Siviaggiare
Member
Hi all! I'm totally new to this forum and this is my first post. I'm sorry if my english won't be correct sometimes but it's not my first language !
So, I'm 20, been using porn since I was 12/13... I really didn't notice the problem porn gave me until recent times, and I discovered YBOP two weeks ago. I decided to take the challenge as far as I could, today is the seventh day in my reboot (no P no M) and I hope I will make it far !
At the beginning of this month I moved to a new country, and it all came to me. I realized I gave many things for granted, like socializing and in general being active. It was easy in my old country, I always met the same 5-6 friends and family and always did the same things for last years. I sometimes experienced anxiety and paranoia when in unconfortable situations, but since I had my friends and family there I always refugeed in what I was used to.
I somehow decided that that couldn't be my life forever and I had to do somthing. I was barely working and I dropped out of university two years ago. I decided that the best thing (also knowing it was going to be very risky) was putting myself in a new environment. I thought that with finding myself in a new place with new people, it would have been natural to socialize, study and everything. I WAS QUITE WRONG.
All of a sudden I realized it was REALLY hard to me to socialize, expecially with girls. I found myself smoking weed and playing videogames for whole days, which never happened to me before (I have been a weed smoker for years, but usually I smoked with friends and did some stuff like playing music etc). This unconfortable feeling became stronger and stronger in just 2 weeks. I found myself struggling inside because I didn't want to go to school (heavn't met ANYONE I properly socialized with), already feeling homesick (after 2 weeks? I should stay here 4 years if my study works!) and paranoid about stupid things.
Now I heaven't been to porn for a week, and I feel some changes, even if small ones. I made a friend who introduced me to a bunch of other people I like and I'm trying my best to get along with people.
Right now, after all the things I read on the site, I don't feel any need to get back on porn. Although it has been only one week, I want to stay strong and I'm confindent in it. I won't let some subtle habits like masturbation and porn take over my life!
Reading many stories on the site helped me a lot, at first I throught my situation was terrible, but I can see how it's better than others (it feels really mean to feel good about that, but it just is). I think I was lucky I occasionally had some girls during my life, I never completly dropped real sexuality, but in the last years I started preferring porn to real girls...
I also realize also now that it was that that caused problem with reaching my orgasm. I came only once with a girl in my life, and it was because I started masturbating myself... I can see now how it was a problem related to porn, and I'm looking forward to have good sex with a girl i like and actually enjoy it. (I came to a point few years ago when I had sex just to please my girl, and I actually didn't liked it. It's ironic how in the male chauvinist imaginary it is supposed to be the other way round right?
)
I also wanted to ask how does the reboot approach to weed smoking. I've been smoking weed almost daily for years now and I'm not dropping during the reboot (I actually think it's helping me). I have a good relationship with weed, I can manage to gets things done with it (project for school, producing music), and I proved myself sometimes that I'm not an addicted (stopping for one month several times just to prove myself I am no addict). Obvioulsy it's helping me getting trought the reboot because of dopamines, do you think that would be a problem for my reboot? Thanks a lot everyone.
I throught this was going to be a short post since it was my first one. It turned out to be pretty long. So if everyone managed to read until here, thanks for your patience. And looking forward to hear from you guys also!
STAY STRONG! I WILL, AND SO WILL YOU
PEACE!
So, I'm 20, been using porn since I was 12/13... I really didn't notice the problem porn gave me until recent times, and I discovered YBOP two weeks ago. I decided to take the challenge as far as I could, today is the seventh day in my reboot (no P no M) and I hope I will make it far !
At the beginning of this month I moved to a new country, and it all came to me. I realized I gave many things for granted, like socializing and in general being active. It was easy in my old country, I always met the same 5-6 friends and family and always did the same things for last years. I sometimes experienced anxiety and paranoia when in unconfortable situations, but since I had my friends and family there I always refugeed in what I was used to.
I somehow decided that that couldn't be my life forever and I had to do somthing. I was barely working and I dropped out of university two years ago. I decided that the best thing (also knowing it was going to be very risky) was putting myself in a new environment. I thought that with finding myself in a new place with new people, it would have been natural to socialize, study and everything. I WAS QUITE WRONG.
All of a sudden I realized it was REALLY hard to me to socialize, expecially with girls. I found myself smoking weed and playing videogames for whole days, which never happened to me before (I have been a weed smoker for years, but usually I smoked with friends and did some stuff like playing music etc). This unconfortable feeling became stronger and stronger in just 2 weeks. I found myself struggling inside because I didn't want to go to school (heavn't met ANYONE I properly socialized with), already feeling homesick (after 2 weeks? I should stay here 4 years if my study works!) and paranoid about stupid things.
Now I heaven't been to porn for a week, and I feel some changes, even if small ones. I made a friend who introduced me to a bunch of other people I like and I'm trying my best to get along with people.
Right now, after all the things I read on the site, I don't feel any need to get back on porn. Although it has been only one week, I want to stay strong and I'm confindent in it. I won't let some subtle habits like masturbation and porn take over my life!
Reading many stories on the site helped me a lot, at first I throught my situation was terrible, but I can see how it's better than others (it feels really mean to feel good about that, but it just is). I think I was lucky I occasionally had some girls during my life, I never completly dropped real sexuality, but in the last years I started preferring porn to real girls...
I also realize also now that it was that that caused problem with reaching my orgasm. I came only once with a girl in my life, and it was because I started masturbating myself... I can see now how it was a problem related to porn, and I'm looking forward to have good sex with a girl i like and actually enjoy it. (I came to a point few years ago when I had sex just to please my girl, and I actually didn't liked it. It's ironic how in the male chauvinist imaginary it is supposed to be the other way round right?
)I also wanted to ask how does the reboot approach to weed smoking. I've been smoking weed almost daily for years now and I'm not dropping during the reboot (I actually think it's helping me). I have a good relationship with weed, I can manage to gets things done with it (project for school, producing music), and I proved myself sometimes that I'm not an addicted (stopping for one month several times just to prove myself I am no addict). Obvioulsy it's helping me getting trought the reboot because of dopamines, do you think that would be a problem for my reboot? Thanks a lot everyone.
I throught this was going to be a short post since it was my first one. It turned out to be pretty long. So if everyone managed to read until here, thanks for your patience. And looking forward to hear from you guys also!
STAY STRONG! I WILL, AND SO WILL YOU
PEACE!
