My Reboot Journal

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dfquitting

Member
14th July 2014,

Well I've decided porn is impacting my life, those endless hours of "edging" and PMO have to stop today! Yourbrainonporn has really helped me to see that and if anyone is thinking about quitting, watch the videos on there and maybe you will be as shocked as I was, by how bad porn is for you.

I found myself constantly looking for the next "best" porn when other stuff failed to arouse me, I even ended up watching gay porn and have even convinced myself im gay from this porn use. (if am am gay I have no problem, but addiction is certainly no state to decide that with). Chat rooms and cams were another problem of mine, fueling my false feelings of being wanted and so on. Over the past year I've felt myself become down on myself, angry at my addiction, not fully enjoying life the way I should.

I want to quit now more than ever, ive tried in the past but have failed. But with rebootnation now I think i'll have more luck.

Will keep this updated. Here's to a new me :)

 
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dfquitting

Member
well im nearly at 4 days and haven't felt better about myself. Im finding getting out instead of sitting in with nothing to do has really helped. haven't even had to MO. Temptation will probably set in really hard over the next few days just need to keep going.

 
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Promise

Well-Known Member
Keep going buddy!  If you're anything like me, your mood will go up and down.  If you start feeling distressed, just remember, PMO won't relieve your stress, it'll only prolongue it.  There are plenty of tips on Yourbrainonporn.com in case you become tempted!
 
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dfquitting

Member
So im up to 8 whole days without porn!

happy with my progress so far and im feeling better about myself already.

However I did MO twice during the week without porn, but maybe its better to MO without porn, than slipping back into porn itself.

 
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daedalus

Member
Hi dfquitting,

I really appreciate that you are realistic about yourself, and I think it's so much better to MO without the P.  For some people, it might be enabling, and for some people, it might not be.  You know yourself better than anyone.  I totally agree with your thoughts on sexuality.  I'm on the inverse side.  I know I'm gay, but in my quest to constantly find something better than the last, I often find myself venturing into straight P.  I have no doubt that most people are, to a certain extent, fluid in their desires.  However, it seems that when we have an addiction to P/PMO, it can actually hinder lead us away from really understanding ourselves.

I look forward to hearing more about your journey.  Keep up the good progress!

-Daedalus
 
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dfquitting

Member
And I fail 9 days into no P. :mad:

Im furious with myself, Ive just spent the last god knows how long on a binge, and as soon as i was done, i knew I let myself down.

Im going to try even harder this time, no M if i can help it, as i think it lead to me watching P. I now know it happened because I had way too much time to myself today, other days Id kept myself busy and not brought to laptop anywhere private, but today unfortunately I did.


Daedalus,
Thanks for your words of encouragement, sorry to say Ive failed since you replied, but now im more determined not to let P control me.  With regards to sexuality, yeah i believe what ever happens happens, but i dont want P to warp my visions of it!

Thanks again!
 
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daedalus

Member
Hey dfquitting,

I don't see that as a failure; it was merely a setback during a very difficult progress.  You made it 9 days, which is twice as far as I've gotten so far.  I can't even imagine what that point is like yet!  This time you will come back knowing yourself better, and that will make you so much stronger.  And if you feel the urge to give in, don't be afraid to share.  We're here on Reboot Nation to support each other!

-Daedalus
 
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dfquitting

Member
well ive had a terribe few days in PMO terms. finally got myself back here after binging for hours each day these last few days.

the fact that it only makes me feel worse about myself that ive slipped again, proves to me that i dont need/want porn in my life anymore. im restarting again , and im lucky because ill be away from the internet for the next few days so with a few "easy" days under my belt i can finally kick this addiction and start feeling better about myself and living my life the way it should be lived.

thanks again daedalus, relly helps to know im not the only one who is addicted to PMO and wasnts to get it out of my life!
 
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