This hasn't been easy...


I unfortunately don't have much time for a long-winded introduction, but felt compelled enough to register and put in my first post regarding my issues with PMO. I've been meaning to join Reboot Nation as contributor for a long time now, but I felt that I could fight this myself. But, unfortunately, I've proven myself wrong just this morning during a moment of weakness, as I have had too many times before.

I'm hoping that perhaps journaling my progression towards beating my addiction with PMO, and just MO'ing even, will help me with my struggle.

First off, I am actually 29 and half years old. I thought I'd join the 30-39 forum since I'm very close to that point of my life.  :D

My addiction to pornography may not be as severe as experienced by others, whose journals I've read in these forums, as I never really do break from my working hours to take a peek at nudies (to be honest, it has happened in the past, but very very rarely. Can't afford to lose my job over this non-sense, I have a mortgage and a family to support). Nonetheless, this is still an addiction that needs to be dealt with. My "moments of weakness" generally occur whenever I'm alone and bored at home, or away on the road in a hotel, where I'll either view porn videos online, or, something that I had been started as of recently which scares a little, browsing around and interacting on sex webcams sites.

I'm a very happily married man, and therefore this addiction must stop!

I have been addicted to pornography ever since my very early teen years, if not even before then (11-12 years old at the time, maybe). I had a friend whose father had a collection of Hustler magazine hidden in some cupboard in their main bathroom (a real piss poor attempt at getting them out of site I may add). There might even have been xxx videos in his house, but I can't remember. Whenever we'd go to his house for birthday parties, or just random sleepovers, we'd usually spend an hour or two rifling through these mags, getting our minds rotten with with some fairly extreme porn. That's pretty much how it all began. I guess another time, during my teen years, was when I was bicycling to a friend's house out in the country, and I happen to have stumbled upon a xxx mag that must've have been thrown out of a moving vehicle into a ditch, which I picked up and brought it to my friend's place. Ewwww, gross right? Well, during my teenage years, that was the equivalent of coming across a solid gold bar thrown to the side of the road.

There was a point where this had been a past time that maybe took place on a weekly basis once we got dial-up internet at home, to where, as of a several years ago (along with faster high speed internet), became a pretty much a daily occurrence. As of maybe a year ago, around the same time I got married, it has become a daily annoyance. Don't need a doctor tell me this, but I think it's official, I have PIED...

I have trying to give up PMO for about a year now, and I have trying to fight this by myself. I have read articles that I should probably inform my significant other about my addiction, and have her help me through my trial and tribulations. But I simply don't know how to do that, or how she even take the news that her husband has been looking at pornography. So, I'm hoping that going about it this way might help me with my struggles.

I will do my best, so that as of June 28th, 2014, I will never PMO ever again.

I will discuss more about my past in further postings, but for now, let the journey towards recovery begin!

If anybody has any questions, or any words of advice and/or encouragement, that would be greatly appreciated.



Good thinking brah! And good luck to you brah! Remember we are ALL going to make it brah! I mean FUCK this porn shit brah! Without it we are STRONG REAL MEN brah!