Jason
Member
Yesterday after doing a really long run the day before in the morning I had very strong urges to look at porn or find something on the T.V. I can actually feel my brain withdrawing from porn and at 27 days my brain is craving for dopamine. Yes, I am married but that makes no difference my brain would rather have Porn than real sex which is just crazy. However, the war is on and after many relapse's this time I am going to continue to walk in recovery from Porn addiction or flipping through the cable channels looking for anything to give me a dopamine fix that resembles porn. In addition my brain has a sneaky way of trying to get me to relapse by saying to me 'Hey you just looked at that women at the restaurant for a second to long.' Thus you just relapsed 'Therefore go ahead and indulge yourself.' However, now I tell my brain 'No I didn't relapse and yes the women is beautiful but I look away and tell my brain nope we are committed to no porn or masturbation still and brain it is normal in the process of my recovery to come across situations where I see a beautiful women or where I might see a picture or something. However, it doesn't mean a relapse its called life! Thus my brain is throwing a tantrum right now as I write screaming in my skull 'GIVE ME PORN CAUSE I'M DYING.' In the process of rewiring and I will keep truckin as the Reboot Nation says to do!!!!