using what I call Ulysses protocols is good, especially if you don t trust yourself enough. I call it Ulysses protocol in reference to the episode of the sirens. Ulysses and his men are going to pass by with their ship an island where there are sirens. Their voices and songs are so appealing and magic, that ships crash to their shores and men die or remain trapped there forever.
So Ulysses asks his men to put wax in their ears so that they won t hear the sirens. But he wants to hear them, cause he know they are fabulous, but he doesn't want to end up being trapped, and he knows he will cave in. So he sets himself up, he sets his futur self up. He ask his men to tie him to the mast and forbid them to release him under any circumstances. ^^
Regarding the death grip, I think it s quite real. Till I was like 24, i remember having awesome sex with my partners, plus as a teenager and afterwards, I almost never masturbated with my hand, but by rubbings against pillows. I only started with my hand when relying heavily on porn. I ve also read that one of the consequences is less sensitivity in the penis, so the combination must be devastating.
I don t worry that much about it, after more than 2 weeks with no PMO and almost a week with no MO, i ve already got the feeling that sensation are getting stronger. When i wake up with a boner, if my dick barely touches the sheets, it gives me already a lot of pleasure.
Last thing: I don't believe in free will . I know it seems " stupid " especially when one is trying to swing his life in the right direction etc but if you pay attention to neurology, you really start to see that what we call free will is BS.
We are the product of our circumstances, environnement, events in our lives etc. We are the authors of our actions, but we don't decide, it s not because you know what you are doing that you actually decided to do so.
How is this helping ? Well stop beating yourself up for you relapses, there were probably suppose to happen. Your life and your circumstances made that maybe you need to rockbottom before you can beat that addiction.
Now you ve got the experience, the guilt, the suffering, the support of your family, the goal, the solution, the tools, this community, etc, these are your circumstances now, these are the factors that will make your decisions ( unfortunately urges, past registered behaviors are also part of the equation ) .
What were our circumstances before ? Denial, pleasure, ignorance, no goals but our next dopamine boost, etc. Bottom line, this is a process, and you are now, way stronger than before and you will eventually prevail because now, you are really tired of this shit ^^
Strenght and resilience !
Have a great day
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