Recent content by nmmfm

I've achieved some cool things - I've recorded drums on a couple of cool albums, I've been in a couple of fairly successful local bands, I managed to graduate with a computer science degree (although it took me much longer that it was meant to, and I was depressed and in turmoil for most of it)...

Can I tell you how it is? I feel I need help. I've been stuck for so long in the same kind of unproductive, unhappy pattern and I want a way out of this cycle. When I have time to myself I don't know how to spend it wisely at home. Before I know it I'm jerking off compulsively. And I mean...

How's it going?

Day 8 ❌ (9-3-2022) Wanted to test my boner cos I was worried I had bad finasteride side-effects. Watched porn. Wasn't a great erection so I was worried. Day 9 ❌ (10-3-2022) Watched porn and jerked off and I was horny and really hard so that at least puts my mind at rest about bad...

Day 7 ✅ (8-3-2022) How am I? Tired. Neutral. A little stressed out because this evening I went out with a date and ended up running into another date. Tomorrow I want to have a good day, prioritising exercise, chores, work I need to get done, and a little bit of fun at the end of the day.

It bothers me that I'm often not able to keep my erection like I imagine other guys are. I'm skeptical that the cause is too much jerking off/porn in my life. It's interested to read Gabe Deem's story. I am skeptical of the whole rebooting idea - that if I continue to abstain from PMO for...

Day 6 ✅ (7-3-2022, written 8-3-2022) How am I? I'm ok I think. A little 'dead' feeling, which can sometimes feel cool - in this case I think it's because I got laid last night, and so I had an unexpectedly late night. I can still smell her on my clothes. The water at home today wasn't...

Day 5 ✅ (posting retroactively) How am I? Pretty good. Still not fully happy with my hair but hey it's not too looking too bad. I like that I've been busy with work that I find meaningful. Planning to have a full day, ideally with collaborations with others so that I'm accountable, getting...

Honestly I think this is a false equivalence. Sure, fucking your sex toy might be more similar to sex than hand masturbation, but sex is still very different. There are many factors to being turned on ... both in sex and in masturbation. I wouldn't be so quick to assume that you have PIED...

Chasing girls, chasing satisfaction ... why can't I just be satisfied with the here and now, with what I've got? Why do I feel the need to fall in love with somebody? I need to remind myself: nothing external will ever truly complete me in any stable way. For the first time in this streak I'm...

Day 4 ✅ Feeling a bit sad tonight. At the party, I was interested in three girls, and I think I had a good chance with at least two of them, but I guess I was a pig; I didn't 'commit' to any particular person and ended up going home alone. :( To make matters worse, my ex/heartbreaker showed...

Day 3 ✅ How am I? Tired. It's late at night. I'm a bit anxious about having a good day tomorrow - it's going to be a busy one. I'm anxious about a girl I'm supposed to be meeting at a party at night - there'll be other guys there, there'll be friends/acquaintances - I want to kiss this...

Have dating apps ever worked for you before? How do they make you feel? Personally, I find them depressing. Too low a success rate. I've sworn off them. I prefer it this way - I'm more likely to hit on the women around me, and I think I'm more successful this way. And even if I don't "get...

I like the way you write: simple and straight to the point. I will be following your journal! I am rooting for you. Will you cut out masturbation too or just porn?

Day 2 ✅ How am I? A little tired at the moment, and my neck aches a little after all the work tonight. A bit anxious about getting a good day of work in tomorrow without feeling like I want to grind against my own authority. This morning I was lazy - it was cold and I stayed under the...