dataguy journal

[Pheonix]

Hi DataGuy. I am a dataguy too. And I find a lot in common with your story. I use a spreadsheet to track PMO and MO. I don't know if this will end up being useful (because my goal is to completely eliminate both), but it makes me feel good to track things!

I also find that stress is a big trigger. PMO is one way I have self-medicated when stressed or depressed. Another way is with alcohol. Of course, alcohol use leads to depression, so I find there is a cycle of dependence between use of alcohol and pornography. Cutting out both at the same time is difficult, but will probably result in quicker recovery. I quit drinking at the same time I quit PMO (8 days ago) and have found my general mood and sleep quality much better.

Good luck!

 

[PMOVictory]

I don't want to take credit for what I say, however I'm glad that what I say can be helpful.
Glad that you have set the bar higher for yourself.
This is what it all should be about, keep on keeping on and setting our goals higher so that we can benefit from it.

I agree with the alcohol use, rather stick to the herbal remedies like the teas!

See if there are some of the stressfully things that you need to do the following weeks or so that you can actually delegate and just oversee. It might help to levitate the stress levels.

Stay strong and be Blessed!

 

[dataguy]

I can report another good day, with some shakiness.  My internet was out all day, (giant regional outage) and that was another stressor that could have been a trigger.  I've been rebooting for a bit over a week now, strong temptation is still there.  And I worked a lot today (I'm hosting a wedding in a week, big family thing, not one family member has offered to help prep other than my girlfriend (she's wonderful, my best motivation), their lack of offers to help is another stress element. 

Worked inside the house this morning, got really stressed by no-internet, decided to go for a bike ride, 20 miles on the bike and running a few errands while on the bike helped a lot.  Then a nap after the ride also helped, followed by a few hours working in the yard. 

I'm looking forward to having more time and energy to spend on productive things that I choose to do.

 

[PMOVictory]

You are doing great!

Keep it up

 

[rider654321]

Good on you dataguy you are doing great. 

With the family issue and the stress of doing everything yourself. Have you given any of your family members a call and asked for their help? Sometimes people don't think to offer if no one asks, as they interpret that as everything is under control?

Keep up the great progress.

 

[dataguy]

I'll report that I'm sleeping better and getting more done each day. 

 

[PMOVictory]

I'm happy for you!

You will see as you progress with the reboot how much more benefits you will become aware of.

The reward will be so significant. I keep on saying to myself why did I allow myself to suffer like this for 40 years. First with MO and later on P joined in. It does not mean that over these years I never wanted out! It's just there were so many attempts and for each there were the failures.

Now I look at everything with new eyes.

What a Blessing!

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!

 

[dataguy]

Yes, over the years there have been many decisions to stop, followed by re-entry into the same addictive behaviors.

Today was a tough day, I was really tired even though I slept pretty well last night, I've been hitting it pretty hard the past couple of days.  I worked some, took a couple naps, my girlfriend and I went out for supper this evening, now I'm relaxing in front of the tv, off to bed pretty soon and rest up for tomorrow. 

 

[rider654321]

It early days Dataguy.

Hang in there buddy. It gets a little easier every time you say "No" to the thoughts and triggers that arise. Its not an easy path but its a worthwhile one. 

 

[Jijnyasu]

Yeah, I think it's like Rider said. Keep thinking about where you're going. The trip may not be that much fun, but the destination will feel great. And every day you make it through, you win. Keep winning and don't give power to the beast.

 

[savingmysoul]

Dont give up what you want most for what you want today!

Stay strong, and it does get easier to be successful in the upcoming challenges.

 

[dataguy]

Hi All, thanks for the encouraging comments.  I've had a hectic hectic week; but a good week.  I'm online for the first time in about 4 or 5 days.  I had a couple days of internet outage, followed by a crescendo of activity getting ready for my nephew's wedding (in my backyard, in the rain).  I feel like a weight has been lifted by having that now behind me.

I'm still in the clean-up-and-put-things-away phase, and so it's not all completely over, but the pressure is off.  But this will be a short post this morning.

Also, a couple days ago at the height of preparation activity, I got a phone call sounding me out about the possibility of re-entering the work force (I am recently retired), so that is sort of a stressor.

I'm hoping to get on the bicycle later this morning for the first time in several days; cycling is my best stress-reliever.

 

[PMOVictory]

Well Dataguy you did it 15 days! Congratz!!

Now it is time to step it up, Reset that Counter, Stay PMO FREE!!!

You can do this!

Stay strong and be Blessed!

 

[dataguy]

Yes, I'm happy to have made it through day 15.  Today was a tough day, kind of a let down after the previous days' chaos and excitement.  I'm feeling some temptations this evening and they are difficult to resist.  So, I'm reading through some posts on this site and trying to stay positive.  I'm planning a bike ride for tomorrow as a reward to look forward to. 

 

[dataguy]

I thought I'd report that this was a stressful and tempting evening, but I got through it, partly with the idea that I didn't want to let down my friends and myself here on reboot nation.  I'm looking forward to a big ride tomorrow, and I did respond to the offer of re-entering the workforce, that yes, I might be interested, and am at least willing to meet and talk about the prospect.

 

[savingmysoul]

Grats on hitting your goal.

and nice job getting through a tough spot.  You experiences your trigger, you recognized what was happening and you were able to get through it.  As you continue to win these small battles, winning the war becomes easier.

Embrace this strength

 

[dataguy]

Another internet outage or computer glitch today.  I'm back online now (obviously).  I over did it a bit with a big bike ride yesterday, --- about 70 somewhat hilly miles.  The ride felt good, really tired yesterday evening, had to go to a family meal on short notice, really didn't want to be there. 

But the trigger that I experienced was this morning when I got up and my internet wouldn't work (probably it was really something glitchy in my own computer).  It wasn't anything porn related about the net, it was just that it was working yesterday evening, I got up this morning and it wasn't working.  It drives me nuts when things don't work (and especially things that I can't fix myself, or figure out what went wrong.)  I have a pretty intense case of DIY, do it yourself.

So the trigger was stress from something suddenly not working, and the old way to deal with it would be to PMO, and edge, and the process would be so intense I wouldn't have to think about the current problem.

 

[dataguy]

I added one week to the goal on my counter.  I see the people with large goals (like a year or something of that order) and I admire that and would like to try it, but I think that for awhile I need smaller goals that I can quickly reach and sort of get some satisfaction from reaching.

 

[PMOVictory]

Dataguy

Glad you are identifying the triggers and acting responsibly to it!
Small steps one at a time, and smaller goals are great tools. Use it and you will reach the big goal as well.

Glad you are still positive.

Hope re-entering the work force will be smooth and deliver for you what you need.

Be blessed

 

[PMOVictory]

How are you going?

Have not heard from you in a looong time!

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!