11 Days In, I feel like I'm getting close to relapse.

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BlakeVM_93

Member
I got off of Facebook cause I kept seeing triggers, but I've been compensating with dating sites. Literally looking for someone to date, but there's so many beautiful women on there and I can't find one to talk to me. The combination of loneliness and being slightly turned on by some of the girls on there is bringing back that urge to just say fuck it and masturbate to port. Or... Is this just normal for the first few weeks?
 
vispren

vispren

Active Member
Hey Blake.

I read some of your other posts.

Please don't take offence, but I'd kick the dating sites, also. Aside from triggering, they contribute to you feeling lonely and the one thing, probably the most important thing you need in reboot is confidence. Confidence will bring strength and much needed resolve to the equation.

The world is full of triggers as it is, so there is no need to torture your brain by yourself.

In addition, although rebooting with a partner is highly recommended (I'm doing it with my wife), in my most humble opinion, I don't think you should be thinking about dating, at least until you figure stuff out. I wouldn't do it as I believe that girls are into cool and laid back guys and not into drooling timebombs waiting to explode with sexual frustrations, as we the guys in early reboot are.

Just try to calm down, get yourself together, figure out what you want to do and take the pressure off of yourself. Fight one day at a time, as each day is a fight on its own.

Cheers!
 
G

GoodMood

Member
The best thing you can do is accept the fact that you are going to feel a lot of pain during your reboot. Loneliness is the worst. But at the beginning of your reboot when you are most vulnerable you need to eliminate anything that triggers you.

That includes facebook, dating sites, movies with nude scenes, songs with sex lyrics

I went 50 days hardmode...until I admit I was really missing female company and started dating again. But during those 50 days I strengthened my willpower and I know that I can confidently browse dating sites without feeling any urge to watch porn.

I would tell myself everyday: "Ok dude, you like shit, you feel lonely right now, but this is just temporary, hang on."

It will all be worth it in the end. Porn will never satisfy you, it will only make you feel even lonelier, so don't fall into the trap of going back to porn to try and numb the pain.
 
J

jjhh

Active Member
If you are 11 days in then you are doing good!
It will get easier at some point, not just harder all the time!
Stop teasing yourself, clear your head and you'll be fine.
 
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BlakeVM_93

Member
Thank you guys for responding. It has really helped me. I would have relapsed this morning had I not seen your guys' responses.
 
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