rebooting because i think porn is ruining my life

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k7shawn

Member
Im 26 and i decided to reboot when i got in trouble at work and realized part of the reason i was getting headaches was because of pmo.  I also felt sluggish the days after i would pmo, less social, stomach aches, oddly enough my knees would hurt on runs, and i was overall irritable and i would get angry at things i could probably deal with if i wasnt going back to my room to pmo.

I tried for the last 8 days and relapsed 6 times a few were wthout porn i just jerked off and went to sleep and i felt better after those days than when using porn.  I relapsed last night and i realized i needed help so im here to make a journal and read some other stories and accounts.  Ive gone 60 days before without pmo and i felt great so im hoping i can do thay again and this time i want to go to 90 because i feel that is the amount of time it takes to make a real life change.

I will post here probably alot at first and occassionally as the cravings to watch porn subside.  I hope i can reboot and be helpful to others making this change.
 
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Promise

Well-Known Member
Welcome to the forum man, and good luck.  I recommend right now at the start of this thread you make a big list of all of the reasons you don't want porn in your life.  Every little detail in bullet point form.  Sometimes we lose track of why we're doing this, which can lead to slips.  If you have that list right at the start of your thread, you'll never forget.
 
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princio

Member
good luck man you can do this. setting a small goal does really help when you try to reach something big. i would go for 15 or 30 days honestly. it feels like you achieve something when you compete those, you just wonna keep going. Hope this helps. good luck :)
 
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k7shawn

Member
Yesterday about got to me my bike wont start locked my keys in my truck so i had to break the window and i felt like shit all day.  Right now its not going to be as hard as when i havent pmo in 3 or more days thats usually when i relapse because i just want to feel good.  I drank last night but i think im going to stop that because usually when i do my willpower decreases and i cave in without thinking.
 
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k7shawn

Member
So i relapsed two days ago.  I realized pmo is the real problem and i want to cut out mo as well but im going to try cutting out pmo for the next 30 days and use mo to avoid the feeling of watching videos.  After that i will cut out mo and try to make more attainable goals like 7 days at a time until i get to 30 and then cut it out all together.  I might revise this plan as time goes on but right now it seems like an attainable goal.  I want to fix this embarrassing problem it seems so weird because usually in my life when i put my mind to something i can achieve it but this problem has always been hard to get over.  I need to always remember to get on here and read when i have a bad day or get blue balls from a girl or something triggers me.  Im committed and accountable now.
 
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k7shawn

Member
I realized mp isnt the best way to go but at 7 to 10 days i might just so i dont relapse on pmo.  Does anyone else get blurry vision and puffy eyes like a pressure feeling when u pmo way too much and then go through your day the next day?  I have bad astigmatism but it seems its way worse when i pmo and if i abstain for long enough it feels like my eyes are much less strained.  Anyone else go through this?
 
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k7shawn

Member
Had a weird dream with naked girls and woke up with a 60% boner but i didnt mo so i think im focusing better on the end goal and trying to really find some self control to beat this.  I believe i can succeed because im focused now but most of all accountable, and i keep remembering the thing on ybop that says dont count ur success in days abstaining but rather think of it like you spent x amount of days putting distance between yourself and porn.
 
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k7shawn

Member
Fuck i tried to mo and couldnt finish so now im relapsing this is stupid i thought i had more self control than this i know i have a real problem now.
 
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k7shawn

Member
So the realization.

#1 the tv show triggered me to want to masturbate

#2 the tv show wasnt hardcore enough to finish to

#3 i need to start identifying and cutting out triggers until i make it awhile and start to recover and not be affected by the same miniscule triggers like a tv show with a lot of females.
 
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k7shawn

Member
Im around 20 days of attempting this and im not dedicated its time to make this a very important part of my life.
 
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k7shawn

Member
1 day 4 hours.  So heres the main reason i hate pmo i relapsed and yesterday a girl came over i knew she wanted to fuck but i know i probably wouldnt have gotten it up or came way too fast.  It happened with an ex gf id be so horny all the time thinking about sex with her and id mo and then when i finally got time to see her id cum way too fast.  Whenever i abstain for awhile though i last awhile and the sex is natural i dont get as much performance anxiety because i know my dicks been hard for days and theres no way id go limp noodle.
 
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k7shawn

Member
2 days .. progress is slow day 2-5 is the worst so i need to clear my mind and focus as well as try not to think about things that stress me out that is a huge trigger to relapsing
 
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k7shawn

Member
4 days without pmo. At day 2 i mo'ed but i feel it didnt hurt me as much as a 3 day and then pmo relapse.  Today i feel like mo again don't know if i will but i will always mo if i feel like i want to pmo bad i think it makes me realize that sometimes the craving is for pmo bc i will start and realize im not feeling it after a little bit and stop.
 
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k7shawn

Member
I relapsed again i was tired and hungover i should have just mo'ed and killed the craving.  That was the plan but something came over me.


I used to be into enf and cfnm for some reason and now im realizing im not as turned on by them im not sure why i was in the first place i always thought it was weird so im gonna try to remind myself how lame it is anyways when i think about it in the future.

Im gonna try for 11 days without pmo but letting mo slide.  I feel like every 2 days is usually when i feel like mo.

The thoughts i get when i just mo arent weird its usually just me thinking of girls i want to fuck.

In 18 days im getting off these long work days so ill probably stop mo around 11 days and fight as hard as i can to not relapse and i think theres a girl i can bang out so hopefully i can start having sex instead of using porn.
 
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k7shawn

Member
Gave myself 1 pmo alibi but it was definitely a bad idea.  Im going to try no mo ill give myself the option still the next 3 days but i guess its a mini trial run.
 
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k7shawn

Member
Start of no mo.  Im going to be completely honest i had another pmo so thats 2 in 7 days.  Id say its slight progress but some is better than none.  Now im going to start no mo and i have a feeling it will be rough but i think i can succeed bc the first pmo was forgivable the second was a mistake but it made me realize something.  Since ive started ive made so many realizations about the true effects of porn i really do want to quit and my real goal now is to just have sex and forget about the fantasy world.  Im definitely the person who uses it to escape real life but im hoping life is getting better and i can accept the boring parts a little easier now knowing its healthier for me in the long run.  I have bad habits otherwise i need to break like smoking and drinking and fast food but i know i will be able to push through those in 7 days when im able to go run and lift again. Those are issues ive already realized and been able to overcome with exercise or atleast reduce them to a point that its not a real issue.  Heres to the start of my 7 day no pmo and no mo countdown.
 
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obber

Member
Hey k7shawn,

You, like everyone else, are totally capable of overcoming your need to escape life by turning to P. I've hit several double-digit streaks of no MO and no PMO and I think I might have some helpful insight. I can't prescribe a particular method to recovery because everyone has to discover their own way of overcoming urges, and more importantly, avoiding them altogether. We all have different circumstances, you know?

My best advice is to get your mind in a place to accept and embrace that MO no longer should be a part of your daily life. We as humans don't NEED to MO. It feels awesome, and even euphoric at times, but no one has ever died of not masturbating... lol. The sexual tension we feel, at this point in our lives, is most likely due to the fact that our brains are just used to the dopamine we feed it by (P)MO-ing, not a physical, bodily need. (It's probably different for teenagers, but I'm no neurologist)

Understanding this proved to be the most effective insight for me when I was trying to do no MO.

Personally, I don't think that going hard-mode for longer periods will have immense benefits, but I haven't tried so I don't know. I think it's perfectly fine to have an understanding that you do not need to MO but can indulge from time to time. However, the times you MO should be the exception to the norm, not the norm.
 
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