Hi Doc. This is a cliche but...every journey starts with a first step. You have identified a problem, which is fantastic. A lot of guys don't know they have the problem. You have used the word "addiction", which is a huge first step. Before you craft a solution I suggest you study your problem, understand what it is. Although you conceive of your problem as a porn problem, it really is not. Porn and PMO are just buttons we push to get a dopamine high. Dopamine is a brain chemical in our brains' reward center. Best drug in the world. When we become addicted we are actually addicted to the release of dopamine. For porn addicts, a dopamine release and consequent high are automatic, see porn, get a dopamine high. Stimulus and response. A porn addict can choose to look at porn, but a porn addict has no choice but to get a dopamine high if porn is accessed.
The Gary Wilson vid is an excellent place to start, which is why Gabe posts it on the home page here. It is about 15 minutes. I suggest you watch it, and then watch it again. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_RIm9ZMN1I
I will tell you: don't panic, take a deep breath, and understand that you are going to have to put some work into beating this thing. It took you years to get to this place. With some hard work you can be back to normal in a few months. A lot of guys say 90 days, but it is give or take.
Also, it is OK to have some humility here. In fact, it is required. The biggest problem guys have in giving up porn is, obviously and sadly, they don't want to give up porn. But if you are porn addict fighting the addiction, there is only one way to beat it, you have to totally delete it from your life style, you cannot access it at all. This necessity by the way has no moral component, it is strictly about biology. What you are attempting to do is lower your dopamine soaked brain back to preporn levels. With younger guys this is even more difficult because many don't really have a brain that was not dopamine soaked--meaning from the moment puberty starting happening they were accessing porn, as opposed to the old fashioned real deal, human contact (sex).
It helps to have a reason to quit porn and you have two excellent reasons. First and most important you have love. You would die for her, no? Yes, I know you would. So let me put this in terms of sacrifice. Giving up dopamine addiction is going to feel like dying. You ARE going to suffer. No way around it. You will experience withdrawals, physical, mental, and emotional pain, that on some level will feel like dying. How long are you willing to experience that for love? I already know because I am in love too; you are willing to experience it forever if that is what it takes to save your love. You need to consciously prepare for the withdrawal period, which can last weeks to months, during which you will feel like hell. Once once past it though, it is past.
Your other reason is a great one too, you want to lose the ED. Once you rewire, you will.
Tools are helpful. Don't try it with will power alone. Install K9 now. Put obstacles between your problem and yourself. Not only does a good blocker help prevent you accessing porn (meaning help you not get a dopamine high) they serve as a reminder, a tap on the shoulder, that you are "a guy quitting porn." Remember, for the next few months, that is how you need to define yourself, "a guy quitting porn." Also, beware of traps and pitfalls. Porn is not just porn, it is any hypersexual thoughts you have that brings your dopamine up. So, try to develop, plan on, some method of distracting yourself from those thoughts when they inevitably arise in your head. Posting here is also helpful.
Good luck on your journey.
