My Recovery Journal

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b.burnette08

Member
Sorry if I am not using this forum correctly. But I plan on turning this post into my 30 day no masturbation journal. I have struggled no masturbating for multiple days in a row, and it has been slowing my recovery. I simply plan to update this every night to inform you all how I am doing. Please feel free to comment or encourage me!

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 1,

Today was successful. But I did see sexually implicit material on the internet (typical internet browsing experience nowadays?). But no masturbation. I have not viewed pornography for nearly 4 months now and have no desire to go back. My problem is I can only go about 7-10 days without needing to masturbate. When I do I am not even horny at all, but simply feel the desire to ejaculate. Sorry if this was more detailed than anyone cared for.

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 3,

Another successful day! Still no masturbation! But I expect worse days to come. I expect that it will start getting harder to resist around days 7-10, and I have never gone more than 14 without masturbating. Right now I just need to handle my daily stressors from work and past traumas.

Even if nobody is reading these, thank you Reboot Nation for giving me a public forum to be held accountable.

-B
 
P

papers

Member
Hey man, we are both on the same schedule. Keep it up! I have issues around the 10-14 day mark, so a little later in the path. This time when I hit the fork in the road I am prepared to choose differently. It sounds like you are too.

You are in full control over every particle of energy in your body. You must want to use that energy in a productive, healthy way in order to make the right choice, as must I.
 
FreeForGood

FreeForGood

Member
Hey Britain.

Forget those thoughts. We have all sorts of impulsive thoughts all the time so don't pay attention to them. Also, try to understand which situations trigger the desire to masturbate or what are the underlying causes of that desire. When I masturbate, I do it because of porn and for the pleasure. But there's something else - for me it has to do with feeling masculine or manly. Maybe it's such a clich? but that's what I feel.

 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 6,

Sorry this post is late. I forgot to update my journal last night. Yesterday was another successful day. No masturbation. Saturdays are always a little harder for me since I have more time to myself and I live alone. But I was able to go out and do things to keep me busy. I haven't experienced any hard withdrawal symptoms yet, but I'm sure they are on the way.

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 8,

Another successful day of no masturbation! I hope soon to start feeling stronger erections. But I am still not where I should be.

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Sad news,

Yesterday I gave in to masturbation. I did not watch any porn but still let myself masturbate. Let me clarify to anyone reading this that I do not believe masturbation itself is bad, but it is truly slowing my reboot.

To reflect on yesterday, I had a frustrating conversation with a friend who is not the healthiest person emotionally. Long story short, I used to attend a church that was a pretty negative environment. The people were very negative and dysfunctional. I got used to being around these people to the point where I did not feel comfortable leaving (leaving was discouraged). Yesterday I finally told one of them who texted me about my decision. She in all honesty did not value my reasoning or feelings for leaving. Thankfully I do not live in the same city as these people anymore and therefore do not have to communicate with them. I don't know if this is a coincidence, or if it caused a lapse in my reasoning to give in to masturbation.

Anyway, I plan on starting a 30 day no masturbation challenge again. I've noticed that I usually give in from day 7-10. I plan on preparing myself for them. I need to use more techniques to avoid the urge.

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 1 (again)

First let me start off by saying I had no way of knowing people were posting to my entries! My apologies! And I wish I had known earlier!

Anyway, no masturbation today! I get sexual thoughts throughout the day (mostly when I am bored and my mind wanders). I am preparing myself for days 7-10. I plan on using the cold showers trick starting on day 7 and further.

Thank you for those who keep encouraging me! I now know how to see your posts!

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 2 (again),

Sorry for no update last night. It was another successful day without masturbation. But I have been having stress problems related to work and other things. I will go into more details in my next post.

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 3 (again),

Another successful day of no masturbation! But work has definitely got me down. Long story short, I grew up in a dysfunctional household where I learned bad social behaviors and emotional skills. I believe that this contributed to my brief pornography addiction. Even to this day I still revert back to bad behaviors I learned in childhood.

Work has been stressful. Socializing with other people is very hard for me considering my family background. Many of the times I have my impulsive thoughts about masturbation I am at work "zoning out". Maybe receiving more support will help me in social situations and not encourage sexual fantasies.

Thank you for all who post to encourage me!

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 4 (again),

Sorry for no post last night. Yesterday was another successful day without masturbation! I also realized that I fantasize a lot about sex and masturbation when I am at work and have nothing to do. Still preparing myself for days 7-10!

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 5 (again),

Sorry for no post last night. But yesterday was another successful day without masturbation! I definitely had some desire to last night, but I believe this journal is helping me stay accountable. Still preparing myself for days 7-10.

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 6 (again),

Sorry for no post last night (starting to become a bad habit). But yesterday was another successful day without masturbation. I am still preparing myself for days 7-10. Starts tomorrow. HARDCORE MODE!

-B
 
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b.burnette08

Member
Day 7 (again),

Another successful day without masturbation! I am currently in my 7-10 day range where I typically have failed my no masturbation challenge. My erections have still not recovered to the point where they were pre- porn/masturbation, but there has been very slow progress. Still preparing myself for days 8-10! HARDCORE MODE!

-B
 
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