hi everybody i started with nofap about 90 days ago. during my first approach i was feeling very good: selfconfident, helpful and carefull to people around, more proactive and successfull approaching girls. I relapsed after 2 weeks (no porn), after that negative throughts started to blow up in my mind...basically i realized how miserable was my life in terms of human relation: inability toi build longtherm friendship and relations, fear of intimacy and problems of communication even in professional life. Becouse of these throughts i relapsed more frequently(3-4 days) and since i feel under pressure i need urgent need to relief (sometimes with gilrs and shemale prostitutes sometimes with PMO). I thruly believe in Nofap but, i feel that joining nofap i started realize all problems i have in my life: i m 34 old, i have good job well payed but my carreer is getting worst year by year becouse of decreasing consideration thru collegues and bosses, i recently failed in my lovestories even if i dont have particular problems to know girls, i failed in my friendships becouse if i see around me i cant see any close connection with anybody). Sometimes i feel like life gave me lots, lots of opportunity but i was unable to catch them, meanwhile i wasting girlfriends, friendships, job opportunities. In some way i believe nofap showed me the bitter thruth of a miserable life...before when i had some problem felt stressed, bored, sad it was automatic go with prostitutes and PMOing just becouse considered " a way to get some relax"...the process was: problem, inability to solve it, panic, need to relief (PMO or prostitutes) ...actually i was escaping the reality! after some hour of relief whithout thinking about all my problems were there. Now i m fed up to escape reality, when i feel in anxious or a bad throught ruminate inside my mind for long time i m not able to concentrate to face a problem and can feel a kind of monster that grow up inside me a tell me: "stop thinking about it, you cant do anything! get some relax checking internet for best escort to have sex, best girl for webcam sex and so on"....if i resist i feel like in panic almost paralyzed and uneble to get rid of bad throughts. I was shoked to realized how deeply psycological is the need and how violently it appears when i need to get concentrated to face and solve a problem. Maybe i am flactening as many peple said, euphoria of first days is gone and realize how miserable is my life is pushing me again to PMO, escort, shemales and social segregation. I m even getting scared becouse after reading thru YBOP and reddit i m realizing i m deeply addicted to sex (PMO, camgirls, escort, shemales), now i m getting able to understand which situations lead me think about sex. Please help me sharing some similar experience, i will be grateful to all of you.