One simple question

[vispren]

Hey guys,

I'm still pretty new to rebooting/rewiring/rebalancing and this forum.

I think I've on the right path: admitted to myself I have a problem, looked for help, did my research, discovered the methods for recovery, got active on this forum as well as a few other ones, started rebooting, set my goals, etc...

However, one question keeps popping up, today:

How safe is for someone who has a problem with porn addiction to be on an internet forum? I'm not talking about checking out the forum and being drawn to relapse because porn is just a click away and you're already in a "porn familiar environment".

I'm talking about addictions. From what I have read during the past few weeks, a lot of new rebooters (including myself) are almost religiously turning to the forum, when feeling urges, unease,  restlessness, etc. Since, porn addiction is, IMHO, closely related to Internet addiction in general, isn't that just replacing one addiction with another?

The reason I'm pondering about this is: since I started my reboot, I have been checking the forums a lot. Maybe too much. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to have this place on the web where I can share and heal and get motivation, it's just that I find myself checking the forum in the same/similar timeframe as it was with porn.

I was just wondering as I am surely not the only one who feels this way.

 

[Promise]

As you've done your research, I'm sure you're aware that the drug our brains are craving is dopamine.  Porn is the button we push to get these immense dopamine surges.  When you're checking these forums, it may be slightly compulsive or habitual, but it's vastly preferable to habitually or compulsively looking at porn.  When you're looking at porn, your dopamine is through the roof, when looking at a forum it might be at a trickle.

If your internet usage is a concern for you, it might be worth limiting your time and finding other things to do with your spare time such as learning an instrument or picking up a new hobby or whatever, but for my money, browsing this forum is a good thing to do.  While you're on these forums, take your time to share your experiences and advise others.  This can be immensely cathartic and help aid you in getting over your own addiction.

Also, install K9, then you won't be just a click away from porn.

 

[vispren]

Hey man, thanks for the reply.

Very well worded and put together.

I had that exact idea. Liming my time online and keeping myself busy with... Life.

I want to be an active member of this community for me and everybody else, but everything even slightly connected with porn addiction is scary and makes me a bit paranoid, I guess.

K9 and other porn blockers don't work for me. Foot fetish is my vice. Even the most benigne foot imagery is porn to me. I gotta do this with willpower, alone.

Thank you. Cheers!

 

[Promise]

'Cor, I bet you like Tarantino movies!

No problem mate, hope I can help.  Triggers are unavoidable, especially if you have something you can't really escape from, such as a foot fetish.  It's important not to feel guilty when you trigger, as it's an involuntary process, and guilt is unhelpful and unnecessary in this instance.  What's important is how you deal with triggers, how you turn your head, ignore them, take measures to avoid them if possible, etc.

For me, a pretty lady walking down the street is a trigger, so I make sure not to stare, I hide provocative images on Facebook, ignore ads that use sex to sell things and arrest fantasies before they begin.  Learning to control the impact your triggers have over you is a big part in making this process go more smoothly.

If anything else comes up, you can talk about it here.  I've had some terrible anxiety over my addiction, and talking about it in my journal was like twisting the valve that began to release some of the pressure.  My mental state is so much better now than it was before I started my journal on this site.  I no longer feel like I'm going to give myself a heart attack at 30.

 

[Viper]

All the PIED literature, vids, etc. have helped me out a great deal during my reboot.
Including this forum.