Hello guys?I?m ?T? and I?d like to start by saying that I feel so lucky to have found this forum. As you?ll all be aware, acknowledging that we have a problem is the first step to combating it. I?m a porn addict and have been since I was about 11 or 12 years old, at least that?s when I first started viewing it (I?m 35 now). I?m one of those guys who has suffered with this addiction for a long time and lost lots of potential relationships because of it.
I can only ?get off? to porn and have only ever been able to. I am 100% heterosexual but have suffered the confusion experienced by others in that I have doubted my sexuality due to the indignities inflicted by porn. There are many things that each of us have done that we regret while we were addicted to porn, myself included. I firmly believe that those of us who genuinely crave a ?proper? relationship with a woman often do our best (sometimes in a convoluted, unorthodox way) to ?get close? to them in a meaningful way.
My own ?method? (for want of a better word) is to chat to women (and ONLY women) in online chatrooms and ultimately ?come out? to them as gay. I will reiterate now that I am not gay and never have been ? I am 100% heterosexual. I only do this while masturbating and watching (straight) porn, fairly mild so far.
I have watched gay porn before a couple of times and find it an absolute turn-off and not something that I "want" at all. I wish I knew why this happens for sure, but I do believe that it is a misguided, somewhat subconscious strategy to get women to talk to me and ?be close? to them in a ?safe? way. Once I have ?come out? to them, no matter how lovely and friendly they are, I very rarely chat to them again as they have essentially ?served their purpose?.
I have had one relationship with a girl, from when I was 19 to 21. Since then I have been basically single although I have had a few opportunities and have always blown it by being angry, bitter and jealous, basically at my own inadequacies. I have never been able to orgasm through vaginal sex and although I was drunk when I finally lost my virginity (I was 19 with the girl mentioned above) I could not orgasm then either. I have been able to do so (a long time ago) through BJ and HJ with her but not without ?rougher? stimulation than you get with vaginal sex. I sometimes masturbate up to 5 times a day (though this is rare) but it is usually about 3 times a day.
I am not an ?ugly? man though I have very low self-esteem and have zero confidence with women although I don?t really have a problem chatting to them as long as they?re not a ?threat?. As soon as the possibility of ?going further? with a woman arises, I panic and freeze up and try and get away. I think that this is because I am anxious about erection/ejaculation (or lack of) problems and it is ?blocking? me in a way from going further.
My aim is to be able to ultimately get into a relationship with a woman and to attain the ability to have a proper and satisfying sexual relationship with her. I know that I cannot do this with porn in my life. I would be interested to know if anybody else has been in a similar situation to myself. I?m really looking forward to becoming part of this community and hopefully one of its success stories in the near future!
I can only ?get off? to porn and have only ever been able to. I am 100% heterosexual but have suffered the confusion experienced by others in that I have doubted my sexuality due to the indignities inflicted by porn. There are many things that each of us have done that we regret while we were addicted to porn, myself included. I firmly believe that those of us who genuinely crave a ?proper? relationship with a woman often do our best (sometimes in a convoluted, unorthodox way) to ?get close? to them in a meaningful way.
My own ?method? (for want of a better word) is to chat to women (and ONLY women) in online chatrooms and ultimately ?come out? to them as gay. I will reiterate now that I am not gay and never have been ? I am 100% heterosexual. I only do this while masturbating and watching (straight) porn, fairly mild so far.
I have watched gay porn before a couple of times and find it an absolute turn-off and not something that I "want" at all. I wish I knew why this happens for sure, but I do believe that it is a misguided, somewhat subconscious strategy to get women to talk to me and ?be close? to them in a ?safe? way. Once I have ?come out? to them, no matter how lovely and friendly they are, I very rarely chat to them again as they have essentially ?served their purpose?.
I have had one relationship with a girl, from when I was 19 to 21. Since then I have been basically single although I have had a few opportunities and have always blown it by being angry, bitter and jealous, basically at my own inadequacies. I have never been able to orgasm through vaginal sex and although I was drunk when I finally lost my virginity (I was 19 with the girl mentioned above) I could not orgasm then either. I have been able to do so (a long time ago) through BJ and HJ with her but not without ?rougher? stimulation than you get with vaginal sex. I sometimes masturbate up to 5 times a day (though this is rare) but it is usually about 3 times a day.
I am not an ?ugly? man though I have very low self-esteem and have zero confidence with women although I don?t really have a problem chatting to them as long as they?re not a ?threat?. As soon as the possibility of ?going further? with a woman arises, I panic and freeze up and try and get away. I think that this is because I am anxious about erection/ejaculation (or lack of) problems and it is ?blocking? me in a way from going further.
My aim is to be able to ultimately get into a relationship with a woman and to attain the ability to have a proper and satisfying sexual relationship with her. I know that I cannot do this with porn in my life. I would be interested to know if anybody else has been in a similar situation to myself. I?m really looking forward to becoming part of this community and hopefully one of its success stories in the near future!