bigman1006
Member
I am a 32 year old that has hit ROCK BOTTOM! i am just now realizing the power of porn and how blind i was for years. My porn induced ED started when i was about 22. I couldnt get that thing up to save my life, and didnt know why. years passed by and so did the porn, it became something to do after work and when I was bored. The porn started off mild then over the years it boosted to Fetishes and Tranny porn. Im not gay at all but it was something different, porn is like drugs. you are never satisfied with the high so you find a better high till you self-destruct. thats exactly how my porn addiction was. I was fooling myself when i would meet a girl and try to have a relationship while watching porn 24/7. after years and years of meeting excellent women and could not preform, I turned to my doctor for the "little blue pill". it worked in the begining but sex kind of gotten dull and boring to me cause of the porn. it was very hard to deal with the mixed emotions, my heart cared for the women, my body rejected them cause of the porn, my penis rejected me cause of the porn, then my mind took a ton of hits depression, anxiety, stress, heartbreak, not wanting to try with women, anti social and that list is longer than micheal jordans arm. my porn addiction had hit a new stage and took me for a long ride for years.
Rock Bottom (no not the dwayne Jonson's finisher lol):
I consider myself to be a good looking man, very tall in good shape, african american. meeting and charming women was easy for me, but not sex. I would use the infamous P.O.F dating site and go on dates, many many dates. some came to be Girlfriends rest were just a good time. with every girl i met i experienced failure to liftoff. every time it happened it shot my ego down so far you can find it in china (according to childhood cartoons). so i would take a break in between sex partners, but as I gotten older and more mature i realized that i wanna settle down, but how can I with this massive porn habit that i call a life? few things that will never leave my memory is 1. "you would be a perfect man if your dick worked" 2. "I dont think i could continue to be faihful if this keeps up" and last but not least "you can just eat me out instead" talk about some messed up stuff, no one to blame but myself. time after time of my penis not working and girl after girl coming and going and not getting why she deserves ( this dick) i had enough. my heart couldn't take any more and my brain was on overload and severely depressed. I chose to WAKE THE FUCK UP and take a stand. This cant be life, theres gotta be more.
Realization and Educating:
after i realized what i done to myself, i began to search for answers. cause this is ain't something you can discuss with your doc. "hey doc my dick don't work cause i be beating it like Ike used to beat Tina" and then ask for a cure lol. no this is something i needed to educate myself on and DIY. after reading about No Fap, Reboot, and becoming desensitized. i knew i was in the right place cause it was something i could relate to. I am still learning and reading so any comments are welcomed.
Execution:
on 9/21 I started my 90 days no Masturbation tour (damn that sounds like a long time lol). it needs to be done, porn and masturbation DO NOT RULE my life any longer.I have done some reading about "superpowers" and the "relapsing" and i am ready. the mind is a very powerful thing and i believe with any addiction if you put it in your mind then your body will follow.so far I have noticed that i am more happy, more rlaxed, and more social. my penis almost seems like it may have gotten bigger.at the same time the urges after work are kiling me. i try to keep the thoughts out my head and refrain to do with anything porn like
Rock Bottom (no not the dwayne Jonson's finisher lol):
I consider myself to be a good looking man, very tall in good shape, african american. meeting and charming women was easy for me, but not sex. I would use the infamous P.O.F dating site and go on dates, many many dates. some came to be Girlfriends rest were just a good time. with every girl i met i experienced failure to liftoff. every time it happened it shot my ego down so far you can find it in china (according to childhood cartoons). so i would take a break in between sex partners, but as I gotten older and more mature i realized that i wanna settle down, but how can I with this massive porn habit that i call a life? few things that will never leave my memory is 1. "you would be a perfect man if your dick worked" 2. "I dont think i could continue to be faihful if this keeps up" and last but not least "you can just eat me out instead" talk about some messed up stuff, no one to blame but myself. time after time of my penis not working and girl after girl coming and going and not getting why she deserves ( this dick) i had enough. my heart couldn't take any more and my brain was on overload and severely depressed. I chose to WAKE THE FUCK UP and take a stand. This cant be life, theres gotta be more.
Realization and Educating:
after i realized what i done to myself, i began to search for answers. cause this is ain't something you can discuss with your doc. "hey doc my dick don't work cause i be beating it like Ike used to beat Tina" and then ask for a cure lol. no this is something i needed to educate myself on and DIY. after reading about No Fap, Reboot, and becoming desensitized. i knew i was in the right place cause it was something i could relate to. I am still learning and reading so any comments are welcomed.
Execution:
on 9/21 I started my 90 days no Masturbation tour (damn that sounds like a long time lol). it needs to be done, porn and masturbation DO NOT RULE my life any longer.I have done some reading about "superpowers" and the "relapsing" and i am ready. the mind is a very powerful thing and i believe with any addiction if you put it in your mind then your body will follow.so far I have noticed that i am more happy, more rlaxed, and more social. my penis almost seems like it may have gotten bigger.at the same time the urges after work are kiling me. i try to keep the thoughts out my head and refrain to do with anything porn like
