Can't live like this anymore

[TheRainKing]

I really feel this addiction has had a big impact on my life from my career to my marriage to my spirituality. I've been surrounded by porn since I was 5 or 6 years old. I absolutely hate it but it's definitely a drug form me I watch it to deal with my problems but it continues to make them worse. Outside of the shame and guilt it really has affected my marriage for obvious reasons but also because it's always in some corner of my mind when I doing anything with my wife. Sometimes I think at 36 it's too ingrained in my brain to ever become "normal". This addiction is killing my will to live, I'm trying to make some positive changes for myself. Right now I don't really like me at all. I'm going over all these books on addiction to porn and triggers and bunch of other stuff trying to figure out what I need to do to deal with the day to day temptation, realistically that temptation isn't going away anytime soon so I'm trying to get some type of game plan to deal with that. I'm really glad for this site I feel like porn is out of control and making lots of people sick, and I don't like being sick.

 

[PhoenixRevival]

Goodluck RainKing!!
Porn really destroys life. I can relate to you when it comes to the guilt and shame. feeling that now after a relapse.
Am on no porn for 14 days now and life has really changed, in the better.
What is working for me: Forum complaints, exercise, meditate, learning a new course.

 

[Tom_itsa]

Hi, TheRainKing

don't worry, habits are breakable too, even if they don't seem like it. I'm on my second day now of starting fresh and changing my life. I've been keeping myself busy because I have a lot of work to do and it helps. I've been surrounded by porn from early age too. It was my older brothers mags and VHS tapes that I was looking at secretly. I know how hard it is. Keep strong. I'll be posting about my addiction when it gets worse (2nd day now and still ok) and about methods to keep away. Goodl luck.