The YourBrainRebalanced Radio Show - Video Podcast w/ Gabe Deem and Gary Wilson!

[Spangler]

You're the first I've spoken with to describe those exact experiences, but the mental/emotional state of many rebooters goes through a huge flux as withdrawals kick in and the brain strives to find a new balance. If this journey gave you a panic attack, I have no doubt that it may bring about other such severe symptoms such as depersonalization. It can take many months without porn to adjust to your new reality, but after long enough all withdrawal symptoms should resolve. If it doesn't, then it may have another cause, and I'd recommend seeing a professional.

After your 100 days you went back to porn? How did that affect the depersonalization?

 

[OSS]

There were definitely other factors involved but they had never really affected me due to the emotional numbing porn caused. But once that anxiety hit all those previous factors started to flood in emotionally also. It was the first time ever achieving 25 days no arousal. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Yeah I did go back to porn so, I'll try lay this out for you...

Day 26, (no arousal) - Panic attack
Day 42, first MO, no porn (didn't negatively impact anxiety or DP, it just stalled progress)
Days 42 - 120, I was Ming about 3x per month, peeked on google images maybe 2 or 3 times (nothing major, bikini girls)
Day 120 (early April), Binged on tube sites for a few days

Days 26 to about 50. I was non functional, shaking and crying with anxiety for most of my waking hours, heavy DP. I still get anxiety over nothing and I'm really really sensitive to things like CSI seeing a dead bodies on tv etc. But I'm now mostly functional and the DP is 60% improved, anxiety is improved.

So as for your question lol.... Going back to porn stalled the progress I had made on the depersonalization as well as my anxiety progress. Coincidently hit 26 days no porn, 5 days no MO today and my anxiety has definitely increased the past few days. DP acutely increases if I get into a panic cycle.

Sorry for these walls of texts lol but there are so many variables I feel it's a bit easier to understand with more info

 

[fugu]

HEYO! After a little bit of a hiatus, the boys are back in town and making some episodes again. Episode 7 is live and rolling. We talk about a slew of new pornography studies that recently came out and their relevance. We also just chat about porn addiction in general, humorous stories, and other random stuff during the second half of the episode. Lesssssssss gooooooo

 

[OSS]

This episode was great, had me laughing a lot 

"We needed to fuck long before we needed to do calculus" hahaha

 

[fugu]

This episode was great, had me laughing a lot 

"We needed to fuck long before we needed to do calculus" hahaha

Hahahaha. That killed me, too. Glad you liked the episode!

 

[OSS]

Fugu, I have a question for the you and/or the crew. It's semi complex, may just be easier to answer via message rather than on the show but anyway here it is.. Sorry, it is a bit of a heavy question.

I'm in a situation where I'm not really sure what I want to do. I'll put it in cliff format for convenience

- Currently 18 turning 19 soon, living at home
- I wish to move to a different city, I do not like my current city and it's an opportunity for personal growth etc
- Don't know what I want to do for a job/career (If I wish to study it won't be until 2017 or so)
- I feel like moving would benefit me, but at the same time would be incredibly hard if withdrawals got any worse
- Not sure if the only reason my brain is telling me to move city is because of withdrawals which makes my city feel depressing and shitty, creating the illusion of moving being like an escape. Even though the thought of moving gives me anxiety lol

Sorry if you're not really sure what I'm trying to say but...

My question is basically, while I have these withdrawals of depression/anxiety should I be making serious life decisions? Or should I just wait it out, live at home in comfort until the withdrawals are gone so my judgment isn't so clouded?

Thanks a lot!

 

[fugu]

Fugu, I have a question for the you and/or the crew. It's semi complex, may just be easier to answer via message rather than on the show but anyway here it is.. Sorry, it is a bit of a heavy question.

I'm in a situation where I'm not really sure what I want to do. I'll put it in cliff format for convenience

- Currently 18 turning 19 soon, living at home
- I wish to move to a different city, I do not like my current city and it's an opportunity for personal growth etc
- Don't know what I want to do for a job/career (If I wish to study it won't be until 2017 or so)
- I feel like moving would benefit me, but at the same time would be incredibly hard if withdrawals got any worse
- Not sure if the only reason my brain is telling me to move city is because of withdrawals which makes my city feel depressing and shitty, creating the illusion of moving being like an escape. Even though the thought of moving gives me anxiety lol

Sorry if you're not really sure what I'm trying to say but...

My question is basically, while I have these withdrawals of depression/anxiety should I be making serious life decisions? Or should I just wait it out, live at home in comfort until the withdrawals are gone so my judgment isn't so clouded?

Thanks a lot!

We will DEFINITELY answer this on the next show! It's a great question!

 

[OSS]

Thanks a lot! Appreciate it!

 

[fnatk]

Hey OSS, I just wanna say as someone who's lived in his city of birth his entire life, as a matter of fact, I've even lived my entire life in the same house (And still do at the age of 29!)... next year I'm FINALLY moving out as I'm going to be studying in a different city. I've got 3 options and well, I honestly don't care much for where I end up, as long as I end up somewhere else!

I think having a change of scenery is healthy, you'll meet new people, see new sights and experience something different! I'm trading Stockholm (The capitol of Sweden) for three much smaller cities, in fact, two of them are not even cities, they're towns. And that actually feels like a good thing (For me).

So you're young and you don't know what you want to study? I'd say TRY something you think you might fancy! I've been spending my last 10 years (Since graduating) being just like you described: Lazy, unmotivated and a piece of shit. I graduated as a computer technician but 11 weeks of practical work told me it was boring as FUCK. And I'd need another 3 years education on top of that to install printers? No way! So I just spent my life playing WoW and jerking it to porn. That's NOT the way to spend you're 20's man, trust me.

So now that I've realized my problem and thought about what I truly enjoy in life? I've come to the conclusion that I honestly want to make computer games. Its what I've thought about even as a young kid when I first got a taste of Command & Conquer. Only now have I really embraced the idea and decided that fuck yeah, this is worth studying, this is worth 3 years of my life studying!

So try something you think might be interesting! Be it a potential job or a course you can study. Don't hesitate! Unless perhaps you're in America and will get crippling debt from it... then maybe be a bit more careful in what you try studying

 

[fugu]

That's really good advice fnatk.

I know Daniel (user: Jeff) is actually moving out of his home country very soon - I'm sure he'll have some insight on moving and rebooting. If everything goes according to the plan, we will record the show tomorrow...so you won't have to wait too long for an answer.  8)

 

[fugu]

New episode of the show is up. Thanks everyone for listening and I am glad some people are getting value out of it! We're lucky it is so fun to do.

 

[OSS]

Hey man sorry I didn't get back to this thread, I spilled coffee on my computer and it fried my keyboard. It's been both a blessing and a curse 

I've decided I'm going to move around new years, I'm waiting for financial reasons but the podcast helped me decide I'll do it regardless of where I am with the reboot. It's quite funny because the same day I listened to the show I had 2 different people telling me to just buy a 1 way ticket to a different country and stay there for 6-12 months. Cheers!

@fnatk, Hey thanks for the advice man. Unfortunately it is pretty expensive to study here in New Zealand. I was fortunate enough to visit Sweden (Stockholm + Gavle) and Denmark (Copenhagen + Aarhus) last year and really enjoyed it. I think I would go to Sweden or Denmark if I were to move overseas. Good luck making games man! Grats finding something you enjoy

 

[fugu]

Hey man sorry I didn't get back to this thread, I spilled coffee on my computer and it fried my keyboard. It's been both a blessing and a curse 

I've decided I'm going to move around new years, I'm waiting for financial reasons but the podcast helped me decide I'll do it regardless of where I am with the reboot. It's quite funny because the same day I listened to the show I had 2 different people telling me to just buy a 1 way ticket to a different country and stay there for 6-12 months. Cheers!

@fnatk, Hey thanks for the advice man. Unfortunately it is pretty expensive to study here in New Zealand. I was fortunate enough to visit Sweden (Stockholm + Gavle) and Denmark (Copenhagen + Aarhus) last year and really enjoyed it. I think I would go to Sweden or Denmark if I were to move overseas. Good luck making games man! Grats finding something you enjoy

Good on you man! That's really awesome and I admire your proactive and adventurous spirit. Honestly, you will most likely come out of it completely changed for the better. I studied abroad in central Mexico and lived with a family for only three weeks and it totally altered my life for the better. Made the world I know bigger and changed the way that I viewed almost everything.

Keep us posted if you can, man! I'd love to hear about your adventures and progress.

- Charlie

 

[fugu]

Gary Wilson has agreed to be our guest for the next episode that will be out this weekend!

He just released an excellent book. Seriously, it covers everything from the most up to date science on the disorder to personal stories. Everything you need to know back in ~180 pages or so.

QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? Ask em!

 

[fugu]

Episode with Gary Wilson is live! This episode was amazing. I learned a lot of valuable things in this one.

 

[OSS]

Hey man sorry I didn't get back to this thread, I spilled coffee on my computer and it fried my keyboard. It's been both a blessing and a curse 

I've decided I'm going to move around new years, I'm waiting for financial reasons but the podcast helped me decide I'll do it regardless of where I am with the reboot. It's quite funny because the same day I listened to the show I had 2 different people telling me to just buy a 1 way ticket to a different country and stay there for 6-12 months. Cheers!

@fnatk, Hey thanks for the advice man. Unfortunately it is pretty expensive to study here in New Zealand. I was fortunate enough to visit Sweden (Stockholm + Gavle) and Denmark (Copenhagen + Aarhus) last year and really enjoyed it. I think I would go to Sweden or Denmark if I were to move overseas. Good luck making games man! Grats finding something you enjoy

Good on you man! That's really awesome and I admire your proactive and adventurous spirit. Honestly, you will most likely come out of it completely changed for the better. I studied abroad in central Mexico and lived with a family for only three weeks and it totally altered my life for the better. Made the world I know bigger and changed the way that I viewed almost everything.

Keep us posted if you can, man! I'd love to hear about your adventures and progress.

- Charlie

Honestly I am slightly terrified haha, I just hope I have the courage to follow through with my words when the time comes, especially considering adventure has been a strong desire since before I can remember. Nice man, good to hear when others experiences go well. Appreciate the words! I'll throw you friend request on FB once I re-activate my account.

About to listen to the Gary episode!

 

[fugu]

@OSS - Yeah man! Definitely throw me a FB invite when you get a chance.  8)

 

[OSS]

Hey man, when you have iHaveSeenEvil on the show could you please ask him to discuss his derealization? I want to know if he has any tips to deal with the feeling of going insane when experiencing pseudo hallucinations and thought schisms, also how much rebooting has affected it. Thanks!

Post 633 of his journal I thought I was reading about myself when I read the paragraph about drinking coffee lol.

 

[OSS]

Hey Fugu, any plans for a new show?

 

[fugu]

Hey Fugu, any plans for a new show?

Trying to get things going! Apeman just moved to LA, Jeff just moved to Berlin, and I'm just getting my first semester of grad school under my belt so we're having some issues finding a good time to meet! Hang with us...we will be here soon