Hocd/gay porn?

Icetiger100

New Member
Hi I'm 17 years old, and I've been watching porn almost everyday ever since I was about 11 or 12.  Around last year lesbian and straight porn wasn't doing much for me anymore. So I started to watch things like granny and beastiality porn, but for some reason.....me watching those things didn't really faze me. The thing that really scared me was when I actually started to esculate to gay porn and ended up masturbating to it.....this was way back in August last year.....and ever since that time I guess you can say that I developed what's called HOCD......I've been obsessing over whether if I'm gay or not all because of that time I masturbated to that gay porno. I can't even sleep at night anymore without thinking if I'm gay or not.

I've always loved girls and have always thought about girls and have even had wet dreams about some of the crushes Ive had at school.

I keep on watching gay porn over and over to see if I get a boner or not. Sometimes I even force myself to check out other guys to see if I'm gay or not.

About last month I had about 2 dreams (or nightmares) about me watching some random guy sticking a dildo in his butt (just thinking about that hurts my stomach) and another one about me actually forcing myself to watch gay porn. I was NOT aroused by any of those dreams fortunately.
What scares me is that I've heard some people say that once you have a gay dream then you're gay.....and that's been freaking me out.

Before this gay porn incident I NEVER ONCE had a sexual dream or thought about a another guy.....it was always women and it still kinda is....but now my attraction to women is like it's slowly fading thanks to this HOCD and gay porn crap.

I've also tried masturbating without porn while thinking about guys and I got nothing....but I can easily get an erection when I think about a girl.....but when I watch gay porn vids and tranny vids I can feel a little something? It's not a full on erection like I get with normal porn. But I a can feel a little something down there it scares the hell out of me. If I'm straight then I shouldn't feel anything right? Im pretty sure I'm straight, but this is giving me doubts. Is it my porn addition? HOCD?
 

Domitius

New Member
I was in a similar situation a while ago...

It's completely normal for you to have a reaction to anything of a sexual nature and it doesn't make you "gay".
Watching it once is just because you have never watched it before, and you want some new porn. Even if you did watch it regularly, it could
just be fetish and it wouldn't classify you as gay unless you started to think or act sexually beyond that porn.

You're just freaking yourself out. The only reason your thinking about it so much is because of the HOCD it's not bc your gay. You are probably addicted to porn and want to see new content that will spike your dopamine levels.
Try to understand that you were looking at the porn bc/ you wanted new content, and maybe that will ease the HOCD.

GL
 
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