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Yep, I know about the chaser effect. Dealt with it in the past. Not fun.

So, I was about to crash and burn. Even after some much needed release last night. I find it amazing how my biggest temptation is usually after sex. Almost like my system said "there's a bit left, need to take care of it". This morning, my wife went to our part time job (we work for a close...

I'm flying out next week, so hoping for one or 2 more "interactions" from here to there. But just the fact that she was in the mood, Pedro was excited. Progress, progress. Took me a long time to get to where I am, might take me a bit to get back, but it will be worth it.

One week left to go at the old job. Bittersweet. Especially since all the mechanics told me "Once you're gone, this shift is going to turn to crap. You're the only one that knows what's going on in parts, service, service calls, warranty, client spending limits....the rest of them, are either...

I was able to fight it for 6 months a few years ago. I know myself too well now. If the app is what I need, so be it. Especially once you pass the 1 week mark, the streak begins and hence some of the benefits.

Going on 2 weeks. I have to admit, if the software wasn't added on my PC today, I would likely take a plunge. Wife isn't feeling well. She's getting sharper and sharper with her tone. Scheduled blood tests for the end of the month to see if we find something abnormal.

First week is in the books with success. I saw a post from my wife, that's she's competing again April next year. These competitions have turned us into roommates. I hate it. Every minute of it. I hate what it's done to her mind, her body, her obsession with the sport. There are many, many...

I have considered it and brought it up. I have lots on the go between trying to fix my own self esteem (working on a book called Disciplines of a Godly Man, the gym, kicking this habit and TRT. I will shortly work on her.

Another day without viewing. Frustrations are there, but I told myself, even if nothing happens for another month, so be it. I need a mental cleanse (from addiction) and a mind reset from my wife's frustrations. Today, before going to work (I unfortunately work 7 days as week to make ends meet)...

Still no viewing. However, tonight was a very rough night. My wife is going through menopause (or trying to balance her hormones from her last bikini competition). We halfway cuddled on the couch watching a movie. Then when she suspected I was hoping to have intimacy (been a few weeks) she blew...

So Monday was my first in this journey with the help of an app. UNREAL the difference when you KNOW random screenshots are taken at random times and sent to your accountability partner. To be truthful, I'm not even tempted to look all that much. YES there are still moments when I want to cave...

So quick update, I got an offer from the company I was hoping would. Substantial increase compared to what I'm making now, all from home and dayshift - ish. This should help my wife with her sleep again. And this is over 48 hrs done without even any temptation. So far, the fact that my close...

Ok, so, I'm back, and now lots to update. I have been praying for a few things (no need to mention everything here, it would be a book). But, since the start of this month, 6 companies have reached out for a discussion. One of them, I don't have any experience, and the salary I would need from...

Well, only 1 day in the books, but still, it's a clean page. Discovered why my wife has been so uptight and angry. Has to do mainly with her parents (not a great relationship in the first place). Interview tomorrow, helping my in-laws move a couch today. Trying to get back into fitness...lots...

Ok, so coming back, tail between legs. That psychologist was too formal. She didn't change since the first time I met her a few years ago. I am setting an appointment with my pastor. For a few things. My marriage isn't on the rocks (yet), but once I set a few boundaries, it might be. I'm in the...

So, had my first meeting / appointment with a psychologist. We're both suspecting that I have been enabling my wife in her current behavior. Never putting my foot down with some boundaries, or some needs on my end (not just sex). Now it's going to be the challenge of re-establishing my own...

A bit of a background. I'm 100% on the same page you are. I have absolutely 0 doubt I'm part of the issue. I'm not shying away from it. She used to be anorexic and bulimic when she was a teen. She kind of grew out of it (I only found out about these issues after we were married. There was a...

Well, competition has been over since Oct 29th. Her anxiety is through the roof. My frustrations are just as high. I thought I was doing an ok poker face, but nope. Not anymore. Tonight, we were watching a show, and it had a sex game in it (completely surprised me) and I casually mentioned "it...

Time to take accountability. Not only struggling, but crashing and burning left and right. Wife is competing in her competition again. Down $3500 within a few months. Worked for extra income all summer (3 jobs) to pay for it. Her hormones are so bad she doesn't see that I support her this way...

I'm struggling, bad. I know all the ingredients. However, I can't seem to stick to the recipe myself. Time for myself to start posting daily. I'm also looking for a local psychologist, someone I have to look in the eye, either weekly or monthly to hold me accountable. I'm not going to give the...