bbkenpo
Member
54 years old, have acquired DE and ED for about 4 years or so. I believe I have re-wired my brain so that I can only ejaculate to porn and for sure to masturbation alone. All of this started with DE and then the ED set in after I got performance anxiety.
All through my youth I masturbated (thank God) to Playboy, or solo as there was no porn to look at. There was no internet, no crazy porn situations. Only normal sexy girls in magazine. The craziest it got was Hustler magazine and only crazy because they showed actual penetration. Seems like soft porn now. You still had to use your imagination and maybe that is why I never had an instance of ED (can?t get erect) or DE (delayed ejaculation)
Been divorced 4 years after 22 year divorce. Towards the end of my marriage I was taking Clonazepam for anxiety (not sure if the Clonazepam is indicated in the delayed ejaculation I experienced) and started to masterbate for release and pleasure. There was never enough sex in my marriage so I masturbated quite a bit, but my memory is that was in the shower or sometimes to a magazine, rarely with porn until the end. Since my ex and I were not having sex I turned to masturbation in the end. Of course by then we had high speed porn and like many of you, that is how I was teaching my body to respond.
I noticed several times that even solo I couldn?t cum or it took a long time. I do wonder if the Clonazepam had something to do with it and since then have researched this and it can cause DE. However regardless I was wiring my brain to pleasure from the cycle of masturbation with porn.
Since my divorce I had several encounters with women none of which I was ever able to finish (ejaculate) with. Can you imagine the frustrating and embarrassment? Yes it was great to be able to last super long but not finishing is awful. Then got into a 2.5 year relationship which ended not too long ago. The entire relationship I suffered from DE and sometimes from ED. The ED I assisted with A pill which of course worked but I have since (since about 1.5 weeks ago) decided not to use as it is a crutch I don?t want it. At the time it was prescribed the doctor pushed for its use so I could get and stay hard and not worry about cumming. However as I now know I was just conditioning my mind to rely on it.
Also I set myself up for failure because I had so much failure in the past that I just expected it each time. Each time I would have sex with my long term girlfriend I would desperately try not to think of cumming and just enjoy, but then at some point she would be done and I would not be so most of the time I just masturbated afterwards which took a huge amount of time and effort. She was also bummed she was not able to get me off. I wanted it so badly but it just wouldn?t happen. Perhaps it happened once in 2.5 years from a hand job and maybe 10 times from regular sex.
Since that relationship I have been with 3 women, the current one is my girlfriend. Was not able to finish one time with any of them. But I had not stopped my masturbation to porn and have been wondering about death grip as well. Or at least my brain and body are used to the pleasure of cumming with my hand and porn.
So she and I started a new sexual relationship and I have never been with anyone so sexual. I thought of taking a A pill so I would not disappoint her but luckily have not. I have never ever been able to stay hard for so long and had such libido? I am 100% convinced I do not have ED and never will use A pill again. That part of me is fixed for sure. Thank goodness. However I still have DE, cannot cum.
We had sex many times over 3 days and I never came, got close but did not. She was going away so I asked her to let me masturbate with her in the room.. I just literally could not stand it and to not touch it for the following week. So I did it and it took a while but I came.
So now I have not looked at porn for over a week and it has been 2 days with no sex or masturbation. I am hoping and praying that I start cumming naturally with her soon. I have no idea how long this will take but I refuse to look at porn and will not masturbate myself.
Any thoughts or suggestions are so much appreciated. Anything you suggest or would do or would not do. Thank you!
All through my youth I masturbated (thank God) to Playboy, or solo as there was no porn to look at. There was no internet, no crazy porn situations. Only normal sexy girls in magazine. The craziest it got was Hustler magazine and only crazy because they showed actual penetration. Seems like soft porn now. You still had to use your imagination and maybe that is why I never had an instance of ED (can?t get erect) or DE (delayed ejaculation)
Been divorced 4 years after 22 year divorce. Towards the end of my marriage I was taking Clonazepam for anxiety (not sure if the Clonazepam is indicated in the delayed ejaculation I experienced) and started to masterbate for release and pleasure. There was never enough sex in my marriage so I masturbated quite a bit, but my memory is that was in the shower or sometimes to a magazine, rarely with porn until the end. Since my ex and I were not having sex I turned to masturbation in the end. Of course by then we had high speed porn and like many of you, that is how I was teaching my body to respond.
I noticed several times that even solo I couldn?t cum or it took a long time. I do wonder if the Clonazepam had something to do with it and since then have researched this and it can cause DE. However regardless I was wiring my brain to pleasure from the cycle of masturbation with porn.
Since my divorce I had several encounters with women none of which I was ever able to finish (ejaculate) with. Can you imagine the frustrating and embarrassment? Yes it was great to be able to last super long but not finishing is awful. Then got into a 2.5 year relationship which ended not too long ago. The entire relationship I suffered from DE and sometimes from ED. The ED I assisted with A pill which of course worked but I have since (since about 1.5 weeks ago) decided not to use as it is a crutch I don?t want it. At the time it was prescribed the doctor pushed for its use so I could get and stay hard and not worry about cumming. However as I now know I was just conditioning my mind to rely on it.
Also I set myself up for failure because I had so much failure in the past that I just expected it each time. Each time I would have sex with my long term girlfriend I would desperately try not to think of cumming and just enjoy, but then at some point she would be done and I would not be so most of the time I just masturbated afterwards which took a huge amount of time and effort. She was also bummed she was not able to get me off. I wanted it so badly but it just wouldn?t happen. Perhaps it happened once in 2.5 years from a hand job and maybe 10 times from regular sex.
Since that relationship I have been with 3 women, the current one is my girlfriend. Was not able to finish one time with any of them. But I had not stopped my masturbation to porn and have been wondering about death grip as well. Or at least my brain and body are used to the pleasure of cumming with my hand and porn.
So she and I started a new sexual relationship and I have never been with anyone so sexual. I thought of taking a A pill so I would not disappoint her but luckily have not. I have never ever been able to stay hard for so long and had such libido? I am 100% convinced I do not have ED and never will use A pill again. That part of me is fixed for sure. Thank goodness. However I still have DE, cannot cum.
We had sex many times over 3 days and I never came, got close but did not. She was going away so I asked her to let me masturbate with her in the room.. I just literally could not stand it and to not touch it for the following week. So I did it and it took a while but I came.
So now I have not looked at porn for over a week and it has been 2 days with no sex or masturbation. I am hoping and praying that I start cumming naturally with her soon. I have no idea how long this will take but I refuse to look at porn and will not masturbate myself.
Any thoughts or suggestions are so much appreciated. Anything you suggest or would do or would not do. Thank you!