I really wasn't prepared for the mental and emotional pain this reboot places you under. This is, by far, the worst thing to contend with during this experience. Recently I've been going through some pretty dark stuff.
I can cope with the physical side effects; the increased urges to masturbate and have sex, the restless nights and sleeplessness, the nervous jitters (I'm constantly tapping my fingers or shaking my leg... trying to stop myself from this and it's calming down a bit), the strange appetite changes that mean I sometimes have to force food down and the rest. The physical effects are starting to subside a bit now I think, though I still get some symptoms on occasion.
What I didn't anticipate was how much this messes with your head and your mind. For a few weeks now I've entertained such thoughts as death, the point of life and if there even is one, whether life is worth it... some nasty things. Things I have never thought about or bothered me before (we've all heard the meaning of life jokes, but right now it's spooking me out.) I suppose it was a kind of existential crisis. These thoughts aren't as bad as they were about a week or two into my reboot; I felt truly awful then but soldiered on and experienced a week or so of relative happiness after that. Now, every day seems to making me more and more numb. I appreciate I'm still early into my reboot and things can get freaky. Some describe this as the hardest thing you will ever do. But mentally and emotionally, this is so tough. I hope to God these are normal symptoms. Sometimes I'm worrying for my sanity! Did anyone else's mind go off the deep end during their rebooting process?
I can cope with the physical side effects; the increased urges to masturbate and have sex, the restless nights and sleeplessness, the nervous jitters (I'm constantly tapping my fingers or shaking my leg... trying to stop myself from this and it's calming down a bit), the strange appetite changes that mean I sometimes have to force food down and the rest. The physical effects are starting to subside a bit now I think, though I still get some symptoms on occasion.
What I didn't anticipate was how much this messes with your head and your mind. For a few weeks now I've entertained such thoughts as death, the point of life and if there even is one, whether life is worth it... some nasty things. Things I have never thought about or bothered me before (we've all heard the meaning of life jokes, but right now it's spooking me out.) I suppose it was a kind of existential crisis. These thoughts aren't as bad as they were about a week or two into my reboot; I felt truly awful then but soldiered on and experienced a week or so of relative happiness after that. Now, every day seems to making me more and more numb. I appreciate I'm still early into my reboot and things can get freaky. Some describe this as the hardest thing you will ever do. But mentally and emotionally, this is so tough. I hope to God these are normal symptoms. Sometimes I'm worrying for my sanity! Did anyone else's mind go off the deep end during their rebooting process?
I felt the same a few days ago. These mood swings will come and go. The most thing you can do is eliminate everything thats bad in your daily basis and replace it with exercise and productive things ! Stay Strong ! There is Light !