I was looking for porn when I stumbled across YBOP and decided to stop right then. The thought crossed my mind "just one more jerk and I'll start tomorrow". But I didnt, what was the point of waiting. Hopefully having a journal will help me to kick the habit for good.
I remember that ever since I was a kid, I was fascinated with my cock, I loved to play with it and I honestly still love to play with it. Eventually after playing with a boner one day I had my first orgasm, surprisingly it didn't happen until I was 13. There was no stopping me after that. Eventually, I learned what it was called and began to search for masturbation online. That led to porn. Now I'm 27 and believe that I have an addiction to porn.
I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage. So I don't have the option of sex at the moment. My goal is to go complete nofap.
I feel like my taste for porn was different than most guys. I didnt really get into guys treating women like hump toys, and I found the women who were in those videos really unattractive, and it didn't look pleasurable. I got into porn that was more geared to women I guess, stuff that showed both the guy and the girl, it wasn't rough or anything. I also think I look at porn because I am insecure about the size of my penis, and obviously I know that looking at porn is the worst thing I can do solve that problem. But I ended up going to a lot of sites that had dick pics and dick comparison sites too. I didn't jerk off to that stuff but I would keep going back and wondering how I measured up, and it would often leave me feeling inadequate when I honestly have a decent enough setup. I think that going to those sites was even worse than looking at intercourse videos because it really hurts my confidence and self esteem when it comes to girls. I would have think that they would never go for a guy like me and that I would never be able to please them. I'm pretty sure those feelings will subside if stop looking at porn.
I'm currently on my 6th day of no porn or jacking off.
I haven't had any real urges until today. I really want to beat it hard, and I actually got as far as taking it out of my pants. Then I decided to stuff in back and start this journal instead.
One of my goals is to let my body release my semen naturally when it needs to by having a wet dream. I never have had one and I want to experience that. I don't think that I have full blown ED, but I've noticed that I don't get boners as often as I used to, but I aleays contributed it to getting older. Which makes me wonder if other guys my age get spontaneous boners still?
I have some social anxiety, but not enough to prevent me from going out. I never though that porn could have caused me to be a shy person. I'm not shy if I know the people in a group, but I'm definitely shy when I go somewhere and I don't know anyone, and wish I was more out going when meeting new people. I had one girlfriend and thankfully it didn't work out, looking back we were completely incomparable. I've had this crush on this gorgeous girl for the past few years, but haven't been in a position to pursue her until recently. I finally couldn't take it anymore and after month of trying to hang out I had to ask to make time for me so we could talk. We talked for a long time just as friends. From the hour of talking I realized she wasn't ready for a relationship, and I debated whether I should tell her how I felt. I decided I would hate myself if kept how I was feeling to myself, even if I knew what the outcome was. I told her I liked her, that I thought we were comparable, that I wanted to date her and eventually marry her. I then told her that despite the way I felt, I didn't think that she was ready. She agreed that she wasn't, but that she appreciated me telling her. I think I should have just waited for for her give me a firm yes or no instead of answering my own question for her. I think that because I knew the answer and still wanted to get my feelings off my chest, it was an attempt to try to not make the friendship any weirder. Than I had already done. Anyways, it will be interesting to see how quitting porn affects me socially.
My voice has naturally been on the quieter side, not necessarily high, but I have a tendency to mumble and people often ask me to repeat myself. I never would have attributed porn to this either, but it's interesting to see that some guys have noticed their voices getting deeper.
So to list my goals and what I hope accomplish:
1) To have a wet dream and learn about how often my body decides I need one.
2) To gain more confidence and self worth
3) To be more outgoing, especially with girls
4) To see if my voice deepens
I remember that ever since I was a kid, I was fascinated with my cock, I loved to play with it and I honestly still love to play with it. Eventually after playing with a boner one day I had my first orgasm, surprisingly it didn't happen until I was 13. There was no stopping me after that. Eventually, I learned what it was called and began to search for masturbation online. That led to porn. Now I'm 27 and believe that I have an addiction to porn.
I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage. So I don't have the option of sex at the moment. My goal is to go complete nofap.
I feel like my taste for porn was different than most guys. I didnt really get into guys treating women like hump toys, and I found the women who were in those videos really unattractive, and it didn't look pleasurable. I got into porn that was more geared to women I guess, stuff that showed both the guy and the girl, it wasn't rough or anything. I also think I look at porn because I am insecure about the size of my penis, and obviously I know that looking at porn is the worst thing I can do solve that problem. But I ended up going to a lot of sites that had dick pics and dick comparison sites too. I didn't jerk off to that stuff but I would keep going back and wondering how I measured up, and it would often leave me feeling inadequate when I honestly have a decent enough setup. I think that going to those sites was even worse than looking at intercourse videos because it really hurts my confidence and self esteem when it comes to girls. I would have think that they would never go for a guy like me and that I would never be able to please them. I'm pretty sure those feelings will subside if stop looking at porn.
I'm currently on my 6th day of no porn or jacking off.
I haven't had any real urges until today. I really want to beat it hard, and I actually got as far as taking it out of my pants. Then I decided to stuff in back and start this journal instead.
One of my goals is to let my body release my semen naturally when it needs to by having a wet dream. I never have had one and I want to experience that. I don't think that I have full blown ED, but I've noticed that I don't get boners as often as I used to, but I aleays contributed it to getting older. Which makes me wonder if other guys my age get spontaneous boners still?
I have some social anxiety, but not enough to prevent me from going out. I never though that porn could have caused me to be a shy person. I'm not shy if I know the people in a group, but I'm definitely shy when I go somewhere and I don't know anyone, and wish I was more out going when meeting new people. I had one girlfriend and thankfully it didn't work out, looking back we were completely incomparable. I've had this crush on this gorgeous girl for the past few years, but haven't been in a position to pursue her until recently. I finally couldn't take it anymore and after month of trying to hang out I had to ask to make time for me so we could talk. We talked for a long time just as friends. From the hour of talking I realized she wasn't ready for a relationship, and I debated whether I should tell her how I felt. I decided I would hate myself if kept how I was feeling to myself, even if I knew what the outcome was. I told her I liked her, that I thought we were comparable, that I wanted to date her and eventually marry her. I then told her that despite the way I felt, I didn't think that she was ready. She agreed that she wasn't, but that she appreciated me telling her. I think I should have just waited for for her give me a firm yes or no instead of answering my own question for her. I think that because I knew the answer and still wanted to get my feelings off my chest, it was an attempt to try to not make the friendship any weirder. Than I had already done. Anyways, it will be interesting to see how quitting porn affects me socially.
My voice has naturally been on the quieter side, not necessarily high, but I have a tendency to mumble and people often ask me to repeat myself. I never would have attributed porn to this either, but it's interesting to see that some guys have noticed their voices getting deeper.
So to list my goals and what I hope accomplish:
1) To have a wet dream and learn about how often my body decides I need one.
2) To gain more confidence and self worth
3) To be more outgoing, especially with girls
4) To see if my voice deepens
