going to have house parties and always be creating experiences for others
- I'm going to quit video games altogether too. These add to my addiction. Quitting halo and Skyrim.
- I'm making a rule for myself: I can't be at home from 9-5 during any day. I read that environment is crucial in addictions. If I'm not at home there's no pmo. Even if I'm not at uni or at work, I must find something else to do out of the house during that time. This could be going to a cafe, going to the gym, hanging out with friends, whatever.
Okay. To readers this is probs a big jumble of random things but that's because this is mostly for me. This journal is going to awesomely show my progress from a porn addict to a free and normal human being. I wish I could speak to future 'No More PMO', I bet he's smiling and loving life.
It's time for change.
Yesterday, you said today.
Today is now, change now or change never. That's the decision I need to make. I'm at the point where I will go through heaven and hell to beat this addiction. I'm sick to death of being stuck here. Being limited in this prison. Of not being the best version of myself.
This video helped me immensely, maybe it will help you?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo#t=676