MUSingleguy87
New Member
So where to begin. My name is ****** and I have a sex/porn/masturbation addiction. This has been a struggle for MANY years and as a result, I have waisted countless hours pursuing my addiction instead of focusing on my studies in school and being involved with different projects in college. It also has lead me to primarily become a recluse and I have lost touch with many friends....so, here is the story of how I got this far.
My obsession with porn started years ago with a fascination of pictures of sexy clothed women. When I was in middle school (probably 6th grade), I found a few "Redbook" magazines. I would read the articles, but I became fascinated by the sexy pictures of women to the point of where I would start thinking about them a lot...this then led to me masturbating maybe once or twice a day in the beginning while thinking about these pictures.
As years passed, it wasn't too big of an issue...then the internet came about. While I was in high school, I would get home early before my parents and would start looking sparingly at pictures online. I would then fantasize more, but was always sure to delete the history on the family computer. I also found myself fantasizing more about the women at my school. Then would the lead to masturbating countless times in the evenings before I would go to bed...sometimes it was every night and sometimes it would be every other night.
Things were not too bad in high school. However, things started to GREATLY escalate when I entered college. It first started as I was an early freshmen. I would look at pics online here and there, and I would occasionally read erotic stories. After I would get nice and hard, I would then "take care of things" in the dorm bathroom. This wasn't too extreme...then I had something happen that REALLY made me start to think about sex more.
One night a friend of mine brought her girlfriend over to hang out. This girl basically looked like a hot porn star and I was instantly turned on. She was too and before I new it we were making out...after a while, clothes started falling off until we were making out while in our underwear (after my friend and roommate left). In this instance though, we didn't go any farther then this....one gets turned off when you're a virgin and the girl you're about to do it with says "Its ok. Don't be nervous. I don't even remember my first time".
Though nothing happened there, I started to fantasize about doing it with her and other hot women often.
I then made it through freshmen year with no problem. The following year though I moved from an all guys dorm to a coed dorm that housed A LOT of sexy women. I started to fantasize more...and spend more time masturbating. I started to spend my free hours watching porn and masturbating 5- 10 times a day. This started to take away from my studies. My grades started to tumble, and because of that I ended up losing my job.
When I moved off campus, it started getting worse still. I would lock myself in my room for hours watching porn and masturbating.
After a while, I started wanting more...I made a fake account on speedate.com and a few dating sites. I then started messaging women and seducing them into VERY erotic chats. I was surprised at how easy it was to attract HOT women with 2 pics (one of a guy shirtles and 1 of a random, hung, erect penis). I started spending hours in the evenings doing this. Eventually the women would send me naked pics of themselves, videos of them getting off, etc. After that, I started getting numbers, which escalated into phone sex chats through gmail, yahoo, and skype. Women also didn't mind masterbating in front of a camera for me on skype.....all with my identity hidden safely behind my screen.
Things escalated to where I even started paying for porn online (through prepaid debit cards) and I still struggle with the obsession of getting women off online. I spend WAY to many hours doing that and I need to change.
The ironic thing about all this is that I'm 100% a virgin. I don't know if having sex would actually diminish these urges or not. I NEED to stop though. I spend WAY too much of my life seducing and getting off to women online and being a recluse to everyone in real life so I'm going to try and give it up and see what happens.
Any advice or suggestions are welcome. Thanks for your support and we'll see how things go. And I do apologize for any grammatical or "flow" errors with this writing. I did this in kind of a rush during my lunch break. Here goes something!
My obsession with porn started years ago with a fascination of pictures of sexy clothed women. When I was in middle school (probably 6th grade), I found a few "Redbook" magazines. I would read the articles, but I became fascinated by the sexy pictures of women to the point of where I would start thinking about them a lot...this then led to me masturbating maybe once or twice a day in the beginning while thinking about these pictures.
As years passed, it wasn't too big of an issue...then the internet came about. While I was in high school, I would get home early before my parents and would start looking sparingly at pictures online. I would then fantasize more, but was always sure to delete the history on the family computer. I also found myself fantasizing more about the women at my school. Then would the lead to masturbating countless times in the evenings before I would go to bed...sometimes it was every night and sometimes it would be every other night.
Things were not too bad in high school. However, things started to GREATLY escalate when I entered college. It first started as I was an early freshmen. I would look at pics online here and there, and I would occasionally read erotic stories. After I would get nice and hard, I would then "take care of things" in the dorm bathroom. This wasn't too extreme...then I had something happen that REALLY made me start to think about sex more.
One night a friend of mine brought her girlfriend over to hang out. This girl basically looked like a hot porn star and I was instantly turned on. She was too and before I new it we were making out...after a while, clothes started falling off until we were making out while in our underwear (after my friend and roommate left). In this instance though, we didn't go any farther then this....one gets turned off when you're a virgin and the girl you're about to do it with says "Its ok. Don't be nervous. I don't even remember my first time".
Though nothing happened there, I started to fantasize about doing it with her and other hot women often.
I then made it through freshmen year with no problem. The following year though I moved from an all guys dorm to a coed dorm that housed A LOT of sexy women. I started to fantasize more...and spend more time masturbating. I started to spend my free hours watching porn and masturbating 5- 10 times a day. This started to take away from my studies. My grades started to tumble, and because of that I ended up losing my job.
When I moved off campus, it started getting worse still. I would lock myself in my room for hours watching porn and masturbating.
After a while, I started wanting more...I made a fake account on speedate.com and a few dating sites. I then started messaging women and seducing them into VERY erotic chats. I was surprised at how easy it was to attract HOT women with 2 pics (one of a guy shirtles and 1 of a random, hung, erect penis). I started spending hours in the evenings doing this. Eventually the women would send me naked pics of themselves, videos of them getting off, etc. After that, I started getting numbers, which escalated into phone sex chats through gmail, yahoo, and skype. Women also didn't mind masterbating in front of a camera for me on skype.....all with my identity hidden safely behind my screen.
Things escalated to where I even started paying for porn online (through prepaid debit cards) and I still struggle with the obsession of getting women off online. I spend WAY to many hours doing that and I need to change.
The ironic thing about all this is that I'm 100% a virgin. I don't know if having sex would actually diminish these urges or not. I NEED to stop though. I spend WAY too much of my life seducing and getting off to women online and being a recluse to everyone in real life so I'm going to try and give it up and see what happens.
Any advice or suggestions are welcome. Thanks for your support and we'll see how things go. And I do apologize for any grammatical or "flow" errors with this writing. I did this in kind of a rush during my lunch break. Here goes something!