Here we go again

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Can't believe I am doing this again, I all but beat my porn addiction ages ago but over the last few months I have had a few relapses and it has set me back big time. I think my girlfriend being on holiday with her family is what set me off yesterday when I fapped to porn, I used fake justifications in my head such as she won't be back for a week that is enough time for me to recover and bullshit like that. Anyway a little bit about me, I have ED and delayed ejaculation. My girlfriend is superhot and is always horny, I am not saying this as a bragging point I am illustrating that for a young 31 year old guy in good athletic shape this should be a dream come true. But due to porn I am very inconsistent and if she wasn't as hot as she is im pretty sure I would be totally limp all the time.

Today is Day 1, I quit the forums a while ago when I thought I had the problem beat. I will not be making that mistake again! Day 1 I feel ashamed of myself but at the same time very optimistic about the future, I have started using a program called stayfocusd that basically blocks internet access for as many hours as I want, this removes porn as an option for me because I have never been the kind of guy to go to a shop and buy porn or use it at someone elses house.

 

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Day Two: I am feeling fine, a little tired and lazy today but no desire to watch porn or masturbate. I am going away on holiday for two weeks with my girl on the 15th of September, the idea of being alone with her for two weeks is kind of scary to me. We love eachother deeply but it is going to be hard to be able to have sex often. I am planning on having sex but faking orgasm for the sake of my reboot, the longer I can go without orgasm the better for my reboot. Sometimes I can get erections sometimes I can't, I may be honest with her about this one day but I don't feel comfortable enough with myself yet to tell anyone.

 

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Had sex with my girlfriend twice last night, came the first time second time I went soft during sex. It is good progress but it is still very inconsistent, the second I get an erection I go for sex because I am sure I would lose it during foreplay if I don't.

 

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Had sex again last night and managed to stay hard for the duration of it, although I am not out of the woods yet. I haven't masturbated or watched porn for 9 days now and I am feeling pretty good.

 

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13 days and still haven't fapped, last time I had sex my erection was pretty strong but I am not feeling horny or craving sex. I don't feel horny or feel a need to get laid but when I do I am able to even though I am not getting as excited as I know I should. Still this is progress and I know this will come with time.

 

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Masturbated this morning, did not use porn or porn fantasy and got hard very easily. Haven't seen my girl in a few days needed a release. Should have resisted but I won't be resetting my counter because I did not watch porn, however I should have definitely tried harder to resist.

 

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Nothing much else to report, still haven't fapped and am finding this to be pretty easy. Let's hope things carry on this way.