What is wrong?

[unknown0099]

Hi all ,i am new and im 17. I'll try to be short. I was always attracted to girls (tried to look good in front of them ,was happy when they talk to me, was kinda ashamed in front of them if i dont look good) but when i started masterbeting i was 14 i masterbated on all kinds of things ,so i did with gay fantasies (never watched gay porn , because i thought it will make me gay), i also masterbated on straight/lesbian tought and porn. But it was more effective masterbating on gay stuff because its like forbidden and so. I never thought i was gay, i was happy. But recently i got ill and i lost my will for everything including girls and food. And than it started (obsessing) ," am i gay? I dont want to be gay. But i am. Accept it ,naah u r not " etc. etc. Than the questioning and googling also messed things up, since i lost my attraction to girls sometimes i was like  sure that i am gay. I was imagining myself in gay sex  and i enjoyed it (Even tho i would never do it!!) I imagine myself in straight sex and i also enjoy it ,but there gay things occupied my mind (i never felt anything for men in real or i checked some guy )i dont masterbate a lot (2 times a day, didnt watch porn for last week) ,i dont feel depressed always ,only sometimes. So im wondering would rebooting help me, and what u guys think of my problem? Thanks

 

[terrified]

If you dont actually feel attracted to guys if you see a goodlooking guy outside of porn or fantasies I don't think you?re gay.

I find that the porn addiction drives you to all sorts of fetishes and "forbidden" stuff, but I reckon once the addiction wears off you?ll have an easier way detemining either way.

 

[unknown0099]

In real i dont really feel anything for men , only girls . I feel i need to look good infront of girls, threat them good and so. But why masterbating to gay sex turns me up more,maybe because i was always avoding it? I dont know if i could do it in real (i just know i would not do it ever).Lately i had anxiety because i thought i am gay, so i lost interests to girls a bit, so that freaked me out. So ,stop masterbating or no?

 

[terrified]

If you feel that you have forbidden yourself from thinking sexual thoughts about men, I think the selfimposed forbidden nature of those thoughts is exciting. I know people tend to turn to more extreme types of porn as their addiction developes, things that would never turn them on in real life may be the only way thing that works in a porn setting.

I dont necessarily know if you need to stop masturbating, but you could try taking a break from it, and try to masturbate using only the sensation and not your fantasy if you do masturbate.

 

[Innocence]

In real i dont really feel anything for men , only girls . I feel i need to look good infront of girls, threat them good and so. But why masterbating to gay sex turns me up more,maybe because i was always avoding it? I dont know if i could do it in real (i just know i would not do it ever).Lately i had anxiety because i thought i am gay, so i lost interests to girls a bit, so that freaked me out. So ,stop masterbating or no?

I would personally recommend to give it a try.
Joining in on the 90 days no PornMasturbationOrgasm is a great way of figuring things out and maybe a chance to become more self confident.