Uh so today isn't day 1 tomorrow is gonna be. I'm 26 and have been into PmO since I first got Internet at about 13. I am an addict through and through and I am currently just under 2 years clean from narcotics - through the 12 steps. Recently I realised this PmO addiction has been far longer lasting and constant than any of the drugs! I have had a good few attempts to stop and have an accountability partner but just keep deciding at about the week point that I don't want it anymore - then always regret it. Been trying to get on a spiritual lifestyle and this just isn't it, feel shame and guilt, embarrassment and powerless with it. Frustrated as well that keep going back to it, hoping someone reads this and knows what I'm on about. Girlfriend is coming back from Australia in a few weeks and I thought I was gonna get free of this whilst she was away - that was 5 months ago! Anyway wishing u all luck and blessing on your journeys.
Starting recovery wanting some freedom
- Thread starter Ap26
- Start date
Still DAY 1 - had some thoughts about P but its that "chasing" thing.
I have a bit of fear about this flatlining - my girlfriend is coming back in 26 days and i really don't want to have no libido when she gets back. That seem like a pretty crazy reason to not go through with reboot though. My head is probably just making excuses.
I have a bit of fear about this flatlining - my girlfriend is coming back in 26 days and i really don't want to have no libido when she gets back. That seem like a pretty crazy reason to not go through with reboot though. My head is probably just making excuses.
No one has commented on this yet so I thought I would welcome you and offer some support. You have done well just admitting you need to stop this addiction. Thats the first task. Next is just severe willpower. Use this as a base when you first start and you will find as time goes on you will get out of the habit, and then use sites like this less infrequently.
Just out of curiosity, have you had any ED or performance problems etc due to the Porn use?
Just out of curiosity, have you had any ED or performance problems etc due to the Porn use?
Hey mate thanks for the support. Really is quite hard to stop this keep reseting because in I'm like well I've done it now so ill start again tomorrow 
I haven't had full ED (but then it has been nearly 6 months since last had sex) but definitely not as hard as I used to be. You know my main issue with it is i have realised i cant stop, also going into types of porn I really don't like and then feeling really horrible afterward. Have been in sexual relationships most of the time since i was about 15 but porn has be the constant one! Like sleeping with girl and then waiting for her to leave so i can look at porn.
Like i said though I'm a recovering heroin/crack addict and its only since putting down drugs a couple of years ago that I have realised this addiction has been going on in the background the whole time. I can say from experience by the way that the thought process is exactly the same with drugs and porn. Dunno if u relate but I always decide (and mean it) that I am gonna stay away from porn for X amount of time or forever, then a week or a few days later I have some fleeting thought that builds into something that over rides all rational thoughts and I believe I make a decision to look at p again, only to regret it afterwards and start the cycle again. Thats exactly how drug addiction was for me as well. That reptilian brain overriding all the rational thoughts of the frontal cortex!
Day at a time though and tomorrow is monday so Im starting again! Really want to get to 30 days.
Thanks again for the support man, was starting to feel a bit lonely there
I haven't had full ED (but then it has been nearly 6 months since last had sex) but definitely not as hard as I used to be. You know my main issue with it is i have realised i cant stop, also going into types of porn I really don't like and then feeling really horrible afterward. Have been in sexual relationships most of the time since i was about 15 but porn has be the constant one! Like sleeping with girl and then waiting for her to leave so i can look at porn.
Like i said though I'm a recovering heroin/crack addict and its only since putting down drugs a couple of years ago that I have realised this addiction has been going on in the background the whole time. I can say from experience by the way that the thought process is exactly the same with drugs and porn. Dunno if u relate but I always decide (and mean it) that I am gonna stay away from porn for X amount of time or forever, then a week or a few days later I have some fleeting thought that builds into something that over rides all rational thoughts and I believe I make a decision to look at p again, only to regret it afterwards and start the cycle again. Thats exactly how drug addiction was for me as well. That reptilian brain overriding all the rational thoughts of the frontal cortex!
Day at a time though and tomorrow is monday so Im starting again! Really want to get to 30 days.
Thanks again for the support man, was starting to feel a bit lonely there
Getting a bit depressed here! 30 days was goal and got to three. I know it's about keeping in trying but I'm struggling juts seems like a losing battle with my head.
Have out blocks on my phone and Wifi but the wifi one is too easy to remove so I've decide the only option left is to take the router out and leave it at work for a few weeks.
Have out blocks on my phone and Wifi but the wifi one is too easy to remove so I've decide the only option left is to take the router out and leave it at work for a few weeks.
Well day 3 - probably shouldn't be so happy about that as my goal is 20x that but I actually finally feel like p is not an option. Gotta say that removing router from the house has really helped - option is gone and 4g on my phone has content control on which takes 24hrs to remove - have looked at FB in a pretty triggering way though but u love and learn.
Feeling positive
Feeling positive
Ahhhhhh getting so frustrated with this now! Can't get past 4 days. New plan of action is to entirely avoid Internet as much as possible whilst still doing my job. Am noticing how it starts with Facebook then continues - am doing less chasing now I suppose. Probably need to calm down around it and look at progress rather than failure all the time. Another plan is I'm going to limit going on this sure as the whole Internet is a trigger. Phone is a trigger too though! Scrolling about mindlessly is no good for me! Anyway day 1 - again! No more action I can take I just need to find the resolve - that reward path way is strong though the more I try to stop the not I realise how strong! Just overrides everything really quickly. Good luck to everyone on here.
Day 3 - smiling! A week and 1 day until my girlfriend gets back so I'm kinda pissed that I don't have at least thirty days abstainance before that but I did try, is harder than I thought. A bit worried about ED when she does get back but that =s not today and I will deal with that if and when. Generally feeling good. Used technology to my advantage, with x3watch installed, no router, filter on phone basically the works! Although this sine enough to stop as Im sure u all know u can always find a way around blocks, its still be a great help so far! The best plan of all though has been just avoid the internet full stop - and on that note. Good luck folks