caught in-between while rewiring sexual tastes, which direction to take?

[emperor]

hi everyone,

for my first post on this forum i need some guidance as i'm beginning my reboot.

i've been experimenting with how i should approach my reboot lately and i am conflicted about something. as a straight guy (as far as i believe) i've been looking forward to re-strengthening my arousal towards women. without porn, I've recently found myself fantasizing and getting slightly turned on over women (female kind in general) again. however it's not that strong yet.

so my question is; should i respond by escalating to these fantasies in order to reinforce the rewiring, or wait it out so i don't get desensitized again and default to the more recent perverse tastes I've acquired? 

 

[Gabe Deem]

Hey emperor,

should i respond by escalating to these fantasies in order to reinforce the rewiring, or wait it out so i don't get desensitized again and default to the more recent perverse tastes I've acquired?

Here's the deal.

Anything porn related is to be avoided completely, including porn related fantasy. However, thinking about "real girls" is something we are not sure about as far as it effecting your reboot. My advice is "if it ain't real then no deal" and to pursue a real partner to spend time with and do bonding behaviors like kissing, cuddling, holding hands etc.

I will say this... I would not "escalate" your fantasies but if you want you could try and think about real girls and report what happens. Personally I'd stay away and get all my re-wiring from real person to person contact but it is up to you what road you want to take as everyone's reboot is different.

Avoiding porn and porn fantasy is a must... everything else is up to the rebooter.

Welcome to the Nation and hope the best for you. Keep posting and document what happens. Much love

 

[emperor]

thank-you Gabe Deem,

however,  there's more to this dilemma:

firstly i'm also trying to deal with involuntary celibacy so real partners is actually difficult to come by at this point in my life.

secondly i fantasize a lot about intimate vanilla stuff with real girls, but my arousal response to them has not been as strong as it used to be. furthermore, they seemed more romantic and separate from the  highly energetic sexual response to perverse stimulus which has become a subconscious default when masturbating.


i stopped cheating by looking at tumblr material to test myself out and my latest fantasies have been more like my appropriate childhood ones. i doubt they're porn fantasies. i'm just wandering if it's premature to respond to them or if it will die out if i don't?

 

[demon932]

Hey!
I started nofap a few days ago but I think you should just stick to this: No porn, no masturbation, no fantasizing. I had (and still do, but less frequent) fantasies and spikes about various fetishes but just sticking to this has cleared my mind and I want my girlfriend (in various ways) much more than I did before.
If you haven't had any relationships or sex before I suggest the same; you become more social and attractive. You will eventually find your real you by doing so. I believe it's not a matter of direction-taking.

I wish you the best!
Check out my journal too!

 

[emperor]

okay, so complete cold turkey, including non-porn fantasy?

i accept!

 

[iamnotauser]

Cold turkey has been my method so far emperor and I can confirm it is both balls hard but totally rewarding. I've only been successful at staying cold turkey for a super short period of time, like 5 days? (reboot has only just begun for me) but already got back up to 90-100% erections without any fantasizing - the biggest challenge for me is edging, which is all I seem to want to do. What I'm going to do moving forward is to aim for cold turkey, learn what works/doesn't, as I go, and make adjustments until I get there. I'll keep an eye on your reboot for sure, so let us know how it goes and keep posting!  ;D

 

[emperor]

yeah i second that edging is my biggest to, especially at night when i'm half asleep its become a habit. 

awesome, will do. cheers guys. 

 

[LTE]

Definitely stay away from fantasy.