Recent content by lightspear42

Day 3: I have had a few urges to go back but I have done pretty good so far. The day has been stressful at work and I am hoping that I can keep my head about me so that I can alert those who I need to in order to stay clean.

I had a relapse. I felt the urges building but I don't think I did enough to fight them off. So, let's count today as day 1.

Dang it I am getting waves of temptation to go back on the death cycle. It's so easy but so destructive. I am talking to my wife about it and that is helping but everything that I do to offset this temptation seems to have an effective duration and when that effectiveness wears off I am back to...

Reboot Day 8: Mondays are the hardest for me in this battle. Right when I woke up I felt the urge to look. But I look on this forum instead and it seems to be helping for now. So I am off to a rough start for the week.

As the morning progresses I am finding myself with ever increasing amounts of temptation just floating in the back of my mind. I am not alone but the thought to go somewhere and seek out the starting points in the cycle are just popping up out of the blue. I talked to my wife and told her I was...

Reboot Day 7: It's been kinda of a harder day than I have historically had on weekends. I am struggling with the PMO desires trying to press themselves on me as just fantasizing. Though I have not look at anything a couple of times I got close to trying. Even while I was going to this website I...

Reboot Day 6: The day is starting off well and I shouldn't have a problem today with the plans that we have. Last night went well too. It feels amazing to actually feel like there is hope that I can stay off the death cycle.

Reboot Day 5: The morning is going really well. I am not tempted and work is going at a steady clip. I pray that I will stay focused today so I can avoid the trigger of boredom. Yesterday was also pretty good going into the evening. If I can make it through today I should be good across the...

After lunch I am facing some stronger urges. So I came here to read others stories and to post about my temptation. I am hoping that with this I can short circuit the beginning of the cycle that is trying to reassert itself onto me.

Reboot Day 4: Not a bad start overall. I have a few urges but I believe they are under control for the most part. Of course, that is when the more intense urges can get me. I will have to be on the look out for traps throughout the day. Also, I will have to be sure to talk to my wife should I...

Reboot Day 3: I have had a few urges to go back to PMO but this morning has been good so far. But I have been getting frustrated lately. I am not sure if it is only work, which has been stressful lately, or if walking away from PMO has also added to that. My wife got up with me this morning...

I think this day is shaping up to be pretty good overall. I am pretty free of temptation and the evening is looking promising!

You got this Zach! Don't be afraid to try and add an accountability partner to the mix if you can. That would help with the alone days for sure if you could call them up when you are struggling.

I may not be qualified to say anything here so forgive me if I am speaking out of turn. @Sammyjo I would like to take a moment and agree with you about P usage being a form of cheating. In my opinion, it is. Cheating is when one partner in a relationship breaks the agreement, implied or...

The morning and afternoon are going well so far. I feel that I have found my way into a period of quiet when it comes to the brain ruts trying to drive me back to PMO. I have been here before though. The lack of temptation feels wonderful but it never lasts. I might get a day, two days, one time...