While Rebooting/Rewiring, fantasies still surfacing?

[True2Myself]

Hi All,
I'm new to this site but SO glad I have found this wonderful resource.  I've read many posts here, and try to find the ones that help me with my urges, and triggers (if anyone has good links on this subject I would you please share them? 
I need all the help I can get!  (approx day 19 of PMO so I have a long way to go)

I know that I need to protect myself FROM myself with restrictions, porn blockers and locks, and have so far been successful with these as a deterrent just long enough to stop the urges.

The one thing I can't seem to stop however are these flashbacks or mini-fantasies that pop into my conscious side many times a day.  They never go into a full-blown sex scene, but more like a movie trailer, and enough to try to derail my progress.  Some of the thoughts are from real-life experiences, but most are linked to porn scenes I've watched over and over, so I know they are etched in my brain.  Also some of the flashback experiences I am able to extinguish almost immediately, but others just get going and are like a runaway train.  :-[

Has anybody else had the same kind of flashbacks, and if so... will they go away on their own, just taking longer or what?
Again, any methods you guys who get those urges use to push them out (until they don't come back) would be GREATLY appreciated! 
I am bound and determined that I am going to make this reboot and rewire work, but have been doing it so long, (40+ years) that I need some extra tools, and tips.
Thanks Ya'll 
Thanks

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ True2Myself

Has anybody else had the same kind of flashbacks, and if so... will they go away on their own, just taking longer or what?

Yes. Many rebooters report having porn related flashbacks, including me. They tend to become less frequent as time passes. There are two things you can try that helped me:

1 - Redirect your thoughts. When a flashback or porn thought pops into your head.

A) Grab a pen and paper and start writing about one of your favorite memories not related to anything sexual. Something I would think about is hitting a game winning shot in basketball. Be very specific and detailed. For my example I would picture the noises from the crowed, the energy in the gym, the look on my defenders face as I let the ball go, and the feeling of being tackled by my team after the buzzer went off. Focusing on detail will deeply engage your brain and might help replace those thoughts. B) and if you don't have a pen and paper, just try and remember all the details and think about them.

2- Evaluate the thoughts and don't fight it. When a flashback pops into your head, just acknowledge it for what it is... A memory that you no longer desire to dwell on. A past activity that you no longer want to engage in. Combine the flashback with the thought of the desensitizing and rewiring effect porn has on the brain. My thought was sometimes this "I'm glad I no longer watch porn like this clip I'm thinking about, because of how desensitizing it was to me and how it gave me a limp noodle with real girls..."

If I tell you not to think about a purple elephant you more than likely will picture a purple elephant. So don't fight the flash backs and thoughts just ride the wave of the thought until it naturally dies down while evaluating it. Or do option 1 and replace it.

Hope that helps.

 

[William]

Hi Truetomyself, just saw your post.  You asked the exact same question IWantItToStop asked, which I posted a reply to.  I am going to rip myself off and repost that reply here. 

By the way, everything Gabe says is true.  My approach is a little less analytical; I just focus on a brief mental or physical distraction to keep the one second flash from turning into a mini movie in my head.  Ok, repost:

Saw your post.  How to avoid thinking about it.  That is hard when first quitting because we put so much effort into quitting that we naturally think about it, and that gets us pretty close to thinking about what we don't want to think about.  You need to do something, plan on doing something, momentarily physically distracting to keep a one second flash in the head from turning into a prolonged fantasy.  Let me say this again, develop the technique now, so when the time comes to use it, you are not trying to make a technique up.  At this point, more than a year out, I don't experience those problems, but in the beginning, I did, all the time.  I made sure to never look at anything that triggers.  This means avoiding images in magazines, billboards, on the big and small screen.  For me, if a sex scene came up in a PG 13 movie, I would actually close my eyes.  So first thing in not thinking about it starts with not seeing it.  Also, those thoughts are inevitable, so I did something, probably sounds stupid, probably is stupid, but I developed a habit of "clicking" my tongue on the roof of my mouth while thinking "no".  The addiction is powerful, but, in actuality, it is fairly easy to come up with a little distraction that keeps a one second flash to one second.  Other people have suggested using a rubber band, wearing it on your wrist, and snapping it when that picture enters your mind.  Of course the obvious answer is stay busy doing other things, but you can still have thoughts when doing other things, so come up with a plan on what you are going to do to distract yourself when the thoughts creep in, and do it.  I will tell you that while it is very difficult in the beginning, in my case, it got seriously easier, about 6 weeks out, to avoid those thoughts.  I then went from having them multiple times a day, in the beginning, to being able to put days back to back to back without such a thought occurring.

Hope this helps.

Peace.