My journey begins (once again)

[brayg]

I've just completed day 1 of noporn/fap once more. I'm tired of failing at this.

I'm 21yo. I had mild ED and delayed ejaculation a year ago. However after the end of the toxic relationship I was in I went all out and started binging on porn. I've gotten as far as 17 days abstinent earlier this year, which I broke with a binge. I've noticed I always break nofap when I'm depressed/ something bad happens. So part of all this is to take charge and face my problems the right way instead of going for a dopamine hit.

I realised too that I need help. I'm not strong enough to do this alone so I hope to find support here and help others as well.

 

[startinganew]

I can totally relate to you on relapsing when I'm feeling down. I used PMO as a coping mechanism. Porn became my solution to everything. I would make excuses telling myself that "I deserved it that day," or I was "just rewarding myself," but when it delayed the natural progression of a relationship I was in, and then I later found I couldn't even masturbate with out it, I started getting more serious about this. I would start writing down all the excuses you give yourself and some arguments against them. Really think about how porn has been affecting your life, and if its really worth it to go back. Maybe you can even keep these arguments next to your computer to remind yourself of why you are committed to this. Another thing is that because this is a conditioned habit, you will need to replace with something else. Write out a list of things you can do other than PMO and you will see that you have plenty of replacements. Instead of making yourself feel better with PMO, try exercise, reading a book, listening to music, meditating, whatever works for you. You don't have to feel bad about relapsing . It's how you bounce back that is going to make a difference. You are reforming good habits and it's a process. For me personally, I am just not considering porn an option. I would rather go back to MO than use porn, that's the worst case scenario. Always remember that quitting porn is the priority, and no MO speeds up the process of recovery. So, now is the time to start finding some new hobbies! 

 

[AdmiralAdama]

And I too can relate to resorting to PMO as a coping mechanism when I'm down or depressed.

The key is trying to find replacement activities, and from previous attempts at giving up PMO, it can be really difficult, because nothing at first matches the incredible highs you got from the screen pixels. You just have to remember that your brain and its chemical balances are adjusting back to how they should be.

It's all easier said than done, but you're starting the process, and that's a good thing my friend.