DrOctopi
Member
Good afternoon all.
First of all, I am not a Doctor. I'm a chef. A doctor of food if you will. This is just my screen name. I only wrote that due to the topics being somewhat medical related. Just so there's no confusion.
Entry 1: Day 6
I am a 22 year old male, I work as a chef at a British pub/restaurant which is part of a chain. The job is stressful, or so I think, because I tend to get angry and stressed at work at times. But I now feel all this anger and stress may be something underlining.
I first discovered porn at a young age. An age young enough that I that porn existed, I was excited by it, but I didn't know what to do with it (if you know what I mean).
Obviously, word of mouth broke free when other boys in my schools were discovering the same things as I. That's when I learnt what porn was apparently for: Masturbating. And I haven't stopped since then, until now.
Fast forwarding to what made me make my decision, I'm going to take you back to a couple of months ago. Myself and my long term girlfriend were watching some Tedtalks, about any subject whatsoever and we came across some tedtalks about porn on your brain. That got me thinking at first that I may have an issue, because of the anger issues I had, even though I was not an angry person, the anxiety I had, even though I was once very confident, and my attitude to women.
But as any other person in denial, I shrugged it off and continued on the road of self destruction that is excessive use of porn.
Fast forwarding now to a few days ago, my girlfriend of 5 years who I love more than anything came across my search history and find it very worrying. The amount I was searching, clicking, searching, clicking and searching was an issue. The topics of what I was searching was an issue. And it hurt her a lot.
That was what made me realise that enough is enough. An action that I selfishly thought was so harmless has hurt the one I love more than anything that has happened in her life. It crushed her to think that she wasn't the only one on my mind. It crushed her to think that she wasn't good looking enough, or good enough in bed.
I know I can't do that to her again if I want to keep her in my life.
Luckily, I have had no symptoms of ED, but I want to stop everything before that even becomes an issue.
I made the decision on Thursday to reboot, so now it must be... day 6.
I must mention, my girlfriend actually works in the industry as a Web cam model. I don't see anything happening as she always does it when I'm at work, so all of our free time can coincide.
That's what makes this case a tiny bit interesting. How can I remove myself from the presence of porn? When it's all around me?
What I've done so far is look further into the issue. I've been reading articles, watching videos and listening to advice.
I've also confiscated my laptop, my Facebook, my Instagram, and anything that can be used for any form of artificial sexually pleasure from my life. I don't use my phone when I'm at home, and I don't need it at work.
It's early days, but things are going great!
First of all, I am not a Doctor. I'm a chef. A doctor of food if you will. This is just my screen name. I only wrote that due to the topics being somewhat medical related. Just so there's no confusion.
Entry 1: Day 6
I am a 22 year old male, I work as a chef at a British pub/restaurant which is part of a chain. The job is stressful, or so I think, because I tend to get angry and stressed at work at times. But I now feel all this anger and stress may be something underlining.
I first discovered porn at a young age. An age young enough that I that porn existed, I was excited by it, but I didn't know what to do with it (if you know what I mean).
Obviously, word of mouth broke free when other boys in my schools were discovering the same things as I. That's when I learnt what porn was apparently for: Masturbating. And I haven't stopped since then, until now.
Fast forwarding to what made me make my decision, I'm going to take you back to a couple of months ago. Myself and my long term girlfriend were watching some Tedtalks, about any subject whatsoever and we came across some tedtalks about porn on your brain. That got me thinking at first that I may have an issue, because of the anger issues I had, even though I was not an angry person, the anxiety I had, even though I was once very confident, and my attitude to women.
But as any other person in denial, I shrugged it off and continued on the road of self destruction that is excessive use of porn.
Fast forwarding now to a few days ago, my girlfriend of 5 years who I love more than anything came across my search history and find it very worrying. The amount I was searching, clicking, searching, clicking and searching was an issue. The topics of what I was searching was an issue. And it hurt her a lot.
That was what made me realise that enough is enough. An action that I selfishly thought was so harmless has hurt the one I love more than anything that has happened in her life. It crushed her to think that she wasn't the only one on my mind. It crushed her to think that she wasn't good looking enough, or good enough in bed.
I know I can't do that to her again if I want to keep her in my life.
Luckily, I have had no symptoms of ED, but I want to stop everything before that even becomes an issue.
I made the decision on Thursday to reboot, so now it must be... day 6.
I must mention, my girlfriend actually works in the industry as a Web cam model. I don't see anything happening as she always does it when I'm at work, so all of our free time can coincide.
That's what makes this case a tiny bit interesting. How can I remove myself from the presence of porn? When it's all around me?
What I've done so far is look further into the issue. I've been reading articles, watching videos and listening to advice.
I've also confiscated my laptop, my Facebook, my Instagram, and anything that can be used for any form of artificial sexually pleasure from my life. I don't use my phone when I'm at home, and I don't need it at work.
It's early days, but things are going great!
