tay97
Active Member
I (m,25) am starting a new journal after struggling with P. for months. There were days and weeks when I lived my life successfully, but in the end I always came back to the rot. I want that part of my brain to go away.
I am bi, and a big part of my sexual history and my P. story has to do with the denial of my sexuality. In recent years I have embraced it and had a few sexual encounters with male and female partners my age (ED problems with woman). Each time I felt empty inside and wished for something meaningful.
I use P-material to cover up the lack of a social life. I have 0 friends rn. People say I am pretty goodlooking with a great sense of humor and charming, and I am confidant to agree but I just always struggled to bond with people on a deeper level. Idk, if this is because of P or not. I also never had a serious relationship. I don't know what it feels like to be loved by someone else other than family.
I want companionship, friendship, and intimacy in my life. So, I got to work on this addiction. Day 0 of this new stage of my life.
I dedicate this to my little brother who is 4 years younger than me. When we were younger, I was proud to be something of a role model for him. He saw in me a strong, confidant man. Today I feel like an egoistic looser who masturbates to pixels and fake people to cover up his failings in life. I want to be the person he thought I was.
I am bi, and a big part of my sexual history and my P. story has to do with the denial of my sexuality. In recent years I have embraced it and had a few sexual encounters with male and female partners my age (ED problems with woman). Each time I felt empty inside and wished for something meaningful.
I use P-material to cover up the lack of a social life. I have 0 friends rn. People say I am pretty goodlooking with a great sense of humor and charming, and I am confidant to agree but I just always struggled to bond with people on a deeper level. Idk, if this is because of P or not. I also never had a serious relationship. I don't know what it feels like to be loved by someone else other than family.
I want companionship, friendship, and intimacy in my life. So, I got to work on this addiction. Day 0 of this new stage of my life.
I dedicate this to my little brother who is 4 years younger than me. When we were younger, I was proud to be something of a role model for him. He saw in me a strong, confidant man. Today I feel like an egoistic looser who masturbates to pixels and fake people to cover up his failings in life. I want to be the person he thought I was.
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