Just needed some good wishes and support

rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
DAY-100

Hello guys! How are you all.
So I just reached 100 days.
I can't tell you how proud I am of this streak.
I actually wanted to post this on 90 days but the headaches back then was really terrible and didn't feel like doing anything so writing now. Haha..

So yeah life is pretty good. I can now finally go and talk to people. Meaningful convo with friends and family. I went out and did some important stuff which I believe I could never have done if i was in that gutter. Started a business which i believe will be beneficial in the long run jut starting to take baby steps right now. Well that's it nothing much to say.

Whatever has to happen in your life will happen. I tried so hard for years for this. Never really I could have a ray of hope in years. So much hardwork so much pain and back then i  thought all this was for vain. But that is what was building my resistance slowly and steadily. Now I think maybe i had to go through all that experiences to come out of it better, bigger and successful.

Well this is no success for me friends, much has been lost in this war. Much sacrifices. People,friends,family,relationships, promises all broken . Only misery and sorrow all along the way. As you all know my target is not 90 days its 540 days so i am eyeing that rn. Hopefully I will be truly able to post in the success story of this forum when i reach that. I think this is it. I will definitely reach there and would post there very soon. 100 days in so small thing and i am happy about it. Whatever the x no of days i will always be proud of myself. And this juncture of time i ask myself if i fail again, I relapse, would i be able to get up again, to have the courage to fight this, and the answer is a very ambiguous one. Not one I am proud of . You know after reaching here with almost no mistakes i think maybe i could make it to the peak all over again. But its not that. I think i have had my war with this. This is it. All the loss that could have done is done. Now this chapter in my life has to end. I have to move forward from this and do better things with my life. Or simply sit at one corner and enjoy the clouds passing or simply live.

You will make it one day. Keep trying. Much love.
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
DAY-125

Hello guys! How are you all..
I hope you have been doing absolutely fantastic..
so yes i have reached 125 days my god just breached my record...never thought that in my life such a feat was possible. All I want now is recovery, a permanent and lasting recovery.
Well whats good news is I have joined social media this week and it is not really all that bad keeps me kind of accountable and I want to do better as a person of the society and be part of that larger circle. Well I think what is really a problem for a pmo addict is we tend to just ignore the society around us the world around us and create a semi world in which everything is perfectly fine and we can have an infinite supply of dopamine. well that's it from my side peace and enjoy.

Much love.
 
L

lerxst2112

Member
No no no rohit. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for brother. You went like FOUR MONTHS!
This is not a step back it's a small bump in the road. I never liked the whole idea of having to reset the counter and being back to square one. Your streak was a victory. Don't let that bump become a block in the road. Time to press on and resume the victory walk. Great job and godspeed.
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
lerxst2112 said:
No no no rohit. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for brother. You went like FOUR MONTHS!
This is not a step back it's a small bump in the road. I never liked the whole idea of having to reset the counter and being back to square one. Your streak was a victory. Don't let that bump become a block in the road. Time to press on and resume the victory walk. Great job and godspeed.
Click to expand...

You are so inspiring brother! Thank you so much! ?

I am in good mood and all but somehow something doesnot feel quite right brother.Feels like with each passing day the addiction is getting bigger and bigger and i am slipping into its cage.
You have these big plans and all and suddenly a storm comes and takes it all away.
Just want to lead a normal either fail or succeed but give my best. 
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
DAY-30

I woke up again today. Preparing for one more journey. One more exciting destination. When you make big streaks relapses are the hardest. It is like you are in an aeroplane and it is just a free fall from there. Unlike that scenario once you fall we are still alive in this process of no fap and fortunately or unfortunately we have to get up one more time still have to wake up the next day. Take care of affairs and still hide from sane people in the society and make them believe everything is alright! To be part of friends family even though we are not we are hiding something deep within us that is making us heavy deep down. Nevertheless, we work hard , we fight, we cry, we smile,but we never back out.

We are fucking fighters. We will win. We will conquer. So yes i started the journey again i am also counting the relapses i made as negative days so i have gone more than this but my relapses were also extremely high. So high till a point of near death. My body just limping for months i just wake up eat and sleep on the bed. Also because of corona i just slept through days. Now i am back to sanity and building myself back slowly again. Started exercising , started dreaming about six packs again. Also meditations
started, walking up early. Will start walking at night also soon. Just had this doubt if i can make a six pack in home workouts only. Not in a mood to join gym because of time constraints,also my body is weakest now maybe i will build the body in 1-2 months then join gym again. My blood pressure went rooftop 3 days ago and there was enormous pain in my head
felt like the nerves will blast but this time though i did not wait and take it. I just took the medicines for headache. Sometimes it is just not possible to control it naturally and its best to take medical help. it was (155/94 mmHg) for no reason at all.

Every time i come here i come here with hope, that maybe maybe someday i will break through this. and all this writings all this posts will be a path to success where others can walk upon and get freedom.

P.S- Also started playing guitar
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
DAy-60

Can I do it or can I not?
Is it a divine destination or a lousy conspiracy.
I know not.

Exercising for 6 pack abs, Meditation everyday, socializing, keeping busy, learning to drive i think i am getting good at it. Buying a new car actually. Hung out with two of my school girl friends in about first time in 20 fucking years. Was confident around them little bit showing off and little anxiety did creep in. Still had a strong character. Started a company with a friend and it really going good.

And the fear still remains what if;
what if i fall from here could i stand back again on my feet, could i?
 
Do or die

Do or die

Respected Member
I relapsed after 110 days of reboot. But I think it never set you back. The time you give for your brain to rewire is important. After a reboot your will power increases. And the will power is also good after such good reboot. Just make a relapse handling plan for it. I mean if you relapsed one time after such reboot, just make it only one relapse. Never enter in that addiction cycle again.
Ok keep going you are doing very well .
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
Do or die said:
I relapsed after 110 days of reboot. But I think it never set you back. The time you give for your brain to rewire is important. After a reboot your will power increases. And the will power is also good after such good reboot. Just make a relapse handling plan for it. I mean if you relapsed one time after such reboot, just make it only one relapse. Never enter in that addiction cycle again.
Ok keep going you are doing very well .
Click to expand...

I don't know bro for me it feels like after every reboot my will power is just getting weaker and weaker in the long run. For instance when i was a kid and started fapping i was satisfied with only 1 fap session gradually in the process of repeated loop 2 times in one go and then 3 times. Now whenever i relapse i go upto a minimum of 18 19 times in 1 go. And nearly a month is destroyed in this process. by relapsing upto 30 times in a  month and then waiting for recovery. So I think to make it out of this in 1 go is so important.
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
DAY-90

So reached 90 days again bois. Was very close to a relapse some days ago. was watching peaky blinders recently and that is where it hit me. I was tired and should have slept but kept on searching for more. and eventually was searching for more po** with great story lines.
Nothing but I was just justifying my stupid behaviors.  Thankfully i don't know by the grace of god at that moment my teacher from new college called and I was saved partially.

Feeling a little bit of female attraction i know I maybe wrong or it can just be a feeling. But when you are in no fap it is just so that you are more reliable as a person. So irrespective of gender people trust you, people want to spend time with you. Well Nevertheless, you should go out there meet new people make mistakes and get rejected. That is the only way to create any meaningful human interaction.

For me digestion problems have now become really a major issue. Even though i don't have junks that often.  In the morning it really has been a headache. Feeling constipated every now and then. I am burning now close to 450 calories daily by walking and exercise. For nearly 2 months I have been working on my body but didn't loose a single kg. I am 80kg now. An recovering fitness enthusiast please help me. How can i loose weight fast for a six pack abs.  My strength is definitely increasing but i don't see any change on scale or my tummy.

Hope you guys have been doing fine.
Do recover as soon as possible.
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Hi @rohit6223 I just read your entire your journal, it has really touched me since I can relate so well with it. Please DON'T GIVE UP, GET UP AGAIN, AND KEEP FIGHTING!!! Best wishes from Canada!!!

p.s. would you like to be an accountability partner with me? I will help you and motivate you while you can do the same for me! I've just started my first reboot today (am on Day 1 right now).
 
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rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
That is so nice to hear bro! I am still fighting and back on day-110 today did not check much on this website because you know on the initial days it really holds you in your neck and is quite suffocating. The same thoughts revolving around your head. Let me know what day you are on bro....Much love, keep healing change your life.
JacobiThetaFunction said:
Hi @rohit6223 I just read your entire your journal, it has really touched me since I can relate so well with it. Please DON'T GIVE UP, GET UP AGAIN, AND KEEP FIGHTING!!! Best wishes from Canada!!!

p.s. would you like to be an accountability partner with me? I will help you and motivate you while you can do the same for me! I've just started my first reboot today (am on Day 1 right now).
Click to expand...
 
rohit6223

rohit6223

Member
DAY-117

Hello people!

Obviously I haven't quit my dear bros. I cant quit. Back on track again. I usually see guys try nofap for 1 or 2 days, weeks, months and they quit thinking all this is bull shit. They think this is some kind of religious bs that is going on and is going to ruin their lives. Well it is ruining their lives just the other way round haha.

Personally I have been on this journey for nearly 8 years now, i am not saying everyone needs this much time, some people get recovered on the first streak itself and never look back. There are other normal people like me who needs this much time haha. Therefore keep the fight on. At least on your death bed you won't regret being broke and not trying, if only I had tried once more.

Mind, body and relations

I have clear and vivid thought process now. Absolutely free from "PM" thoughts. Would not say my crystal clear imaginative process or photographic memory that I once had has returned but it is much better than i started.

I am exercising 5 days a week now. I feel amazing meditating like usual and also going for walks. I believe these are minor but very effective steps that don't create the urge in itself.


Quoting Albert Einstein: “A clever person solves a problem; a wise person avoids it.”


Therefore in many circumstances what I have seen is once you know when you get into that red zone,
you have slipped or edged and now you know you are fighting. No matter how strong you are 98% of the time you will fail.
So to avoid that successful people create strong habits they sleep early, they wake up early, they have solid morning routines, they socialize and they keep busy.



For the first time in my life I can proudly say that I have a girlfriend who loves me dearly. I dont know folks how much this is true but when a woman truly loves u she can change your life. I can also attribute this streak to her as whenever i needed her she was there. Her love felt like the first rain earth receives after long years of drought. After coming into this addiction , the only desire that deeply grows in us is the desire to be wanted. Almost like a void that never fills. The desire to be loved for we are. I am honestly so thankful to her for making me feel this way.

Not only that,
A girl who I had a rock solid crush on in college days. Actually approached me and said she also loved me and only if i had played a move she would have happily said yes. Well we can attribute this to the no fap charisma if we may, but let me remind you i have been doing this for years. So even if you relapse it doesn't all go away it all adds up slowly by bits and pieces. Change is slow but long lasting.

Don't create your validation from anyone's acceptance. But for the people who are still searching for answers. Here is a pro tip i got after years of rejection and pain, absolutely free.

"The love of a purposeful man, ignites fires of attractiveness in an woman".

So keep working and add value to people's lives, don't be a beggar begging for everything.


"When the flower blossoms, the bees will come."
 
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