Rockit's Routine

[Rockit]

This is day zero.

I am tired of making excuses, and feeling sad and bitter about life.  I need to put in work, and this is what I will do.

I cried today, and I felt like I made progress.  I have noticed some improvements since I started NoFap/Rebooting, but I also notice I still have some really bad habits.

I am attempting to eliminate those bad habits, by replacing them with good ones.

One thing I have stopped doing, was holding myself accountable.  With some apps installed to keep track of specific habits, and a daily post on here, I'll be holding myself accountable. 

I will attempt to keep myself out of situations where I can fail.  If I have struggles, I will document them here and keep learning.

I will not be perfect.  I will not let that stop me from being better.

I will be better.

 

[Rockit]

Day Zero Recap:
Today has been a good, productive day. Going to continue working on being positive, work on mindfulness, and continue exercising. I was actively trying not to objectify people today, and it hit me how much I do it. Looking forward to "Day One" of this was tomorrow. This is going to be tough, but I am ready..
..to be better. Sleep well, everyone.

 

[Rockit]

Day One AM:
Continuing to feel motivated. I don't know how I will feel this afternoon as I get tired, but I am ready to be productive/stronger/active. Today will be a good day.

Be better.

 

[Rockit]

Day One PM:
What a great day.

I focused on myself the whole day. I focused on staying positive, did everything I could to stop fantasies when they happened, and was very active throughout the day. There was a time when I went to have a short nap today, and pornographic images went through my head -- and before I knew it, I found myself having to say my mantra out loud: "Be better." I followed it up with all the positives in my life, and I was able to focus on other stuff before finally falling asleep. Normally I nap for hours and hours. Today? Maybe an hour. I played sports, worked out, and I had enough energy for all of it.

I found myself going on Facebook subliminally, so that will be something I'll work on harder tomorrow. I'll check it once first thing in the morning, and that's it for the day. This was a really good day. I will do everything I can to make tomorrow just as good, if not better.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Rockit]

Day Two AM:
After I made last night's post, I remembered I forgot to mention my cold shower. It's funny, the anticipation is always worse than the event. I adored the shower, and I eagerly await my next one.

I slept pretty well last night and I honestly feel it was one of my best days ever. All because I chose to be better.

Today can and will be a good one too.

 

[Rockit]

Day Two PM:
Just won a poker tournament after having a rough go of it.  Tried to stay positive.  Seemed to work, even when I was getting unlucky.

I found myself ranting about work AT work, but as soon as I got home, I focused on other things.  I exercised, had my second cold shower, and enjoyed my evening.  Staying positive is a little tough at times, but I'm really noticing a difference.

I am a little concerned about how little sleep I am getting tonight, but I had a ton of fun.  I'll ensure I make napping tomorrow a priority.  After all, my willpower weakens when I am tired.

That being said, I will be better.  Two days successful since I started this journal/positivity thing, and I've gone with PMO for a week.  I've done as much as I can to eliminate my triggers/fantasies, and so far, so good.

Here's to being better again tomorrow.

 

[Rockit]

Day Three AM:
This is about two hours late, but I needed to get work done super fast this morning. I didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked, and I am concerned about my willpower today. I had trouble falling asleep yesterday due to fantasies/fatigue, but I got through it.

I am super tired and I will do whatever I can to ensure I get through today. I enjoy being positive and being better. This must and will continue.

 

[Rockit]

Day Three PM:
Today was the toughest day, bar none. I was super tired early today, and my brain was being terribly difficult. I went down for a nap this afternoon and slept three hours or so. I had a dream about PMO and stuff, and actually thought I relapsed. Strange dream.

Anyway, I realize sleep is important, so I am going to bed now. I want to make sure tomorrow is not as difficult as today was.

Must take steps to be better!

 

[Rockit]

Day Four AM:
This morning has been an early struggle. I'm dealing with a few negative attitudes, but I will do my best to not let it affect me. I want to stay positive.

I slept well last night, but I did lose my glasses/phone earlier this morning for about twenty minutes, and it was embarrassing when I found where they were. (Glasses on my face, for goodness sake). That being said, it could be worse. I won't complain.

Be better, Rockit! That's the goal today!

 

[Rockit]

Day Four PM:
Had a good chat with some friends today, and went to an event with some others. I slacked on my chores though, and as a result, I am getting into bed later than I'd like. I napped quite a bit today, and odds are I will tomorrow. On the plus side, this was the easiest say urge-wise.

On the negative side, I have to admit -- this is where mistakes have hit me in the past. I get too comfortable, and I slip up. This daily reflection is helping with that. Tomorrow, I will attempt to get a few chores done BEFORE I have my initial afternoon nap, and see what happens.

I hope you all are having a good day/night.

 

[Rockit]

Day Five AM:

Feeling really motivated today. I had trouble shutting my brain off about some stuff, but I am now physically shaking my head, saying "no, be better" and it is really helping.

I've been stressing over a drive I have to do for the first time this weekend, but I'm trying to stay positive. I also want to get chores done as soon as I get home.

 

[Rockit]

Day Five PM:

So far, so good. Got through an entire work week without PMO, and also stayed positive all week. I'm at my parents' place and visiting family for the weekend and I hope to make some major mental strides this weekend as well.

A short post today because I am going to bed early. I want to sleep well. I want to be better!

 

[Rockit]

Day Six AM:

I woke up early, ran out the door, and drive in a big city for the first time to volunteer at a con. What a successful day. I'm disappointed I didn't post this in the morning, but I worked hard to avoid gazing/fantasizing, and I really enjoyed today so far. I'll post something else tonight before sleeps.

 

[Rockit]

Day Six PM:

Staying at my sister's place out of town has helped keep things in perspective. Seeing family is awesome. That being said, I wonder how things will be when I am along at home on the following weekends. I'm trying to keep things one day at a time but I am tired and it is tough.

Not giving up -- I will continue to be better. Keep fighting!

 

[Rockit]

Day Seven AM:

This past two days, I have gone to bed a little later, and I've woken up a little later. I like being able to spend time with people and then go to bed and waking up at 8am. I'm going to file that info away.

I'm starting to dread work tomorrow, but my goal is to focus on today. I have one more day before I go back to work and I want to enjoy it. Since I have been hanging out with friends and family, I've noticed my urges have died down a bit. Whenever I see an attractive person, I immediately remember not to objectify them. So far, I'm good to go. Must stay positive, must stay vigilant.

 

[Rockit]

Day Seven PM:

This was a really good week. Forcing myself to be positive worked really well. I enjoyed it a lot. I found myself giving a few girls a double look, but I would immediately tell myself to "be better", and I would quickly divert my eyes. Unfortunately, where I was, girls were wearing some skimpy clothing which made it tougher. Today was a good test, and I feel I did okay.

This week could be a lot more stressful than last week, but I'll give it a chance. If work sucks, it gets eight hours of my time, and that's it. I'm not taking my work home with me anymore. . Sleep time, I hope you all have a good night!

 

[Rockit]

Day Eight AM:

The start of another new week. I am exhausted, running off 4.5 hours of sleep. I really need to cut back on this as much as possible. I feel okay now, but when I nap in the afternoon, I struggle more to fall asleep when I am that tired. I need to be vigilant today. No being negative, no letting the mind wander.

After work, I plan to be a bit more active since this weekend was more about fun with family. Eager to be active again!

 

[Rockit]

Day 8 PM:

I started counting calories yesterday, and I was super off my goal. Today? I was a thousand over. I put in a lot of exercise too, but still. I was surprised to learn how many bad calories I had today.

Had trouble keeping work off my mind tonight as my boss kept contacting me outside of work, but now that I will remember not to respond, I'm sure I'll be okay. I initially responded because I had just woken up from a nap, and was groggy. I had forgotten what I had decided!

Well, onto tomorrow. Lots of stress/drama could happen at work this week, but hey. We shall see what happens! Not going to dwell on it outside of work.

 

[Rockit]

Day 9 AM:

Another night of little sleep -- I really need to make a habit of going to bed earlier. I'm not digging how weak I feel in the morning when I don't sleep a lot. I will be looking to get to bed a tad earlier.

Also, it's clear I need to get chores done much earlier. Waiting until the last minute is a terrible idea.

Here is to another positive day!!

 

[Rockit]

Day 9 PM:

Looking at a few stressful days ahead, but I am focusing on my first-ever vacation coming next week. All I have to do is get through to Thursday, and I can forget about the stress.

Been having trouble staying positive when some minor frustrations hit, but I have noticed fewer urges/fewer fantasies hitting, which is a huge plus. I don't anticipate this lasting for long, so I need to keep refocusing/reflecting on what I am trying to do. Getting to bed a little earlier tonight should help too. Hope you all enjoy your evening!