Warning for the peekaboos - Fresh Case Study

akpal2

Well-Known Member
So,

I have a thread running in 30-39 subforum but I thought this warning will be pertinent here. I had successful sex on Friday night and had it successful the week before that as well. Now I started getting horny again yesterday and it got to a point where I thought I would just peek at some porn and not sit and watch videos. Well, I took a peek. Before I knew it I had gone from video to video and chosen 5 videos in about 5 minutes and was edging to one video for about 2 minutes. Then I came to my senses and quickly turned it off. I am not resetting my counter because I think it will be hard blow to me if I do because 5 minutes is, oh come on, 5 minutes. So the brain circuitry is strong regarding porn. But the next thing is what others should take note of.

Because I had realized what I was doing and left in the early stages, I was still horny. So I go to my girl for sex. And guess what? Where I was able to have good proper sex with a real boner on me, last night I was the same old limp dick. This means, that in MY case, especially, ANY artificial stimulation is setting me back seriously. Just 5 minutes and its a disaster. Need to take heed from this episode.

It is important to note that these 5 minutes of peeking came after 33 days of complete hard mode abstinence and they still became a disaster. So people should desist from peeking even if its for extremely short periods. Who knows what kind of circuitry might be getting rekindled and the rewiring with real people gets a setback.
 

kylar10

Member
i also noticed that. every porn is a total setback in the reboot. So block the porn on your computer... i'm in day 10 and i still don't feel the urges but i should get worst. The main objective is not to watch porn ever again (i'm still struggling wuth fantasies though)
 
I've noticed this as well. It reminds me of the notion that, for example, an alcoholic could spend many years sober, then walk into a bar and have all those sensations, urges and anxieties rushing back. I think it goes to show you that no matter how long you've stayed away from the thing, if you directly put yourself in harms way of the thing itself, regardless of how much you consume or if you consume at all, it's counter productive. One doesn't even need to watch porn itself, but if you're going back to the websites or sites associated with porn, then that's essentially choosing porn.

Here's this for an analogy:

It's like you've come to a point where a stoplight is out, and there's a cop directing traffic in only 2 directions: straight ahead (rebooting), which is the path you're currently riding and is considerably long but in reasonable condition, or the shortcut (porn), which is obviously short but the road is rougher. Both roads take you to the same location (sexual stimulation/satisfaction), but one gets you there faster. The cops have blocked off the shortcut with barriers and are directing cars to go straight ahead, and as far as the people know the shortcut has been closed for a long time.

Then all of a sudden, the cops decide to start letting cars use the shortcut. They remove the barriers, but don't block off the longer route, and all of a sudden every car wants to turn onto the shortcut, because it's obviously shorter, and it's worth the risk of riding the rougher road to get to where you want to be faster. The cops only let a handful of cars go through, though, then block off the barrier once more. But now, all the cars behind those ones are made aware that there's this shorter road that *can* be used to get to this location.

So while the cops attempt to direct traffic once more on the longer road, every subsequent car crawls to a halt at their feet and asks "Hey, that other road was just open, why can't we use that one?", and they may even beg "Could you please open that road for me? I need to get there really fast!", but the cops have to explain the situation to each and every one of those cars that saw that road open, which brings the flow of traffic to a miserable standstill. Then once all those cars have pleaded their case and begrudgingly continued on the longer path, the flow of traffic over time eventually returns to normal.

The question is, is it ever a good idea to open those barriers or put yourself through that test, even just for a short while? The answer is a resounding no, because in a situation like porn addiction or recovering from PIED, to let your brain think there's more options than the one is dangerous, because once that seed is planted it has the potential to grow bigger. You need to know that there is the one and only one path to take to recovery, and while it may take a bit longer the drive will definitely be smoother in the long run.
 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
good point Kubrick316. I was really disappointed that the sex that had been getting better was a limp dick affair and when I finally did manage to squeeze it in, it ended in premature ejaculation. Just the night before we had a good 10 to 15 min session where I hadn't lost my erection. So yeah, this has to be taken seriously. Why, oh why is this so hard?
 
I think it's because, unless we're completely better or in a flatline, we're gonna be stuck in this limbo where we know that we're not 100% (maybe even good enough to have sex, though), but at the same time all these urges, whether masked by porn addiction or natural desire for sex, are still surging through us.

It's great that you have a girl to help you out along the way, but as you experienced the other day it led to a chaser effect, which then led back to porn. And yeah...that's tough. What's a guy supposed to do when he's feeling horny? Sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and push through until the feeling subsides. I personally don't have any real desires to look at porn, but I'm struggling to shut out M, and when you're feeling horny it's like being kicked in the gut repeatedly until crying "I surrender!"

I think as long as we keep our eye on what we're working towards and how satisfying it's going to be when we get there, it'll make avoiding porn that much easier.
 

arahant

Active Member
Interesting topic.
I think exposure to sensual images can be detrimental to recovery too, even if short and unintended.
That's why staying on chat apps like tinder or wechat can be very dangerous.
Yesterday evening I was stressed and horny and I browsed tinder and reinstalled wechat to find some girls to chat with.
Even if I didn't chat about sexual situations explicitly, I feel that just browsing many photos of beautiful girls, sometimes in sexy poses, really didn't help my recovery.
I will uninstall these apps and be more careful in the future. I didn't masturbate at all, and neither I thought about the possibility of doing it.
I need to target directly my feelings of loneliness and anxiety.
 
Top