"Examination of My Conscience" My Reboot Journal

[openminded]

Hello,

It's really sad to tell this, but I've just broken my 9 days streak and relapsed :C
The things went too fast, I don't even know why I've done it.
I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now. I feel like asshole, like animal. I think I have strong depression right now.
I feel like I don't deserve for reading Steve Jobs biography.
I feel like I don't deserve for listening Porter Robinson new album.
I feel like I don't deserve for love from other people.
But...

"Don't Lose Your Faith"
I'm going to start it again, with some changes:
? Create TO-DO lists everyday;
? Stop thinking "I won't M" , Imma not focus about this problem
? Meditate daily
? Exercise daily
? Avoid everything which could lead my thoughts into danger zone
? Decide STRONG to stop PMO

I want to stop this pointless addiction, I want to be BETTER and BETTER everyday, BETTER than 99% population, Be artist, Achive success, Go to the best University, and write in "Success Stories" section !!!
Next post will be more detailed. See You in 3rd day of my reboot.
GL

PS,
It's my first post, I've been here for a while. I love this whole community, Your advices and stories. I feel inside that this time will be different. Really...
Feel free to comment

"The Harder You Fall, The Higher You Bounce"

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ openminded

"Don't Lose Your Faith" 
I'm going to start it again, with some changes:

Sounds like you're off to a good start. Learning from your mistakes and finding what works for you is essential for recovery. And your attitude can get you through this if you keep it... and don't lose faith.

Congrats on going 9 days! Now you know you can do that now do it again and go farther. You can do it. Understand that going without porn is not going to result in you missing out on pleasure, but it will result in you being able to experience more pleasure and joy than you ever had with porn.

Pursue love over lust.

And last thing I wanted to say is I really like that quote -

"The Harder You Fall, The Higher You Bounce"

Welcome to the Nation. We hope the best for you.

Much Love

 

[Androg]

You might find some useful tips here: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/i-relapsed-what-now

 

[openminded]

Hello Everyone !

How are You guys ? We meet again in 5th dayof my reboot. Hopefully, that five days were pretty smooth. I was thinking for a very long time about this whole PMO problem. And this is what I think now:

1)
I changed my signature, because my new target isn't abstinence from masturbation. Instead, I promisted my self that I won't never watch those ugly porns. I think this is real problem of many ppl here and obviously for me. I could try to reach 31 day without pmo, but what then ? Even if I will reach 100 days, I could go to chrome and start the party . I realised that I have to do sth different.

Who is your No. 1 enemy ? Who ? PORN !

So this time, instead of concentrate to reach the highest possible number of abstinence, I will focus on reach the lowest possible numer of M. It will be success if this number will be lower than 4. I won't watch porn, I won't watch pictures, I won't even fantasize.

2 ?The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.? ~Socrates

Peaople treat PMO as habit not as real addiction. They say: Ok, guys, I will try to do as many clean days as I can. And they think: Maybe after this things will back on their right track.

In the same time they blame P nad M for that they don't have girlfriend, that they have bad marks, that they don't follow their passions. They try to cut off PMO without changing anything else. Remember, porn is trap and it's your escape from reality. Change it.

This time I started from creating huge plan, I created goals, I made deadlines. Now I don't have even time to think about porn, cuz I plan every single day. By 31 August I will have completly changed my life.

3) Be Patient

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill

Let change our view about success. Do You guys know Angry Bird ? It's the most popular game in the world.
But what's mor important it's Rovio's 40th game. 40 ! They could give up earlier and never achive this !

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge,1872-1933,

4)

If You relapse... don't worry. I mean, take a look what I did in fisrt post. I was so angry for myself. This was so stupid.
Treat it as lesson. Think what You went wrong. Start next day with fresh, possitive view and try back on track.

5) How to kill the voices in Your head ?

Check out this picture:

GL, Thx for support

 

[openminded]

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.

~George Washington Carver

 

[openminded]

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

 

[openminded]

Hello Everyone ! How are You ?

I should have written more often, but honestly, I write another journal at the same time, for my self, in more traditional way.
So yep, I've tried to stop P and limit MO. But I have to say it's not enough. It's the best way to prove yourself that We're addicted to porn.
Since I've started fighting with pmo I've been better person. I changed the way I think. I focus more on progress. I've started learning coding and music composing. But it's not enough for me. Everytime I masturbated I felt like my mental and brain performance went down. I was less wise, have weak memory, even my family noticed this. It's so sad.

But...

I've realised that every moment, every day, every hour, every minute, secod, MATTERS! You can't wait for perfect moment.

Right now, My goal is reach 31 days without PMO. And this is my new counter:

1. DAY OF SILENCE: I turn off my self. Meditate twice for 10 minutes, Read some books, Avoid computer, avoid news, avoid radio, avoid everything. I focused on being more kind. I spent a lot of time on thinking about real me. I'm so lack of purpose. I can't decide what I want to reach. I remember my self from times when there wasn't porns in my life.

2. SPARK: I wrote all my bad and good habits. I've read some self-improvement blogs and right now I know what should I add to my life. I meditate twice for 10 minutes.

Meditation is so great! I feel much more alive after it. If You don't meditate, You should start it !!! Amazing feeling.

3. AWE: Third day is for me like last day of first step. Next step is 7 days I've book, listen a music a lot, start compose new track, drink 6 cups of green tea, read some self-improvement blogs.

Curiosity is my killer. I have to avoid everything, which can lead my thoughts into dangerous zones. I removed my tumblr, visit fb once a day, install anti porn extension, block news sites - they are full of erotic content.

"The Power of Habit" is great book to start changing your habits.

4. LION: Quick repetition:

?Benefits of quiting PMO:
-Increased self-confidence;
-Better mental condition;
-Spiritual purity;
-Increased motivation;
-Greater willingness to act;
-More attracted to girls;
-Increased productivity;
-The desire of becoming better and better;
-Improved memory;
-Fulfilling your dreams;
-Better health;
-Achieving success;
-Health;
-Energy;
-Concentration;

?What should I avoid ?
- lack of purpose;
- erotic pics (fb, instagram, tumblr, other sites);
- curiosity;
- loneliness;

5. EMPTY CANVAS: ---Day IN PROGRESS !habits, !routine-----!action


My goal is not to stop PMO, My Goal is to change my whole life, to be better and better, better than yesterday.
BE STRONG, SHOW COURAGE, AIM FOR GENIUS, STAY HUMBLE, EXUDE PASSION, ACT NOW, DON'T STOP, ADD STH TO WORLD !