RAMI
Member
Hi everyone! My name is Rami, and I?m 24 years old. First of all I want to apologize in advance for my English, as it is not my native language. I?ll do my best to express myself as clear as possible.
I?ve been struggling with porn use since the age of 16 when I got high speed internet at home. Started to watch porn occasionally, really thinking it was a normal thing to do. Things in my life really started to get worse in 2011 when my porn use went through the roof. I was using almost every day, multiple times per session. My relationship with my girlfriend took a hard hit since I started to become a bitter person basically, depressive, always in a shitty mood, complaining about everything and not taking responsibility for my place in life.I started to perform worse and worse at college, really procrastinating all the time. My social life was almost non existent due to my anxiety around people and for the fact that socializing just got me in a really bad mood.
In 2013 I came across with YBOP and everything just made sense. Since then I?ve been able to get a few good runs, even a 93 days streak from september 2014 to december, only to end up relapsing. Since then I really can?t get on track, I became a chronic relapser who just can manage to get a few days, maybe a couple of weeks before relapsing for X reason.
I?ve never developed PIED, but my addiction is getting really out of control, and I know It?s a matter of time for me to develop a porn-induced sexual dysfunction if i keep going through the road of porn. Every time I relapse, I binge on harder and harder stuff, It?s really scary. My social anxiety It?s worse than ever. I live in a depressed state almost every time. I get irritated very easily. I also developed a huge problem objectifying women. But the saddest thing of all It?s my inability to really connect with people, to love others or to feel any love at all. I numbed myself to all emotions.
I?ve been struggling with porn use since the age of 16 when I got high speed internet at home. Started to watch porn occasionally, really thinking it was a normal thing to do. Things in my life really started to get worse in 2011 when my porn use went through the roof. I was using almost every day, multiple times per session. My relationship with my girlfriend took a hard hit since I started to become a bitter person basically, depressive, always in a shitty mood, complaining about everything and not taking responsibility for my place in life.I started to perform worse and worse at college, really procrastinating all the time. My social life was almost non existent due to my anxiety around people and for the fact that socializing just got me in a really bad mood.
In 2013 I came across with YBOP and everything just made sense. Since then I?ve been able to get a few good runs, even a 93 days streak from september 2014 to december, only to end up relapsing. Since then I really can?t get on track, I became a chronic relapser who just can manage to get a few days, maybe a couple of weeks before relapsing for X reason.
I?ve never developed PIED, but my addiction is getting really out of control, and I know It?s a matter of time for me to develop a porn-induced sexual dysfunction if i keep going through the road of porn. Every time I relapse, I binge on harder and harder stuff, It?s really scary. My social anxiety It?s worse than ever. I live in a depressed state almost every time. I get irritated very easily. I also developed a huge problem objectifying women. But the saddest thing of all It?s my inability to really connect with people, to love others or to feel any love at all. I numbed myself to all emotions.