24 M, 10 months hard mode. Yesterday i decided to M only using my imagination

[vhuertaste]

I have been using porn for ten years, but never really escalated to hardcore fetishes. I had trouble with having normal sex though - penetration was imposssible because i was losing erection when putting on a condom or wanting to penetrate. After the last incident i found out about PIED and quit PMO completely for 10 months. I had regular morning erections since probably month 3 but was experiencing flatline and depression during this time from time to time. I also had very frequently very cloudy urine and experienced nocturnal emission for the first time in my life, but it happened only once.
In all this period i never watched porn and was trying to have sex with someone, but unfortunately, due to covid, it was not so easy (i was also very unsure). Now i think, even though i haven't had sex, that it might be working again. I feel like a 13 year old teenager with very strongsexual desires.
Yesterday i masturbated for the first time using only my imagination and having realistic fantasies, instead of flashbacks from porn. I was not sure whether this was allowed in the recovery process but it felt amazing. Today, in the morning, i had a strong erection and felt very good in general.

Does this reverse my streak? Am i going to start from 0 again to cure it or is it allowed to masturbate after such long abstaining? Can i masturbate in the future too using only my imagination? Please share your thoughts and experience

 

[dreampulse]

I suggest not to do M also. Brain should only and only act to real girl, real visuals.
When you are craving for M, you search in internet and thousands of search results says you can do M without any problem , but in reality , it also take you away from reality . You may feel M is giving better comfort and joy than actual women whom you doing fantasy for.