On this day, I return to '0'.
For the second time in a row I have masturbated on day 16. No porn involved.
I am not disappointed or mad at myself because each time I relapse I make discoveries.
After I relapsed today, I contemplated the situation. I realised that I had absolutely zero fulfilment from MO. What went through my head afterwards was, "that's it....really?"
I have been mentally documenting my behaviour throughout the process and notice I have huge spikes of sexual energy from about day 14. My brain works tirelessly to bring up sexual thoughts and desires for that hit of dopamine and eventually I cave.
There was a massive difference this time around; that being the complete lack of fulfilment. This is a bit of a wake up for me and is a stern reminder that I have to seek the fulfilment in worthwhile areas of my life.
Since my previous PMO I have started to learn French, have started doing meal preps (been going to the gym for nearly 2 years) have taken up painting and am looking at starting my own business.
I can't say that I won't relapse again, I can say that I have learnt so much each time I have....and that's all I can ask really.
The main reason I am not disappointed in relapsing is, I'm in this for the long haul. This isn't a 90 day fix for me, this is permanent. In order to make it permanent, I need the knowledge. I make sure I gain knowledge throughout every attempt.
That's what I would recommend to anyone kicking this habit. Do not get down on yourself, do not binge for the next few days; reflect on yourself, realise why you're doing this and start right back up again.
I look forward to the day I no longer count the days without PMO. I will smile on that day.
Here's to becoming the strongest versions of ourselves, gentlemen. Shout out to Elliott Hulse and a big thanks to Gabe Deem.
All the best.
Beau.
For the second time in a row I have masturbated on day 16. No porn involved.
I am not disappointed or mad at myself because each time I relapse I make discoveries.
After I relapsed today, I contemplated the situation. I realised that I had absolutely zero fulfilment from MO. What went through my head afterwards was, "that's it....really?"
I have been mentally documenting my behaviour throughout the process and notice I have huge spikes of sexual energy from about day 14. My brain works tirelessly to bring up sexual thoughts and desires for that hit of dopamine and eventually I cave.
There was a massive difference this time around; that being the complete lack of fulfilment. This is a bit of a wake up for me and is a stern reminder that I have to seek the fulfilment in worthwhile areas of my life.
Since my previous PMO I have started to learn French, have started doing meal preps (been going to the gym for nearly 2 years) have taken up painting and am looking at starting my own business.
I can't say that I won't relapse again, I can say that I have learnt so much each time I have....and that's all I can ask really.
The main reason I am not disappointed in relapsing is, I'm in this for the long haul. This isn't a 90 day fix for me, this is permanent. In order to make it permanent, I need the knowledge. I make sure I gain knowledge throughout every attempt.
That's what I would recommend to anyone kicking this habit. Do not get down on yourself, do not binge for the next few days; reflect on yourself, realise why you're doing this and start right back up again.
I look forward to the day I no longer count the days without PMO. I will smile on that day.
Here's to becoming the strongest versions of ourselves, gentlemen. Shout out to Elliott Hulse and a big thanks to Gabe Deem.
All the best.
Beau.