ArlsanTarkatan
Member
*Opens my door to a conquest I must succeed in*
Hello to all that read this. As you might already be guessing, I'm here to share my experiences, past and future, so that I can successfully recover from PIED.
When I first discovered porn, I was determined to get to understand the "ins and outs" of it. My PMO habits had an early developmental start, when I first started watching it at the age of 12. I had no idea what porn or masturbation was at the time, and I can't even remember how I found out about it... but one thing's for sure: it would late prove to be extremely detrimental to my life in any aspect imaginable. I discovered what masturbation was one day, while I was in the bathroom. I was washing my hands and had an erection (at this time, I didn't know what an erection was or what causes them) and was trying to shimmy it back into my pants when I noticed the faint pleasure I detected from puling and pushing on it repeatedly. It didn't take long for me to keep up with it and have my first orgasm. Soon thereafter, porn only strengthened my new found desire to please myself in what would later become a horrible addiction. (note: also at this time, was when I was discovering my sexuality and my sexual attractions.... I came to terms with my sexuality later life in that I might be gay, but after reading somewhere on YBOP about some kind of addiction to different tastes of porn (I forget the term), I believe that my homosexual curiosities are purely based off of my hard porn usage and deeply-rooted addiction :-\ :-\ :-\ )
Fast forward a couple years later, my PMO habits have increased greatly, and it has become a regular thing. I'd say I'd do it on a weekly basis, but how many days a week I PMO depended on my libido. Then, my PMO must have hit the worst in 9th grade, when I was 14 years old. As a natural very horny teenager, yes, there were days where I'd masturbate when I come home. But this, this was BAD! Around the middle to end of the school year, I legit came home, every single day, and jerked off to all the porn I could find. My tastes varied greatly and I had no idea I'd be watching AND getting off to the stuff that I do now. It then became so bad that my erection quality decreased, my attention span was reduced, I had foggy memory in class, I was always fatigued, I could neither concentrate efficiently nor comprehend things that take brainpower like math, all of which I attributed to the fact that I am going through puberty. It was a ritual, and it seemed like my body knew the routine, so that it automatically spiked my libido when I came home. I conditioned myself to masturbating every day, whenever possible. I came home, I masturbated; I was out, I rushed to the public bathroom and masturbated; I was in school, I rushed to their bathroom and masturbated, not to mention that sometimes, I'd honestly do nothing but jack off relentlessly, until I felt like I would collapse from all the energy it drained from me. My penis suffered as a result of the incessant masturbation in that I would no longer have a 85-100% erection like how you get when you first begin puberty... I would literally masturbate with a limp dick around 50-65% erection quality. And that's just sitting on the edge of the bed. If it was in terms of standing, you better believe I wouldn't even BE hard, practically. I don't know how I ever got to that point, but I did. :'(
Now in the present, it's still worse! The beginning of the summer of 2014, I realized I was developing a habit in which I'd masturbate to something that causes me anxiety, that causes me to become depressed, or if I'm simply bored. If I was upset with a grade, I'd jerk off; if I was depressed about not being able to go out, I'd jerk off. I literally watch porn WHEN i'M BORED. I don't watch it because I'm in need of release, I simply watch it TO PASS TIME!! NOW THAT IS SEVERELY BADD!! Then when I turned 16, it just became so deep. It's so simple, so easy, so DAMN convenient to have a handheld phone and bookmark all the porn you love on it, and simply pick your favorite video and jerk off to it. If I was home, I'd feel like watching gangbangs; if I was out, I'd watch voyeurism; if i needed to something "spontaneous", I'd watch amateur homemade videos. Roleplaying, fantasy, anime, you name it, it was all in my porn library. It's so easy having a portable means of porn to masturbate to, anywhere I was; I just plug in my headphones and off I go!
BUT..... It is time for A CHANGE!!
;D I am making goals for myself and I truly wish I had the will to accomplish such goals. It is honestly a shame, though, because I found out about YBOP and Redditors' alleged benefits of NoFap on Reddit in August/September 2013, and ever since then, I had continually set one month of nofap for myself, but I'd relapse in just a matter of days. I kept restarting my NoFap calender, and each time, I'd relapse!!!! :-[ :-[ Now a year later, I'm struggling with it even more, and I still cannot find the will to cease from PMO altogether. But after visiting this site for some time, and after having my second wet dream, which back then was the only reason why I wanted to start no PMO: to get another wet dream, I have hope in that I will be able to succeed.
Today's 11/11/14, last time I masturbated was 11/9, my goal is to make it to 6 months; however, I am going to to go for 90 days PMO free and see the results, or reap the benefits, as the case may be . Of course, even after I finish the 90 days, I still am going to go PMO free. But for now, let the journey begin.
Hello to all that read this. As you might already be guessing, I'm here to share my experiences, past and future, so that I can successfully recover from PIED.
When I first discovered porn, I was determined to get to understand the "ins and outs" of it. My PMO habits had an early developmental start, when I first started watching it at the age of 12. I had no idea what porn or masturbation was at the time, and I can't even remember how I found out about it... but one thing's for sure: it would late prove to be extremely detrimental to my life in any aspect imaginable. I discovered what masturbation was one day, while I was in the bathroom. I was washing my hands and had an erection (at this time, I didn't know what an erection was or what causes them) and was trying to shimmy it back into my pants when I noticed the faint pleasure I detected from puling and pushing on it repeatedly. It didn't take long for me to keep up with it and have my first orgasm. Soon thereafter, porn only strengthened my new found desire to please myself in what would later become a horrible addiction. (note: also at this time, was when I was discovering my sexuality and my sexual attractions.... I came to terms with my sexuality later life in that I might be gay, but after reading somewhere on YBOP about some kind of addiction to different tastes of porn (I forget the term), I believe that my homosexual curiosities are purely based off of my hard porn usage and deeply-rooted addiction :-\ :-\ :-\ )
Fast forward a couple years later, my PMO habits have increased greatly, and it has become a regular thing. I'd say I'd do it on a weekly basis, but how many days a week I PMO depended on my libido. Then, my PMO must have hit the worst in 9th grade, when I was 14 years old. As a natural very horny teenager, yes, there were days where I'd masturbate when I come home. But this, this was BAD! Around the middle to end of the school year, I legit came home, every single day, and jerked off to all the porn I could find. My tastes varied greatly and I had no idea I'd be watching AND getting off to the stuff that I do now. It then became so bad that my erection quality decreased, my attention span was reduced, I had foggy memory in class, I was always fatigued, I could neither concentrate efficiently nor comprehend things that take brainpower like math, all of which I attributed to the fact that I am going through puberty. It was a ritual, and it seemed like my body knew the routine, so that it automatically spiked my libido when I came home. I conditioned myself to masturbating every day, whenever possible. I came home, I masturbated; I was out, I rushed to the public bathroom and masturbated; I was in school, I rushed to their bathroom and masturbated, not to mention that sometimes, I'd honestly do nothing but jack off relentlessly, until I felt like I would collapse from all the energy it drained from me. My penis suffered as a result of the incessant masturbation in that I would no longer have a 85-100% erection like how you get when you first begin puberty... I would literally masturbate with a limp dick around 50-65% erection quality. And that's just sitting on the edge of the bed. If it was in terms of standing, you better believe I wouldn't even BE hard, practically. I don't know how I ever got to that point, but I did. :'(
Now in the present, it's still worse! The beginning of the summer of 2014, I realized I was developing a habit in which I'd masturbate to something that causes me anxiety, that causes me to become depressed, or if I'm simply bored. If I was upset with a grade, I'd jerk off; if I was depressed about not being able to go out, I'd jerk off. I literally watch porn WHEN i'M BORED. I don't watch it because I'm in need of release, I simply watch it TO PASS TIME!! NOW THAT IS SEVERELY BADD!! Then when I turned 16, it just became so deep. It's so simple, so easy, so DAMN convenient to have a handheld phone and bookmark all the porn you love on it, and simply pick your favorite video and jerk off to it. If I was home, I'd feel like watching gangbangs; if I was out, I'd watch voyeurism; if i needed to something "spontaneous", I'd watch amateur homemade videos. Roleplaying, fantasy, anime, you name it, it was all in my porn library. It's so easy having a portable means of porn to masturbate to, anywhere I was; I just plug in my headphones and off I go!
BUT..... It is time for A CHANGE!!
;D I am making goals for myself and I truly wish I had the will to accomplish such goals. It is honestly a shame, though, because I found out about YBOP and Redditors' alleged benefits of NoFap on Reddit in August/September 2013, and ever since then, I had continually set one month of nofap for myself, but I'd relapse in just a matter of days. I kept restarting my NoFap calender, and each time, I'd relapse!!!! :-[ :-[ Now a year later, I'm struggling with it even more, and I still cannot find the will to cease from PMO altogether. But after visiting this site for some time, and after having my second wet dream, which back then was the only reason why I wanted to start no PMO: to get another wet dream, I have hope in that I will be able to succeed.Today's 11/11/14, last time I masturbated was 11/9, my goal is to make it to 6 months; however, I am going to to go for 90 days PMO free and see the results, or reap the benefits, as the case may be
. Of course, even after I finish the 90 days, I still am going to go PMO free. But for now, let the journey begin.
