So after yet another relationship ended within 5 months due to "we're not compatible in bed" I realised that my ED with real women is a real problem. Until this last time I really thought that because I could get rock hard on my own I had no problem. Just not met the right woman. Now I realise that 33 years of PMO has wrecked my head (Internet porn since age 23). So I had a quick look for info on the net and am really surprised (and also encouraged) by how popular it actually is. It's actually quite good to know there's lots of resources and personal experiences to get help and encouragement from. I got the brainbuddy app to help me along. It's not the best app in the world but it does help me a bit - and any help is very welcome right now.
So far I've been trying for 12 days with one brief relapse looking at a couple of still images (no fapping though). I've been fap free for 12 days.
It was easy in the first week but I think that was partly because I was still miserable about my last girlfriend dumping me. Now I'm getting over her the fantasies are getting back in my head. Sometimes I'll dismiss them quickly and try to think of something else - and sometimes I'll dwell on them for a minute or so and have ended up considering just looking at a few images but I've managed to turn it off in time so far. In either case, if I find myself getting hard thinking about them I stop myself. I don't want to get hard thinking about that stuff ever again. I haven't been hard for 12 days now. No morning wood and no fapping.
I've got to admit, I'm really worried about the ED, flatlining etc. At the moment I feel like I couldn't get hard even if I did use porn - which I'm not going to do. I have a date tomorrow (2 dates actually!) and although I'm looking forward to it I'm just expecting it to go really well until we get intimate and then she'll end it. Time will tell. I'm considering using Viagra to help me along but I'm not sure that would even work if the excitement isn't there in the first place.
Anyway, I think writing this stuff down on here is really going to help keep me going and after reading a lot of others' I hope when I'm down the road and rebooted it will give some encouragement to others too. I hope to god it doesn't take too long.
So far I've been trying for 12 days with one brief relapse looking at a couple of still images (no fapping though). I've been fap free for 12 days.
It was easy in the first week but I think that was partly because I was still miserable about my last girlfriend dumping me. Now I'm getting over her the fantasies are getting back in my head. Sometimes I'll dismiss them quickly and try to think of something else - and sometimes I'll dwell on them for a minute or so and have ended up considering just looking at a few images but I've managed to turn it off in time so far. In either case, if I find myself getting hard thinking about them I stop myself. I don't want to get hard thinking about that stuff ever again. I haven't been hard for 12 days now. No morning wood and no fapping.
I've got to admit, I'm really worried about the ED, flatlining etc. At the moment I feel like I couldn't get hard even if I did use porn - which I'm not going to do. I have a date tomorrow (2 dates actually!) and although I'm looking forward to it I'm just expecting it to go really well until we get intimate and then she'll end it. Time will tell. I'm considering using Viagra to help me along but I'm not sure that would even work if the excitement isn't there in the first place.
Anyway, I think writing this stuff down on here is really going to help keep me going and after reading a lot of others' I hope when I'm down the road and rebooted it will give some encouragement to others too. I hope to god it doesn't take too long.
