I learned a new word today, to wit "Limerance". It was coined in 1979, and refers to ""an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person."
Here are some signs/symptoms of Limerance, that happen to describe exactly what I experienced with YW (and with other women before her):
? Idealization of the other person's characteristics (positive and negative)
? Uncontrollable and intrusive thoughts about the other person
? Extreme shyness,stuttering, nervousness and confusion around the other person
? Fear of rejection and despair or thoughts of suicide if rejection occurs
? A sense of euphoria in response to real or perceived signs of reciprocation
? Fantasizing about or searching obsessively for signs of reciprocation ("reading into things")
? Being reminded of the person in everything around you
? Replaying in your mind every encounter with the other person in great detail
? Maintaining romantic intensity through adversity
? Endlessly analyzing every word and gesture to determine their possible meaning
? Arranging your schedule to maximize possible encounters with the other person
? Experiencing physical symptoms such as trembling, flushing, weakness or heart palpitations around the other person
Every one of those bullets is right on the money for me, and I think it's safe to say that I am (or was) a "Limerance" addict, in addition to being a PMO addict. The two addictions are related and feed on each other, in that my experience in being rejected by real women always drove me to porn, and my porn addiction made me less attractive to and interested in real women.